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• Hello beautiful people! • I’m so thankful for being able to spend a beautiful week with my friend Zeb and her family in NYC. After soaking up New York City’s energy and beautiful moments with Zeb, I drove back to Oklahoma. The plan was that I would be stopping in different states and see as much as possible. Zeb decided to come along because she could not trust the idea of me being alone in this journey. She has always been my guardian angel, who made sure that I was safe and okay. She drove with me to Ohio, and then went back. I drove the remaining 13 hours by myself.
• I was excited to have this much time alone, to reflect, catch up on my podcasts, and listen to few tedtalks. What I did not realize is that during those hours some uncomfortable memories and pain were going to show up as well. You know, how we all assume that we’re done dealing with our problems. Ha!!!
• Grief, anger, and hopelessness are personal and selfish, until they’re not anymore. Eventually, they usually turn into good works and connection. Time takes time. We have to just let it be unbearable and awful for as long as it takes, before the pain become productive. St. Anne Lamott always reminds us that it’s the ‘eventually’ part that blows.
Driving back from NYC • I can tell I’m getting softer. I’m so grateful to God for that. There were comments, that 5 year ago would have sent me into a deep depression. Not anymore. People need to say what they need to say. I hear people, who are furious at me for believing in God the way I do. I understand. I hear my friends who are defending God like their very lives depend on it. I understand.
• As I was driving, my mind was going through so many things. Personal stories of love and hope, also some filled with pain and restlessness. I can feel the pain in stories of my clients and fear that undeniably exists. I know that we are all dealing with life to some extent in different places, and are looking for answers. I just know that I still love this broken place and the broken people in it. I am one of them, just working on myself and helping others to do the same. The brokenness is deeper and more painful than I have ever understood before. But the beauty is deeper and more blindingly present than I understood before either. That is what keeps me going on!
• I am so grateful for you. I deeply, deeply cherish and appreciate you. Stay kind to your heart as you deal with old pains and disappointments. Do not forget to give yourself some credit that how you have transformed into an understanding being so you can be kind to others. I am here to remind you that we are so much more alike than different.
