Consumerism & Facebook

1. Prudent use of Pocket Money, Mobile Phones and Social Networking on the Internet Consumerism & Facebook

2. This talk is about we being HAPPY and teaching our sons how to be HAPPY!

4. Introduction

5. 1. We all want to be happy. You cannot not want to be happy. 2. But our happiness has the peculiarity that it has to be ORDERED. 3. Order however necessarily implies a final end; a purpose; AN IDEAL.

6. We choose to go... not because it is easy, but because it is hard; because that goal will serve to measure and organize the best of our energies and skills… John F. Kennedy 1917-1963 35th president of the USA

7. An ideal is something… greater than one's own self. It is something which, by the sheer force of its beauty and nobility, … Msgr. Cormac Burke 21st March 1927-? civil lawyer, priest, canon lawyer

8. …makes a person want to get away from himself, to forget himself, so as to defend, to admire, to love, to serve, the ideal. The more one loves and serves a true ideal, the more one is ennobled, by being drawn upwards towards it. There are not all that many true ideals: love, family, country, God...

9. Serve! Give ourselves… Maturity

10. And an adult is not someone who can take care of himself – plants can do that. An adult is one who can take care of others. James Stenson ? writer and educational consultant

11. One is mature when they realise they can offend or please others and act in consequence. Dr. Margaret Ogola 12th June 1958 – 21st Sept 2011 medical doctor, author

12. But because you CANNOT GIVE WHAT YOU DO NOT HAVE, then we first need to learn how to own ourselves. The powers that help us to own ourselves are called the VIRTUES

13. 4. The ancients grouped the myriad of virtues under four main ones: prudence, justice, temperance and fortitude. 5. They also grouped the myriad of vices under seven main ones: pride, vanity, avarice (greed), envy, wrath, sloth, lust and gluttony.

14. 6. Consumerism and Facebook tend to foster two vices that this talk will focus on: avarice and lust.

15. Consumerism & avarice

16. [on avarice] Avarice is a great unwisdom, a philosophical foolishness, for it assumes that happiness comes from possessing… Peter Kreeft b. 1938/1939 professor of philosophy, author

17. [attention] I have come more and more to realise that it is being unwanted that is the worst disease that any human being can ever experience. Bl. Mother Teresa 1910-1997 Foundress of the Missionaries of Charity, Nobel Peace Laureate 1979

18. Alexander the Great… after conquering the world and despairingly complaining that there were no more worlds to conquer, …soon died; but he directed that his bare hand would hang out of his coffin, to show the world that you can’t take it with you. Alexander the Great 356-323 BC King of Macedon

19. Practical ideas on avoiding Consumerism

20. [being vs. having] The most important things in life are people. Clifford C. Oluoch b. 1967 teacher , author

21. 1. Common courtesy: e.g. greeting people including auxiliary staff; learning to say ‘please’, ‘thank you’, ‘excuse me’, ‘I’m sorry’, smiling, etc.

22. [the value of a smile] Elizabeth's start of joy at the Visitation emphasizes the gift that can be contained in a mere greeting, when it comes from a heart full of God. Pope John Paul II 18 May 1920 – 2 Apr 2005 Pope, theologian, author & dramatist

23. How often can the darkness of loneliness, oppressing a soul, be dispelled by the shining ray of a smile and a kind word! A good word is soon said; yet we find it difficult to utter. We are restrained by fatigue, we are distracted by worries, we are checked by a feeling of coldness or selfish indifference. Thus it happens that we

24. may pass by persons, although we know them, without looking at their faces and without realizing how often they are suffering from that subtle [neglect?], wearing sorrow which comes from feeling ignored. A cordial word, an affectionate gesture would be enough, and something would at once awaken in them: a sign of attention and courtesy can be a breath of fresh air in the

25. stuffiness of an existence oppressed by sadness and dejection. Mary's greeting filled with joy the heart of her elderly cousin Elizabeth.

26. 2. Teaching our sons to forego certain things they have a right to, for the sake of strengthening their will-power and getting detached from things. For example: • Postponing a glass of water (at a meal) or not taking it at all; • Whenever we have a choice, taking the worst for ourselves e.g. with fruits in a basket, pieces of chicken from the sufuria etc.;

27. Bearing a bit longer with the cold/heat; • Punctuality in following your timetable throughout the day; • Eating more of what we don't like and less of what we like; • Using the stairs instead of taking the lift; • Maintaining order in my room, tools,

28. clothes, books etc.; • Avoiding looking at myself too many times or for too long in the mirror; • Not using sugar, sauces & condiments; • Leaving things in my room, in such a way that the house-help has less work to do; • And so on…

29. 3. Every several months, going through their closet with them and discarding items of clothing and apparel that they have not used for over a month. 4. Teaching them to make their possessions last (instead of buying new ones every so often).

30. 5. Giving them some pocket money.

31. Generally speaking, it is a good idea to give them some pocket money. • It is also a good idea to give them (from time to time) a little less pocket money than they need. • How much should I give? Find out what he needs the pocket money for.

32. Teach them to use their money for others once in a while e.g. sadaka, Secret Santa… • During the holidays, make them work for their pocket money. • Teach them to save.

33. 6. Never arguing with your spouse in front of your children.

34. [your own example; to husbands] Your path to heaven has a name on it: your wife’s. St. Josemaria Escriva 1902-1975 priest, civil lawyer, canon lawyer, Founder of Opus Dei

36. Facebookand lust

37. What is the main hazard of Facebook to our sons and to the youth in general? • It is cheap financially, • It is expensive in time, and • Exorbitant in morals (especially purity).

38. And what is the magic spell that Facebook casts on the youth? • virtual friendships (ubiquitous and 24/7), • avatars (what I’d like to be seen as vs. what I really am) • anonymity and shamelessness.

39. Greatest among my concerns is the apparent lopsided corruption of girls more than boys.

40. [Aint I a Woman?] If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these women together ought to be able to turn it back, and get it right side up again! And now they is asking to do it, the men better let them. Sojourner Truth 1797-1883 American abolitionist and women's rights activist

41. If you would wish to corrupt a society, corrupt woman and unleash her on society. If you would wish to improve society, improve woman and unleash her on society. Silvano Borruso b. 13th May 1935 linguist, inventor & philosopher

42. Practical ideas on teaching the Virtue of Purity

43. 1. Take better care of your daughters, nieces and god-daughters! Raise them into ladies – not women! 2. Teach your sons to esteem women – beginning with those in the same household: his own mother, the house-help, his sister…

44. [on purity] [3] …remember …God often withholds from us the grace to avoid a lesser sin because we are in danger of a greater sin. Peter Kreeft b. 1938/1939 professor of philosophy, author

45. To avoid pride, he sometimes lets us fall into lust, since lust is usually obvious, undisguised, and pride is not. So to conquer lust, we should focus less on lust and more on pride. Only when we are truly humble does God give us the grace to conquer lust.

46. And what is the best way of conquering pride? Service to others.

47. [purity and prayer] [4] "Man cannot live without joy; therefore when he is deprived of true spiritual joys it is necessary that he become addicted to carnal pleasures.“ St. Thomas Aquinas c. 1225 – 7 March 1274 philosopher, theologian & author

48. …spiritual joys such as prayer, cultural reading, philosophy, art, music, dance, excursions, etc.

49. [on purity] God is not a substitute for sex, as Freud thought; sex is often a substitute for God. The deepest passion of the soul is meant for God. When the true God comes, the false gods go. To conquer lust, forget about lust and love God. Peter Kreeft b. 1938/1939 professor of philosophy, author

50. "A fly never enters a boiling pot."