Grade 7 Growth and Development @ Valley Park MS

Grade 7 Growth and Development @ Valley Park MS Parent Meeting April 2, 2016

Health Curriculum

Grade 7 Growth and Development Unit Overview • Lesson 1 – Physical and Emotional Changes at Puberty and their Impacts on Relationships • Lesson 2 and 3 – Touch and Abstinence • Lesson 4 and 5 – Communication and Consent • Lesson 6 and 7 - Sexually Transmitted Infections/Disease and Prevention

Physical and Emotional Changes and their Impact on Relationships • In Lesson 1 students examine the physical and emotional changes that occur at puberty and how those changes can impact relationships. • Students will study the various changes that are common to males and females (eg. body hair, perspiration etc.) and the changes that are specific to each sex (eg. the male body after puberty can produce sperm and the female body after puberty menstruates and ovulates). • Students will discuss how puberty can impact their relationships and study positive and negative communication (eg. peer pressure) that can happen during adolescence.

Samples Pictures

Sample Content Friendship People’s friendships start to change during puberty, too. In fact, one of the jobs a person has during puberty and adolescence is to learn how to make and maintain close friendships ... with both guys and girls. You learn what kinds of people you like to be around. You learn what kind of person you want to be. You learn how to tell whether somebody likes you and how to tell whether you can trust them. You learn how to show what you feel. Learning about friendship is part of learning how to love ... because friendship is really the main ingredient of love. Loneliness is a problem for many people, especially at your age. You may have outgrown some friends, and others have outgrown you. You may feel shy about making new friends, or just not know how. And most people your age worry about “fitting in” and being liked. That’s very normal. A few pieces of advice: 1) Don’t try so hard to fit in that you forget who you are deep inside. 2) Do reach out to other people. Get to know them ... be considerate of their feelings, and expect them to care about your feelings. 3) Don’t leap into having a boyfriend or girlfriend JUST to fit in. Friendship has to grow first. 4) Do treat boys and girls like people ... because they are. 5) Don’t tease people. They’re trying to grow up and fit in just like you are. 6) If you ever GET teased, learn how to defend yourself without putting the other person down. For example… “That was a stupid thing to do!”.................................... “Don’t put me down.” “You’re fat.” ............................................................... “What difference does that make? ............................................................... You have blue eyes. So what?” “What’s the matter? Are you queer? ............................ “IF I WERE gay, it would be my ..................................................................................... private business.“ “You must be chicken.” ................................................ “So I should take your dare just to ..................................................................................... prove I’m not scared? Forget it.” Feelings Sometimes you may feel excited, confident, and ready for new challenges. Other times, you may feel awkward, shy, and embarrassed. Gradually, you’ll start to feel confident and relaxed in more and more situations. Nobody can make this happen overnight. There’s nothing you could learn in class to magically speed you past puberty and adolescence. Maybe it helps to know that everybody else feels these kinds of feelings sometimes, too. At least you’re not the only one. You are special ... but you’re also human. It’s important to remember, too, that feelings change. When people feel sad, they may think, they’ll always feel sad, but they won’t. When people feel hurt, they may not be able to imagine feeling any other way, but they will. If they never felt sad, they couldn’t ever feel joyful. If they never felt hurt, they couldn’t ever feel loved. It’s all part of being human. It’s all part of growing up.

Sample Activity

Touch and Abstinence • In Lesson 2 and 3 students examine the concepts of touch and abstinence. • They will examine the basic human need for touch (eg. parent cuddling their baby). • They will learn to distinguish between constructive touch and destructive touch. • They will differentiate between affectionate touch, sexual touch, violent touch, and exploitive touch. • Students will define the concept of abstinence and list reasons for choosing abstinence.

Sample Discussion Points Some people think all touch is sexual. What are some non-sexual kinds of touch? Some people are uncomfortable touching friends. Why? How can that feeling hurt them in the long run? Some guys feel like the only OK kinds of touch are rough-housing (like tackle football) or sexual touch. Why might they feel that way? How can that feeling hurtthem in the long run? Some girls feel like all they have to offer a guy is sex. Why might they feel that way?How can that feeling be changed? If you wanted to hug a child and he or she turned away, would it be OK to ask? What kinds of asking would be fair persuasion and what kinds would be unfair pushing? Are there some kinds of touch that are never OK under any circumstances?What kinds? If an elderly person lives alone and chooses abstinence, how else can he or she get touch needs met? If a teenager’s family does not touch much, and he or she chooses abstinence, how can he or she get touch needs met? How could a person’s age make a difference in whether some touch was risky or healthy?

Sample Content: Touch Reference Sheet FIVE BASIC KINDS OF TOUCH NURTURING TOUCH = Comforting touch, mostly for the sake of the one being touched. Examples: Neck rub, pat on the back, hugs of appreciation, brushing someone’s hair, holding a crying person, caressing a sick person’s hand, petting an animal. AFFECTIONATE TOUCH = More equally balanced between the two persons. Shows affection, caring, joy. Examples: Brief hugs, brief kisses, holding hands, rubbing shoulders, high- five after a winning game, some rough-housing, some dancing. SEXUAL TOUCH = May last longer, be softer, involve sexual parts of the body, though not always. Examples: Longer hugs or kisses, sexual intercourse, some massage, some dancing. VIOLENT TOUCH = Touch that physically hurts someone. Shows anger or power. Examples: Slapping or shoving someone in an argument, boxing or tackling for sport, spanking a child for discipline. EXPLOITIVE TOUCH = Mostly for the sake of the one doing the touching. One person may feel tricked, teased, pushed, threatened, forced, or ―talked into touching. No one deserves to be treated this way. Examples: Child sexual abuse, being teased into touch by your friends, being pinched on a private part by a person on the street, being touched roughly when you expected gentleness, being forced into sexual touch by someone you go out with. BELIEFS ... Every family, culture, and religion has its own beliefs about each kind of touch.

Sample Content: Touch Reference Sheet SEXUAL INTERCOURSE = One kind of sexual touch, when the penis is inside the vagina. Note: Forced intercourse is rape. It is never fair and it’s illegal. Sexual intercourse should be a very close and caring experience. Fact: Intercourse can lead to pregnancy. Fact: Most people have intercourse at some time in their lives. Myth: Everyone is having intercourse now. Myth: Sexual touch always includes intercourse. Beliefs: Each culture, religion, and family has its own beliefs about when intercourse is OK and when it isn’t. ABSTINENCE = Choosing not to have sexual intercourse. Fact: Abstinence is a good way to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections. Fact: Abstinence is a 100% perfect birth control method (as long as no sperm is released anywhere near the vagina or vulva). Myth: Only immature children and ―nerds abstain. Fact: Most people abstain at some times during their lives. Fact: Abstaining can show strength and maturity. Beliefs: Each culture, religion and family has its own beliefs about abstinence. MASTURBATION = A person stroking his or her own genitals for comfort or pleasure. Fact: Most people masturbate at some time in their lives. Myth: If you do not masturbate, there’s something wrong with you. Myth: If you do masturbate, there’s something wrong with you. Myth: Masturbating hurts your body, makes you insane, makes you infertile, gives you warts, or causes hair to grow on your palms. Fact: It does not hurt your body. Belief: Each culture, religion and family has its own belief about masturbation.

Continued A Bill of Rights You have a right to like touching one person and not another. (Just because you hugged your aunt, doesn’t mean you have to want to hug your cousin.) You have a right to like some kinds of touch and not others. (Just because you wanted to kiss, doesn’t mean you have to want to hold hands.) You have a right to change your mind. (Just because you hugged your friend yesterday, doesn’t mean you have to now.) You have a right to not have a reason ... just to choose not to touch or be touched without any explanation. You have a right to need touch even when you are: · Elderly · Single · Disabled · A teenager · Married A Bill of Wrongs You have a right to ask for touch, but you never have a right to: · Push (if he/she says ―no three times, you’re pushing) · Threaten (―If you don’t, I’ll break up with you/slap you/kill myself/tell other people you did it anyway.‖) · Bargain for touch (―I’ll pay for expensive dates. ―I’ll be your girlfriend/boyfriend.―I’ll take you to Homecoming!‖ ―I’ll stop teasing you.) · Put a person down for saying “no” (―What’s wrong with you? ―You’re chicken/a wimp/a baby. ―You think you’re too good! ) Did you know that… · Touch can lift depression, help the body’s immune system fight disease, and help a sick person heal more quickly. · Touch can increase the amount of hemoglobin in the blood, sending more oxygen to your heart and brain. · Touch can release chemicals called endorphins into your blood and endorphins are a natural pain killer.

Sample Picture: Touch

Sample of Rights Content Your touching rights... • To be touched in a sexual or affectionate. • To be touched in a violent way except by choice (like if you choose to play football). • To be touched in an exploitive way. • To change your mind about touching. • To want some kinds of touch and not others. • To want to touch some people and not others. • To like touch in some times or places and not others. • To be warned if the other person knows they have an infection. • To protect yourself from infections. • To decide whether, when and with whom you’ll become a parent. • To choose to abstain from intercourse or any other sexual touching. • Not to even be touched in a nurturing way without your permission. Your other rights... • To not have to look at other peoples’ private parts when you don’t want to. • To not have other people, even the doctor, look at your private parts without your permission. • Not to share private thoughts, or feelings, unless you choose to. Your rights in a clinic or doctor’s office… • Never to be touched on private parts, even by the doctor, without your permission. • To understand exactly what the nurse/doctor is checking for, what he or she finds, what he or she recommends and why. • To decide not to get a test or a treatment. • To have information about you treated confidentially. • To have a support person (friend/parent) present when you see the doctor/nurse if you choose. • To have your touching and privacy rights respected.

Sample of Abstinence Content High school students explain why they were choosing abstinence: “Hey, it’s the only 100% perfect kind of birth control and I’m really not ready to be a parent.” “We talked it over and, well, abstaining gives us time to really get to know each other ... to become real friends. That’s important to both of us. We still touch a lot; we just leave out some kinds of touch.” “It not only prevents pregnancy ... it has no side effects and it’s free!” “My religion says it’s wrong to have sex before you’re married. I agree. Period.” “I just don’t want to take ANY chance of getting herpes ... or any kind of infection for that matter. I’d rather wait.” “I feel waiting can be a test of love. If a girl really cares about me, she won’t need to put me down for preferring to wait.” “I heard that the younger you start „doing it and the more people you do it with, the more chance you have of getting cancer of the cervix. I don’t judge other people, but it’s not worth the risk to me.” “I just wouldn’t feel right. I had sex once and I felt crummy afterwards. I’d rather wait til I’m sure I’ll feel good about myself afterward.” “There are plenty of ways to show affection and caring without having sex. You just have fun in different ways.” “I don’t want to take time and energy away from my music. That’s totally important to me. I just know from when I was in love before, that sex made our relationship a lot heavier. I don’t want that now. I’m more important.” “I think people who get all hung up wanting to lose their virginity just don’t like themselves very much. I’m not in any hurry.

Communication and Consent • Lessons 4 and 5 deal with effective communication. Students will define aggressive, passive manipulative and assertive communication. • Students will then apply those definitions to various scenarios. Then students will broaden their understanding of communication to include the concept of consent. They will learn the importance of clear communication regarding consent. • They will examine their right to determine the kind of touch they will be involved in (eg. they have a right to abstain, they have a right to change their mind, they have a right to privacy etc.)

Sample of Communication & Consent Content Have trouble asking assertively for what you want? Afraid you might get turned down? Just remember, if you don't ask, people can't read your mind. And if you “ask” in a manipulative or aggressive way, you turn people off. It's easy to ask assertively. There are three steps: State a fact or a feeling. Describe what you'd like. If they say “No”….accept it gracefully. REMEMBER, if you don’t ask, you’ll never get what you want. You can’t expect people to read your mind. BUT REMEMBER, TOO, if the person has to say “no” to you more than twice, you’re being aggressive, even if they use other words (“I don’t want to.” “Cut it out.” “I don’t feel like it.”) Check all the statements you agree with. You can check more than one in each set. ___A real man knows what he wants, makes it clear to his girlfriend or wife, and doesn’t take “no” for an answer. It’s unfortunate if she doesn’t like it, but he’s the boss. When he wants to touch, for example, he touches. ___A real man knows what he wants, but he doesn’t demand it; that’s not masculine. He can get it in subtle ways, by telling little “white lies” or by making his girlfriend or wife happy so she’ll want to go along with him. When he wants to touch, he can usually get her to ask for it. ___A real man lets his girlfriend or wife make the big decisions. His job is to support her decisions and it’s unfortunate if he doesn’t agree, but she’s the boss. When he wants touch, he hopes she’ll ask for it. ___A real man doesn’t need to prove his manliness by being more powerful than his wife or girlfriend. He makes decisions, but he also respects her decisions. When he wants touching for example, he asks for it. If she says “no,” he backs off. They touch when both of them choose to.

Sample of Communication Content Saying “NO” It’s not only important to know how to ask for what you want. It’s also important to know how to turn other people down assertively when they ask for something you don’t want to give or offer you something you don’t want to take. Saying “no” assertively is not terribly hard. But very few people are good at it. The idea is to not give in, and still not lose your friends. There are three steps, and only the middle one is essential. Say something caring. That’s flattering, but… It’s nice of you to offer, but… Thanks for asking, but… I’m glad you trust me to ask, but… I love you, but…I like you, but… I care about you, but… I’m sure you have a good reason for asking, but… Refuse. No. No, sorry. No, thanks. No, I’m OK. No, that’s alright. State your decision. I’d rather… I prefer… I’m going to… I’m not going to… Or suggest an alternative - Would you like to…? How about…? I don’t believe in… I’ve decided not to… I’ve decided to…

Sexually Transmitted Infections/Diseases • In Lesson 6 and 7 students will learn about sexually transmitted infections and diseases. • They will learn which infections/disease are life-threatening, which have serious medical consequences and which do not have serious medical consequences. • They will learn which have a cure and which have no cure. • They will learn which have symptoms and which have no symptoms. • They will learn about how to prevent STI’s and who they can ask for help to get reliable information regarding STI’s.

Sample Picture: STI Prevention

Sample of STI Content

Sample STI Prevention Quiz Questions • STI/ STD Prevention • 1. The best (most certain) ways people can protect themselves and their partners from getting or giving an STD are: • Not having oral, anal, or vaginal sex. (This is called ____________and it is safest.) • Only having sex withother person, who only has sex with them, ever. (In a marriage or a long-term partner relationship where they have had years to build trust.) • Using a _________________ every time they have sex • 2. It also cuts down people’s risk of getting an STI if they: • Limit the n_________________of people they have sex with in their lives. • Go to the doctor, regularly, if they are having sex, and ask for a thorough STD ____________- up. 3 What are some ways that a person may get an STD/ STI? Circle the correct answers.

Accomodation Process • In order to request an accommodation or exemption a parent needs to submit a letter explaining what aspects of the lessons they are seeking accommodation/ exemption based on. • An accommodation is a change in the lesson. • An exemption is the excusal of the child from the lesson. In that case the students will be supervised at school and may complete an alternative independent assignment.

VPMS Letter – Grade 7 - Page 1 Parents of Grade 7 students At Valley Park MS, the Growth and Development section of the Grade 7 Health Curriculum will be covered beginning in mid-April. Our school has organized the curriculum expectations into 7 lessons which will be completed over the course of 3-4 weeks. In Lesson 1 students examine the physical and emotional changes that occur at puberty and how those changes can impact relationships. Students will study the various changes that are common to males and females (eg. body hair, perspiration etc.) and the changes that are specific to each sex (eg. the male body after puberty can produce sperm and the female body after puberty menstruates and ovulates). Students will discuss how puberty can impact their relationships and study positive and negative communication (eg. peer pressure) that can happen during adolescence. In Lesson 2 and 3 students examine the concepts of touch and abstinence. They will examine the basic human need for touch (eg. parent cuddling their baby). They will learn to distinguish between constructive touch and destructive touch. They will differentiate between affectionate touch, sexual touch, violent touch, and exploitive touch. Students will define the concept of abstinence and list reasons for choosing abstinence. Lessons 4 and 5 deal with effective communication. Students will define aggressive, passive manipulative and assertive communication. Students will then apply those definitions to various scenarios. Then students will broaden their understanding of communication to include the concept of consent. They will learn the importance of clear communication regarding consent. They will examine their right to determine the kind of touch they will be involved in (eg. they have a right to abstain, they have a right to change their mind, they have a right to privacy etc.) In Lesson 6 and 7 students will learn about sexually transmitted infections and diseases. They will learn which infections/disease are life-threatening, which have serious medical consequences and which do not have serious medical consequences. They will learn which have a cure and which have no cure. They will learn which have symptoms and which have no symptoms. They will learn about how to prevent STI’s and who they can ask for help to get reliable information regarding STI’s. In order to request a religious accommodation a parent needs to explain the concern they have with the lesson(s). If you wish to request an accommodation or exemption, please use the back of this page to explain your request and return it to the office by April 8th. If an accommodation or exemption is approved the parent will be notified in writing and a copy will be kept in the child’s OSR. If you would like to review the resources that we will be using to deliver this curriculum there are copies available for parent review in the Main Office. Please drop by and ask the office staff for one of the Grade 7 binders and you can review the specific lesson outlines and resources. Yours Sincerely, Kevin Battaglia

VPMS LETTER – Grade 7 - Page 2 Valley Park MS LETTER FROM PARENT – Grade 7 Growth and Development March 31st, 2016 Dear Principal, I request a religious accommodation or exemption from the Growth and Development Unit based on the following concerns: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Student Name: ___________________________ Student Class: ____________________________ Parent Name: _____________________________ Parent Signature: __________________________ Parent Phone Number: _____________________

Grade 7 Growth and Development @ Valley Park MS