CASPR I Love My Job It’s the People I Can’t Stand Jody Urquhart idoinspire

1. CASPRI Love My Job It’s the People I Can’t StandJody Urquhartwww.idoinspire.com

2. How we typically deal with conflict: 1) Avoid it 2) Pretend 3) Complain • Which gets the best result? • Which do you use with your… spouse, a physician, upper management, co- worker

3. Inappropriate behaviors that help people get what they want at the expense of others: • Gossip • The Silent Treatment • Withholding Information • Passive Aggressiveness

4. Silent Frustration: 10 Sources of Conflict & How to Speak Up 1.Incompatible goals or values 2.Withholding information 3.Lack of Communication- frequency, quantity, quality are all common sources of stress and disharmony. 4.Lack of Clarity over issues 5.Lack of Assertiveness 6.Power Plays- not all behaviors are helpful to relationships – like when one person tries to exert power over a situation 7.Habits - many people work with someone who has one or more habits they find undesirable (showing up late, missing deadlines, indirect communication) 8.Sense of entitlement 9.Expectations – judgments, inaccurate assumptions and unmet expectations are a major source of conflict 10.Personality differences

5. - What are the alarm bells that come up when recruiting that indicate a physician may be difficult?

6. Assertive communication • Is the ability to speak and interact in a manner that considers and respects the rights and opinions of others while also standing up for your own rights, needs and personal boundaries.

7. 8 Benefits of being Assertive: • Reduces anxiety and stress often caused by misunderstandings and conflicts. • Allows you to express your thoughts and feelings clearly and effectively. • Self-esteem and self-confidence is enhanced and you have better control over your own life. • Others have more respect for your ideas and opinions by knowing where you stand. • Relationships with others are greatly improved by disagreeing without being hostile. • Having the ability to say “no” when you mean “no” without feeling self-conscious. • Motivates others to clearly state their own opinions and ideas. • Allows you to ask for help when needed without fear and stress.

8. What is the worst thing that can possibly happen if I voice my feelings in a respectful manner?”

9. How do men and women think differently? Men think compartmentally and women think globally Men- Things such as Work, Hobbies, Wife, Sex, etc. are kept in distinctly different compartments or filesWomen- Tend to do the complete opposite, as they connecting things up. Women see how details and information relate to each other, with their inherent underlying and interrelated connections( ie- connect one argument or event to the next)

10. How do men and women speak differently? • Men speak to report facts in short phrases with little or no details • Men want and need the bottom line up front • Women speak in paragraphs to build to the bottom line • Building relationship is primary for women yet telling the story leading up to the bottom line can frustrate men

11. Words and Eye Contact On average, women use 25,500 words in a day while men use about 12,500 in a day.On average, women maintain eye contact while speaking for twelve seconds vs. a man maintaining eye contact for three secondsHow does this change the way a female recruiter should interact with a male candidate (and vice versa) to make the interaction more comfortable?

12. How do men and women decide differently? Women have been taught since childhood to use “hint language” when asking for something she wants or needs. Unfortunately, men do not often get the hint( they are literal) focusing attention on the context of the message rather than hidden meaningsWhen working with candidates remember to speak THEIR language not your own.

13. A better way! Steps to powerfully confront others: Step One - State what’s bothering you - Write it down at first - Avoid Blame… Use “I” statements - Use softening statements (i.e.- I know you have been busy or you may not realize this.)

14. Step Two- Ask for what you want • Could you call me when you have a dispute you want to discuss Step Three- Get Confirmation- Is that Ok? • Is that ok?

15. 4 Behavioral Types: # 1 Director Very fast paced and productive Works well under pressure Great at delegating Winning is important Challenges: May take on too much and get overwhelmed (and drop everything) Does not tend to balance appreciation with criticism- The only time they say “well done!” is when they order steak Tend to look over your shoulder Can be bad listeners (far too busy to listen)

16. #2 Socializer Likes fun, excitement and recognition Can be very persuasive and have the gift of gab Tend to have a positive and sunny disposition Challenges: Not detail oriented Tends to jump into things without preparation (let’s just see what happens) May be disorganized and not get stuff done May exaggerate and leave out important details

17. # 3 Steady Relater Strives for stability and tries to blend into situations Likes close one- on- one relationship Loyal and reliable Great listeners Challenges: Tends to avoid conflict Feelings may get hurt easily Doesn’t like change

18. # 4 Cautious Thinker Likes order, accuracy and analysis Tend to be planners, very systematic and intellectual Highly detail oriented and rational Challenges: May procrastinate Take a long time to make decisions because they need so much research Can be a Perfectionist – Tasks need to be done right or they won’t do it at all Can be very critical and pessimistic in nature

19. If you created a work team with all 4 personality types, how would they solve a problem?

20. The Director- Would quickly create and delegate his plan to othersThe Socializer- Would want to express his opinion, discuss and get agreementThe Relater- Would need for the group to bond first and would not want to rock the boat or make any abrupt changesThe Thinker- Would need proper data, time and analysis to think this through

21. Steps for Managing Expectations 1) Greet the person, clarify who you are and your role 2) Ask to Help 3) Clarify Expectations 4) Manage/ Define Expectations 5) Under Promise/ Get agreement 6) Demonstrate you met Expectations

22. Influence Expectations • Explain your constraints • Satisfy easier or smaller needs • Under promise • Lower Expectations • Use the word AndnotBut