James Norris www.jamesnorris.org james@jamesnorris.org

1. Emotional Intelligence Meets a Life Story of Behavior Change AIESEC SIM Youth Dialogue February 4, 2012 Singapore Institute of Management James Norris www.jamesnorris.org james@jamesnorris.org

2. Who rocks? You do!

3. Life Experiments • Personal development startup • Personal development non-profit (19 events/”homework” assignments) • One month sabbatical in desert • One year quasi-sabbatical • Two 7-person mastermind groups, one 4-person Personal Advisory Board • One personal advisory board • Three mentors (personal development, business, social innovation) • 137 serious self-assessments • 157 frivolous self-assessments • 1,000+ documented pieces of feedback • 987 firsts • 24 hours/day time tracking (9 months) • Daily performance self-assessment (5-20 metrics, 2.5 years) • Overload experiment (12 months, 60 academic hours, 4 part-time jobs/internships, 2 senior year capstone projects/quasi-theses, 1 girlfriend) • 20 Get Stuff Done Days • ROI days • Discipline days • Three month mobile phone free experiment • Hunger fasts • Daily training push • Frugality experiment • Caffeine fasts • Facebook fasts • Socializing fasts/hermit mode • Internet fasts/information diets • Computer fasts • Courage experiments • Artificial deadline experiments • Partial vegetarian diet (2 day per week) • Essentially giving up TV • Essentially giving up video games • Essentially giving up non-productive social life for extended periods • Moving to a completely foreign country • (Temporarily) giving up 80% of my stuff upon moving to foreign country

4. Life Snapshot • Founded/established 3 social enterprises, 8 organizations, and 5 clubs • Helped build 3 other startups • Learned from 22 jobs/internships • Experimented with 7 microbusinesses • Graduated with 3 majors, 4 minors, 2 programs

7. EQ in a Nutshell

8. Emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive emotions, to access and generate emotions so as to assist thought, to understand emotions and emotional knowledge, and to reflectively regulate emotions so as to promote emotional and intellectual growth. - Mayer & Salovey, 1997

9. Blending thinking and feeling to make optimal decisions

13. Talk to others. In one experiment men in a positive mood were more likely to talk to a woman and to make self-disclosures, which are important in social relations. Be interested in leisure activities. People in a good mood want to throw a party, go on vacation or go out for a meal. Enjoy those social interactions and leisure activities more.Resolve conflicts effectively. Studies have found people in a good mood are more likely to try and collaborate rather than avoid conflict and compete when they are put in a positive mood. Help others. When in a good mood, people are more likely to display what psychologists call 'prosocialbehaviour' - helping others and being generous with both time and money. Feel healthier.Experimental evidence shows that people in a good mood experience less pain and perceive themselves to be more healthy. Be more creative.People in a positive mood are more likely to think with originality and flexibility - perhaps through encouraging playfulness. Perform complex tasks better.Somewhat controversial this one but some evidence supports it although it probably depends on the nature of the task. Attribute success to their own skills.Good moods improve people's self-efficacy (our confidence in our own abilities). 9 Ways Happiness Leads to Success

15. Fear

17. Happiness

19. Anger

21. Embarrassment

23. Pride

24. Practice

25. 50 Ideas

28. 15 Lessons in Change • Happiness is an engineering problem. • Happiness is a set of habits. • Rap isn’t that bad. :) • Triggers first. Then KISS change. • Timing really matters. • Babies crawl, then walk, then run. You’re a baby. • 21 days to change is rubbish. • You’re a big fat elephant. • Love (and all emotion) lasts 6 seconds. • Self-control depletes glucose. Eat. • Eat well. • Grit predicts success. • Self-compassion kicks the ass of self-criticism. • Reframing rocks. • Mindfulness…Mmmmmm good.

31. Biggest Lessons

33. Lesson: Happiness is an engineering problem.

35. Lesson: Happiness is a set of habits.

37. Lesson: Rap isn’t that bad. :)

39. Lesson: Triggers first. Then KISS change.

41. Lesson: Love (and all emotion) lasts 6 seconds.

43. Lesson: Grit predicts success.

45. Lesson: Self-compassion beats self-criticism.

47. Lesson: Reframing rocks.

49. Practice