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Emotions: Thinking, Feeling, and Communicating

Emotions: Thinking, Feeling, and Communicating. Chapter Summary. What are emotions Types of emotions Influence of emotional expression Guidelines for expressing emotions Managing difficult emotions. What are Emotions?. Emotions. Physiological Factors

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Emotions: Thinking, Feeling, and Communicating

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  1. Emotions: Thinking, Feeling, and Communicating • Chapter Summary • What are emotions • Types of emotions • Influence of emotional expression • Guidelines for expressing emotions • Managing difficult emotions 1

  2. What are Emotions? • Emotions • Physiological Factors • Strong emotions are coupled with strong physical changes • Raise in blood pressure and heart rate can occur • Nonverbal Reactions • Blushing, sweating, and fidgeting are nonverbal signs of emotion • Sometimes nonverbal reactions can cause negative emotions 2

  3. What are Emotions? • Emotions • Cognitive Interpretations • Emotions react on a cognitive level but activity is ambiguous • If you were to measure someone experiencing a strong emotion it would be difficult to ascertain if it was fear or joy. • Verbal Expression • Though not as effective as nonverbal communication sometimes words are required to communicate emotion • Make sure the message is understood accurately 3

  4. Influences on Emotional Expression • Primary and Mixed Emotions • Personality • There is a clear relationship between personality and emotions • Extroverted individuals seem upbeat and optimistic • Neurotic individuals report more negative emotion • Personality doesn’t have to govern communication satisfaction • Culture • Individualist Culture vs. Collectivist Culture • What does, “I love you,” really mean? 4

  5. Influences on Emotional Expression • Primary and Mixed Emotions • Gender • Biological sex is the best predictor of the ability to detect and intemperate emotional expression • Research suggests that there is some truth to the unexpressive male • Women are 10-15% more accurate in remembering emotion • People in close relationships are more likely to recognize the emotional cues of their mates than those not in a relationship 5

  6. Influences on Emotional Expression • Primary and Mixed Emotions • Social Convention • Unwritten rules of communication discourage the direct expression of most emotions • How many genuine emotions do you experience in public? • Social rules even discourage too much positive emotion • Boys can kiss their mother but should shake their father’s hand 6

  7. Influences on Emotional Expression • Primary and Mixed Emotions • Fear of Self-disclosure • Feelings are rarely shared publicly for fear of ridicule • Those whose presenting self says one thing have a difficult if not impossible time expressing the opposite • Emotion Cognition • Emotions are transferred from one person to another • Emotions can be infectious • Crying, laughing, etc. 7

  8. Guidelines for Expressing Emotions • Expressing Emotions • Recognize your feelings • Identifying your emotions is the first step to managing them • Distinguishing emotion is vital to your emotional intelligence • Expand your emotional vocabulary • Good or Bad vs. Terrible or Great • Emotionally counterfeit statements • When you say, “I feel like going to a show,” or I feel we’ve been seeing to much of each other,” is any feeling taking place? 8

  9. Guidelines for Expressing Emotions • Expressing Emotions • Share Multiple Feelings • Rarely are you experiencing just one emotion • We usually communicate one emotion and often it tends to be the most negative • Consider when and where to express your feelings • Choose an appropriate time to express your feelings • That time is not always the moment you experience them • Waiting is not always a bad idea 9

  10. Guidelines for Expressing Emotions • Expressing Emotions • Accept responsibility for your feelings • Your language should reflect the accurate emotion • “I’m feeling angry” vs. “you’re making me angry” • Be mindful of the communication channel • Choose the right channel • Face to face, e-mail, internet, etc • Understand the limitations of the channel • Remember, communication is irreversible 10

  11. Managing Difficult Emotions • ABC News Video Click on box to play video 11

  12. Managing Difficult Emotions • Debilitative Emotions • Facilitative and Debilitative Emotions • Facilitative • Contribute to effective functioning • Debilitative • Detract from effective functioning • Intensity • Some intensity in emotion may be constructive • While too much emotion will make the situation worse 12

  13. Managing Difficult Emotions • Debilitative Emotions • Debilitative emotions break down into two categories • Anxiousness • Duration • Most debilitative emotions involve communication • Most, but all debilitative emotions lead to conflict • Some debilitative emotions take longer to recover from 13

  14. Managing Difficult Emotions • Source of Debilitative Emotions • Physiology • Your genetic makeup plays a significant role • The amygdala • Hijacking the brain and sometimes the senses • Emotional Memory • Some emotional events lock themselves in your memory • These events can trigger adverse reactions 14

  15. Managing Difficult Emotions • Debilitative Emotions • Self Talk • The similarities between the physical and emotional • Look at emotions in the following example EventFeeling Bee Sting Physical PainMeeting Strangers Nervous Feelings Taking Tests Heavy Anxiety • Can you come up with some others? 15

  16. Managing Difficult Emotions • Irrationality and Emotions • The Fallacy of Perfection • Communicators should be able to handle every situation • The Fallacy of Approval • You need the approval of every person • The Fallacy of Shoulds • Inability to distinguish between what is and what should be • The Fallacy of Catastrophic Expectations • If something bad can happen it will 16

  17. Managing Difficult Emotions • Irrationality and Emotions • The Fallacy of Overgeneralization • Making decisions with little information • The Causation • Irrational belief that emotions are caused by others • The Fallacy of Helplessness • Satisfaction in life is determined by forces beyond your control 17

  18. Managing Difficult Emotions • Minimize Debilitative Emotions • Monitor your emotional reactions • Recognize when you’re feeling these emotions • Change your behavior to counteract • Note the activating event • Try to identify exactly what triggered the emotion • Keep in mind it can be more than one event • Record your self-talk • Monitor your inner monologue • Keep a journal or recording of you thoughts 18

  19. Managing Difficult Emotions • Minimize Debilitative Emotions • Dispute your irrational beliefs • Use the list of irrational fallacies on page 144-149 to discover which internal thinking could be classified as irrational • Are your beliefs rational? • Why or why not? • What can you do differently? 19

  20. Emotions: Thinking, Feeling, and Communicating • Chapter Summary • What are emotions • Types of emotions • Influence of emotional expression • Guidelines for expressing emotions • Managing difficult emotions 20

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