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RELATIONSHIPS

RELATIONSHIPS. Presentation by Geoffrey Roberts. Conflict & Boundaries. Introduction. Feeling loved and connected is a core need. We all desire intimacy, communication and belonging. In this session we are going to look at how to have healthy relationships and how to manage conflict.

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RELATIONSHIPS

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  1. RELATIONSHIPS Presentation by Geoffrey Roberts Conflict & Boundaries

  2. Introduction Feeling loved and connected is a core need. We all desire intimacy, communication and belonging. In this session we are going to look at how to have healthy relationships and how to manage conflict.

  3. Love and connection Resourceful Unresourceful • Value yourself • Communicate needs • Share with others • Serve others • Be proactive - join a club or community group, play a sport... • Sacrifice love for connection • Have relationships based on drama & dysfunction • Sleep around • Give into peer pressure

  4. Doing Conflict • Relational Maturity • Desired outcome: Understanding • Humility, compromise and sacrifice • We are both valuable • Tired • Stressed • Hungry • Rejected • Under pressure • Drunk • Emotionally exhausted Assertive PassiveAggressive • Maturity • Perspective • Honour • Boundaries Passive Aggressive • Role: Victim • Desired outcome: Safety • I'm sorry, I agree with you • You are valuable (I am not) • Role: Two-faced • Desired outcome: Acceptance • Says one thing but does another • Behaves along a spectrum • Role: Bully • Desired outcome: Power • You will agree with me • I am valuable (you are not) Passive-Aggressive Spectrum Non-compliant Procrastinating Pouting/Sulking Hostility Blowing up

  5. Perspective Try to see things from a different point a view. Is there a moon walking bear in your argument?

  6. Honour Justice, vengeance, dishonour to self or... Forgiveness & Reconciliation I have weighed the dishonour. I am allowed to feel angry. I can choose to forgive. I am in control and I am significant.

  7. Honour Do disagreement with honour; don't rip each other off, be prepared to forgive and look for an outcome that is good value for everyone.

  8. Boundaries 1: Self awareness It is NOT OK for someone to... I have a right to expect... To protect my time/energy I am allowed to... 2: Set and protect your boundaries I am not comfortable with... I'm sorry I can't... Learn to say "No".

  9. Boundaries 3: Don't back down! Stand your ground politely. Don't invite people to ignore your boundaries. Know when to walk away. 4: Don't feel guilty about making yourself a priority You are allowed to be happy. You can't help anyone if you burn out. Don't be manipulated... "You've changed..."

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