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Emotional Resilience – Understanding and Dealing with (Cyber ) Bullies

Emotional Resilience – Understanding and Dealing with (Cyber ) Bullies. “ Traditional Bullying”. ∙ Bullying is abusive treatment, the use of force or coercion to affect others, particularly when habitual and involving an imbalance of power.

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Emotional Resilience – Understanding and Dealing with (Cyber ) Bullies

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  1. Emotional Resilience – Understanding and Dealing with (Cyber) Bullies

  2. “Traditional Bullying” ∙Bullyingis abusive treatment, the use of force or coercion to affect others, particularly when habitual and involving an imbalance of power. ∙It may involve verbal harassment, physical assault or coercion and may be directed persistently towards particular victims. ∙The "imbalance of power" may be social power and/or physical power. The victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a "target.“ ∙ Bullying consists of three basic types of abuse – emotional, verbal, and physical. It typically involves subtle methods of coercion such as intimidation.

  3. Physical: ∙ physical contact ∙ threats of inflicting harm ∙ taking things ∙ forcing one to do a demeaning action

  4. Emotional: • Using one’s circumstances/predicament against themselves • Getting others to align and to ignore or torment you • Verbal • Continuous taunting • Use of degrading labels in attempt to have superiority

  5. Power Bullying: ∙Appointed authority ∙ Financial authority ∙ Relational authority ∙ Positional authority

  6. A new kind of bullying has emerged:Cyber Bullies! Cyber Bullying from youtube: Cyber Bullying - YouTube.avi

  7. Cyber Bullying The use of information and communication technologies to support deliberate, repeated, and hostile behaviour by an individual or group, that is intended to harm others.

  8. Extent of Cyber-Bullying • Study done of 1500 students between the ages of 10 to 14 years of age: • 42% have been bullied while online. One in four have had it happen more than once. • 35% have been threatened online. Nearly one in five had had it happen more than once. • 21% have received mean or threatening e-mails or other messages. • 58% admit someone has said mean or hurtful things to them online. More than four out of ten say it has happened more than once. • 58% have not told their parents or an adult about something mean or hurtful that happened to them online. • Source: ABC News September 2006

  9. 43% of U.S. teens having experienced some form of cyber-bullying in the past year. • 2006 survey by Harris Interactive reported: • Similarly, a Canadian study found: • 23% of middle-schoolers surveyed had been bullied by e-mail • 35% in chat rooms • 41% by text messages on their cell phones • Fully 41% did not know the identity of the perpetrators.

  10. In Singapore… ∙ In an informal poll conducted by Touch Cyber Wellness & Sports of 255 students from three secondary schools, almost 35 per cent said they had been cyber-bullied in one form or another. ∙Esther Ng, founder of the Coalition Against Bullying for Children & Youth, an agency that provides resources for people to seek help on bullying issues, agreed. She cited a 2006 survey of 3,488 Singaporean students in which 25 per cent - or 872 students - admitted to having been victimised online.

  11. ∙Another 31 per cent said that the online victimisation was in addition to physical bullying they also faced. ∙Citing studies published by WiredSafety.org, PohYeangCherng, manager of Touch Cyber Wellness & Sports, said: "There are far more reports of cyber- bullying from Singapore on a per capita basis compared to all other countries except for the United States."

  12. Why Is Cyber Bullying So Rampant? ∙Virtual anonymity ∙Lack of immediate consequences ∙Low accountability ∙Better able to technologically cover-up problems ∙Effective in penetrating geographical boundaries ∙Effective in getting support and people to join in (more negative attention than positive)

  13. What Do They Do? ∙ False accusations ∙ Attempts to gather information about the victim ∙ Encouraging others to harass the victim ∙ False victimization ∙ Attacks on data and equipment ∙ Ordering goods and services ∙ Arranging to meet

  14. Some New Terminology In Cyber Bullying: Cyber Mobbing ∙An apparent mistake in one’s life can lead to a lifetime of regret. ∙Almost anyone can join in the activity. ∙You are accessed 24/7 and there is very little you can do about it. ∙Your ability to control the widespread rumour/scandal is only a fraction of the rate in which it can spread. ∙Reputation can be easily ruined overnight as the spread can be viral. ∙It is a great place for bullies to hide as they be assuming false identities and feel safe in their cruel acts of tearing someone else down/apart.

  15. Flaming ∙Flaming, also known as bashing, is hostile and insultinginteractionbetween Internet users. This is a strategy of causing mischief. ∙Deliberate flaming, as opposed to flaming as a result of emotional discussions, is carried out by individuals known as flamers, who are specifically motivated to incite flaming. Their counterparts are known as trolls who are less "professional" and write obvious and blunt remarks to incite a flame war, as opposed to the more subtle, yet precise flamers. ∙Less likely to say these things in public but will do so on the website because this is the intention of the website

  16. In Singapore… ∙Five junior college students were punished for posting offensive remarks about two teachers and a vice-principal online. ∙The students, all girls, were made to remove the remarks from their Internet diaries, or blogs, and suspended for three days last month. ∙The case is not an isolated one. Of the 31 secondary schools and junior colleges contacted, 18 said they were seeing more such incidents as the number of bloggers surges.

  17. ∙Seven secondary schools and two JCs have asked bloggers who criticise or insult their teachers online - 'flaming' in Internet jargon - to remove the offending remarks. ∙TanglinSecondary science and PE teacher Tham Kin Loong said: 'I've had vulgarities hurled against me, my parents and my whole family in some students' blogs.‘ ∙The 33-year-old added: 'Most of them do not realise the legal implications of what they are writing in such a public domain.'

  18. Sexting(Megan’s Story) Megan’s story: Megan's Story - YouTube.avi

  19. ∙Sexting is the act of sending sexually explicit messages or photographs, primarily between mobile phones. ∙20% of teens (13-20) and 33% of young adults (20-26) had sent nude or semi-nude photographs of themselves electronically. ∙Additionally, 39% of teens and 59% of young adults had sent sexually explicit text messages. ∙In a 2008 survey of 1,280 teenagers and young adults of both sexes on sponsored by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy.

  20. ∙ “Be careful what you post on Facbook. In the youtube age, whatever you do, it will be pulled up again at some later stage in your life. ∙When you are young, you make mistakes and do some stupid stuff. I have been hearing a lot about young people who post their stuff on Facebook and suddenly they go apply for a job and somebody is going to search… and so that is some practical political advise…” -- Barack Obama (President of the United States of America)

  21. Another Warning Be careful; about what you post on facebook: Be Careful About Posting in Facebook - YouTube.avi

  22. Effects on the Bullied ∙Depression ∙Low self-esteem ∙Health problems ∙Poor grades ∙Suicidal thoughts ∙Trust and relationship issues ∙Anger issues

  23. The Bible, David & Goliath (1 Samuel 17:4 – 48) We see 3 responses from this: ∙Bully (Philistines, Goliath) ∙Bullied (Israelites, David) ∙By-standers 3 types of by-standers: ∙The fearful and indifferent (neutral) ∙The fearful and despondent (negative) – Eliab v28 ∙ The fearful and pro-active encourager (positive) – Saul v27(b) ∙We all have a responsibility to the bully and the bullied ∙By-standers – stand up for people : By-standing or standing by

  24. The Impact of Bullying Phoebe Prince, 15 :Phoebe Prince, 15 May Have Committed Suicide Because of Cyber Bullying - YouTube.avi Today Show: Today Show - Teen Bullies Apologize In Phoebe Prince Case - YouTube.avi

  25. What Can We Do?Romans 8:31-39 31What, then, shall (Your Name) say in response to this? If God is for (Your Name),who can be against (Your Name)? 32He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for(Your Name) —how will he not also, along with him, graciously give (Your Name)all things? 33Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for (Your Name).

  26. 35Who shall separate (Your Name) from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36As it is written: "For (Your Name) ’s sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” 37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved (Your Name). 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate (Your Name) from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

  27. Learn to Trust God in ALL Circumstances “There is much knowledge in the world but little wisdom. Wisdom comes from our centeredness in the finality of the absoluteness of God’s truth , and the total and complete surrender to His loving will.” (Journal: 12 October 2006)

  28. CHRISTIAN SUCCESS... ... is measured by our commitment and surrender to the Lordship of Christ. (Journal: 15 Jan 2008)

  29. “Christian living is about a tension. A tension of daily dying and surrendering to God’s awesome gentleness and perfect love. This gives us the strength, hope and joy to live each day for Him. Though difficult, it promises grace. Though painful, it promises hope. Though perplexing, it promises peace. Above all, we are never alone! …In total surrender comes complete peace” (Journal: 17 June 2002)

  30. God Loves Each of Us As If There Were Only One of Us! - Saint Augustine

  31. If you are bullied or know of someone who is bullied, please contact the following persons: School Counsellors: ∙ MsChow OiHarchowoihar@acsindep.edu.sg ∙ MrMuhammad Hafiz muhdhafiz@acsindep.edu.sg ∙ MrCharlie Ongcharlieong@acsindep.edu.sg Director (Counselling): ∙ MrsMervylnGohmervyln@acsindp.edu.sg Christian Ministry Staff: ∙ Mrs Jaime Hang jaime@as.acsindp.edu.sg

  32. It’s not what happens along the way, it’s how you end.NEVER GIVE UP! Death crawl: -DeathCrawl- from Facing the Giants - YouTube.avi

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