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Managing Adult Relationships in the School Community

Managing Adult Relationships in the School Community. NABMSE Regional meetings April 2013 Dr Joe O’Connell Limerick Education Centre. Context. Philosophical Liberalism Discourse of derision. In any given day……. If a relationship fractures then conflict abounds.

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Managing Adult Relationships in the School Community

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  1. Managing Adult Relationships in the School Community NABMSE Regional meetings April 2013 Dr Joe O’Connell Limerick Education Centre

  2. Context Philosophical Liberalism Discourse of derision

  3. In any given day…… Dr Joe O' Connell NABMSE 2013

  4. If a relationship fractures then conflict abounds • Conflict arises because the lens through which we view life leads us to believe that: Others have, or intend to, frustrate or ignore our interests or concerns….. a feeling Proportionality between rational and emotive thoughts and actions Think outside of your own emotive domain Dr Joe O' Connell NABMSE 2013

  5. Communication is central “Communication is the essential tool of human technology” Lewis, L.P. (1994) Curing Conflict Dr Joe O' Connell NABMSE 2013

  6. Guiding Principles • Understand and appreciate roles and responsibilities and consider context • Adopt a Professional Approach at all times • Language • Depersonalise situations • Be an active listener • Don’t carry agendas • The difference between being assertive as opposed to being aggressive Dr Joe O' Connell NABMSE 2013

  7. Keep in mind that no issue remains a single issue! There are levels of analysis: • Within Individuals • Between Individuals • The group as a whole • Temporal effect of a strong character Dr Joe O' Connell NABMSE 2013

  8. The variety of relationships! Dr Joe O' Connell NABMSE 2013

  9. Managing Challenging Relationships REACTION Dr Joe O' Connell NABMSE 2013

  10. Personal Reaction to Challenging Behaviour Your Style……Social Skills Two heads are better than one…………Collaborating Kill your enemies with kindness…..Accommodating Split the difference….. Compromising Leave well enough alone …. Avoiding Might makes right…… Competing Dr Joe O' Connell NABMSE 2013

  11. Personal Reaction to Challenging Behaviour Each of us is capable of using all five conflict handling modes, however, any given individual uses some modes better than others whether because of temperament or practice. Dr Joe O' Connell NABMSE 2013

  12. The power of the tongue! The Power of words, the appropriateness of language The kindword The gentleword The angry word The harshword The careless/unconsidered word Dr Joe O' Connell NABMSE 2013

  13. Respect is essential • Non judgemental “No one so thoroughly appreciates the value of constructive criticism….. …..as the one who’s giving it” Hal Chadwick Dr Joe O' Connell NABMSE 2013

  14. Dealing with Challenging Relationships • Principal/Parent • Principal/Teacher • Principal/Management Kindred Code between Snr Management and Teacher Dr Joe O' Connell NABMSE 2013

  15. Principal/Parent • Parent is naturally apprehensive • Parent is generally defensive • Parent has rehearsed • Parent has listened to their son/daughter • Parent has baggage • Acknowledge effort to be present • Listen /Note-taking • Demonstrate mutual interest, support and concern. • Show hope, list some positive • Get them to outline what they will, can do • Don’t set unreasonable demands • Revisit Agreement Dr Joe O' Connell NABMSE 2013

  16. Kindred Code: Principal/Staff Any disagreement between Senior Management and Staff will permeate throughout. United front at all times Professional approach at all times No confrontation/ disagreement in view of pupils Solidarity about decisions taken Positive body language sets the tone for the school Review Working Together Document Agreement in advance re scenarios Dr Joe O' Connell NABMSE 2013

  17. Principal/ Management Management is a collective corporate process Issues of conflict must be resolved Confidentiality is essential Procedures need to be adhered to at all times Documentation is essential Effective communication Informed decision making Dr Joe O' Connell NABMSE 2013

  18. Key Messages Distinguish between crisis and controversy Know yourself, your approaches, your style Appreciate roles and different types of people, invest in knowing your people Take the helicopter view Show a route to resolution, don’t become a quick fixer Adhere to any agreed procedures Dr Joe O' Connell NABMSE 2013

  19. Mo Bhuíochas Dr Joe O' Connell NABMSE 2013

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