Bullying: Lifelong Pain Prelude to Violence

1. Bullying: Lifelong Pain Prelude to Violence SuEllen Fried BullySafeUSA

2. Definition of Bullying: Bullying occurs when one or more individuals inflict physical, verbal, emotional, psychological and/or sexual abuse on another or others.

3. Is it really a problem? • In 2/3 of the 37 school shootings since 1974, the attackers felt persecuted, bullied, threatened, attacked or injured. • There has been an alarming increase in youth suicide in the last decade and more and more students are experiencing depression. Between 1980-1997, the rate of suicide increased 109% for 10-14 year old students. • 74% of 8-11 year old students say that teasing and bullying occur at their school. • Recent study indicates that in the United States, 5,736,417 students are involved in bullying- as a bully, a target or both.

4. Journal of American Medical Association Research Article on Bullying ● The study measured the prevalence of bullying behaviors among youth and attempted to determine an association of bullying and being bullied with indicators of social adjustment: problem behavior, school adjustment, social/emotional adjustment, and parenting. ● The sample included 15686 students grades 6-10 throughout the US. Students filled out a survey that measured their involvement in bullying- either as a bully or as a target. ● They found that 29.9% reported being involved as a bully (13.0%), a target (10.6%) or both (6.3%). ● They concluded that the prevalence of bullying among US youth is substantial, and that given the behavioral and emotional difficulties associated with bullying, as well as the long term negative outcomes for the youth involved, the issue of bullying merits serious attention- both for future research and PREVENTATIVE INTERVENTION.

5. Four Major Concerns • Targets • Bullies • Witnesses • Teachers

6. Targets • Over 160,000 students stay home from school each day because of fears of what might happen to them on the bus, the playground, the bathroom, the cafeteria, the hallways, the locker room, the classroom, or walking home from school. • Anxiety increases for students being bullied and decreasesconcentration- lowering students ability to retain and learn materials covered in the classroom. • Today’s target can become tomorrow’s bully- most of the students involved in classmate shootings had suffered rejection at the hands of their peers.

7. Bullies In a research study done by Dr. Leonard Eron, he found: • One out of four bullies nominated by their classmates in the third grade, had a criminal record by the age of 28 • Male bullies were at greater risk to have become abusive husbands • Female bullies were more likely to have become abusive mothers

8. In another research study conducted in Norway by Dan Olweus, 60% of children identified a s bullies between grades six and ten were cited for criminal behavior as adults, and 40% had three or more convictions. A study published in Learning 94 concluded that bullies whose behavior is allowed to continue are five times more likely to be involved with the juvenile justice system, to be convicted if crimes and to have children with aggression problems. More Bully Research

9. Witnesses • The “Silent Victim” • Develop a range of responses • They may become angry at the target for failing to eliminate the situation • They build a wall around their feelings to diminish the discomfort • They conceal the situation for fear of reprisal • They encourage and support the bully to gain favor with the perpetrator • They become an accomplice

10. Teachers On a daily basis: • 6,250 Teachers are threatened with bodily harm (National Education Association, NEA) • 260 Teachers are physically assaulted (NEA) • Teachers are also witnesses, often experiencing the same responses

11. Teasing VS. Bullying • What is the difference between teasing and bullying? • Teasing occurs when there is a “give and take” - No one gets hurt • Bullying occurs when one person does all the giving and the other person does all the taking- Someone gets hurt

12. 5 Types of Bullying • Physical • Verbal • Emotional • Sexual • Cyber

13. Can words really hurt? • Sticks and stones can break your bones, but words…….. CAN BREAK YOUR HEART

14. Recognize the cycle of violence Pain Revenge Rage

15. Recognize the cycle of violence Pain Suicide Depression

16. Three Kinds of Bullies The Proactive Bully • Bullies for the pleasure of it • Has no apparent motive • Has antisocial traits • Does not form attachments • Can be cold and calculating

17. The Reactive Bully • Bullies in response to a perceived threat • Is hyper-vigilant to signs of provocation • Does not believe that he/she initiates bullying behavior • May be or have been a target

18. The Elitist Bully Bullies because of perceived position Has been corrupted by the power he/she acquires because of attractiveness, wealth, athletic ability, or parents’ status

19. Apathy/Sympathy/EmpathyDiscussion with students • Apathy- lack of feeling • Sympathy- feeling sorry for someone • Empathy- caring about and trying to understand how someone else feels “Walk a mile in my shoes”

20. Strategies for schools • Develop a school-wide policy on bullying prevention and intervention. • Define unacceptable behaviors and the consequences for those behaviors and consistently impose them. • Use consistent terminology to hold students accountable for various forms of bullying. • Saturate the school atmosphere with anti-bullying messages and incentives. • Determine high-risk locations for bullying and actively monitor these areas. • Involve everyone to make it a whole-school team approach. • Involve parents- SAC, PTO, Parent Handout

21. Strategies for Teachers • Emphasize the importance of respect and dignity for EVERYONE in the classroom. • Emphasize a respect for differences of all kinds. • Model appropriate behavior- apologies and appreciations. The ways in which you handle your own anger, stress, frustration and mistakes provide valuable lessons for students. • Discuss difference between tattling and reporting • Role play situations with students- develop strategies with them to handle bullying situations • Teach about ethics and ethical behavior

22. Assure students of confidentiality when reporting bullying. THIS IS CRUCIAL! • Never dismiss a report. Be responsive to students’ communications. • Speak with targets and bullies separately. • Bring the bully and victim together only if the target consents, but do not leave the target exposed and vulnerable.

23. Interventions with Bullies • Confront bullies in private- avoid giving them public status and power • Determine source of bullying behavior- i.e. low self esteem, past target, difficulties at home, anger etc. • Give opportunity to make amends • Offer incentives for positive behavior • Give opportunity to teach Kindness and Bully Prevention strategies to younger students

24. Interventions with Bullies Proactive Bullies need to experience the consequences of their choices. Set the boundaries, establish the limits and enforce the penalties. Reactive Bullies need to develop relationship skills. Refer for anger management, empathy training, mediation and social skills training and problem solving approaches. Elitist Bullies need to become less self-centered. Assign them service learning experiences, community volunteer opportunities and opportunities for creative leadership.

25. Interventions with Targets ٠Targets need to hear that no child deserves to be bullied and that you will do all you can to help them. • Teach and role play assertiveness. Give them • language ideas, scripts and role-playing • opportunities. • Discuss body language and facial expressions. • Help them recognize and break any annoying habits that irritate peers and attract bullies. • Support and emphasize the strengths of the target.

26. Teach students that bullies “shop around” for targets and look for students who will: Cry Comply Deny Fly off the handle Don’t Get Hooked By A Bully

27. Interventions with Witnesses • Establish a respectful atmosphere in the classroom • Remind students of responsibility to report bullying incidents to an adult • Make a commitment to keep reports confidential • Role play strategies to support targets • Encourage them to support the target in whatever manner they are comfortable. • Discuss a sense of fairness, justice, and a moral code that reflects the ethics of students.

28. Students are in need of S.O.S. from teachersSkills - Observation - Support • Skills for targets, bullies and witnesses have been discussed earlier. • Observation Monitoryour class and the hallways. Instead of talking to another teacher, watch what is happening between classes. Occasionally walk into student restrooms. Discernbullying behaviors. Become more attuned to the slights, derisive laughter and ostracizing that takes place. Supervise thoughtfully. Students are concerned when the teacher leaves the classroom physically or mentally. Leave specific instructions for substitute teachers.

29. Support Ten Ways to Offer Support 1. Establish clear rules and consequences regarding unacceptable behavior and enforce them consistently. 2. Deal with verbal abuse before it escalates. 3. Mobilize witnesses. 4. Take bullying reports seriously. 5. Realize the challenges of making changes. 6. Guarantee and maintain confidentiality. 7.Avoid embarrassing students. 8. Use classroom leaders. 9. Speak to bullies and targets separately. 10. Reinforce the classroom Code of Conduct

30. (Support continued) Collaborate with colleagues 1. Counselors 2. School Nurse 3. School Social Worker 4. Custodians 5. Media Specialist 6. Aides 7. Secretaries 8. Food Service Workers 9. Bus Drivers 10. And, of course, other teachers