Janet Belsky’s Experiencing the Lifespan, 3e

Janet Belsky’s Experiencing the Lifespan, 3e Chapter 10: Constructing an Adult Life Robin Lee, Middle Tennessee State University

Emerging into Adulthood • Emerging adulthood – defined by testing out different possibilities and developing self • Not a universal life stage; only exists for a minority of young people • Begins after high school and tapers off by late twenties • .

Emerging Adulthood: challenges and changes This stage of life is typically considered the most challenging and change-inducing stage of life based on: • The need to re-center life roles – focusing on responsibility, supporting self, and making independent decisions about life • The change to an unstructured path (e.g., college, independent living, work world, as opposed to the previously highly structured environment of adolescence)

Setting the Context: Culture and History • Emerging adulthood has changed with developed world. • Emerging adults are prolonging decisions on careers and marriage, therefore postponing adults’ roles. This is due to: • Life expectancy gains: People now live into their seventies or eighties, as opposed to sixties a half-century ago. This offers emerging adults the luxury of postponing adult commitments until later. • Changes in education and workforce: A half-century ago (1960s), high school graduates could successfully enter the workforce. Now, most go to college, typically spending about 6 years in college before entering the workforce. • Cultural norms focusing on self-expression: Emerging adults are focusing more on self, thus making dramatic life changes throughout adult life.

Emerging Adulthood in Southern Europe: A Difficult Time • Due to economic issues, in Spain, Italy, and Greece, priority is placed on hiring men (and women) with families, so it is hard for young people to find jobs. • In these countries, there are strong norms against cohabitating and beginning families before marriage. • So many young people in these countries continue to live with their parents. • Reaching full adulthood–and having the financial ability to leave home–often does not happen until their thirties.

Emerging Adulthood in Scandinavian Countries: A time of true exploration • In these countries (Norway, Sweden, Demark), independence is typically encouraged in emerging adulthood due to: • College being financed by the government • Employers making efforts to hire the young • Free health care for all ages • These factors combined make it possible for young people to leave the parents’ home and successfully live independently. • In Sweden, it is common for young people to cohabitate and have children before being married.

United States: Independence vs. Dependence • There are similarities with U.S. young people as in Scandinavian countries and southern European scenes. • Cohabitation • Children before marriage • Leaving home after high school (age 18) • In the United States, one exception to these similarities occurs–there is less focus on helping young people emerge into the world of work. • This exception causes a less smooth, predicable transition to adulthood. • Income inequalities and diversity of cultures have affected the financial independence of this group.

Beginning and End Points • Entry point – nest leaving • Does leaving home produce better parent−child relationships? • Research says yes. Relationship improves due to adult-to-adult conversations, etc. • Does leaving home make people more adult? • Research says yes. However, the expected independence does not necessarily develop. Tends to be a Western society tradition. May be impacted by economic issues and culture.

End Point: The Ticking of the Social Clock • Social clock – shared age norms that act as guideposts to what behaviors are appropriate at particular ages; usually set by society • On-time – matching the normal timetable • Off-time – too early or too late of the normal timetable • Are we on-time (on schedule) or off-time (either too early or too late) for what we−and society−expect at our age? • Being off-time in the late direction can cause physical and mental stress. For example, beginning career late or marrying late. • Another issue is the lack of control regarding some of these developmental tasks. For example, wanting to marry at a typical age with no significant relationship.

Constructing an Identity – Erikson’s Psychosocial Stage • Identity versus Role Confusion • Identity – the life task of deciding who to be as a person in making the transition to adulthood • Indentity confusion – a failure in identify formation, marked by the lack of sense of a future adult path • Moratorium – taking time out to explore various paths; Erikson believed this moratorium was crucial to building a solid adult identity

James Marcia − Identity Statuses • Marcia developed four different identity statuses that expanded on Erikson’s theory. • Diffusion – young people drifting aimlessly toward adulthood without goals. This compares to Erikson’s role confusion. “I don’t know what I want to do, nothing appeals to me.” • Foreclosure– young people who adopt an identity without any self-exploration or thought. “My parents want me to continue the family business, so that’s what I’ll do.” • Moratorium – young people who engage in exciting, healthy search for adulthood. This is often an internal process that can be anxiety-provoking due to the exploration of different philosophies and ideas. “Let me try this, that, and the other. How can I chose from so many careers in which I have an interest.” • Achievement – the end result where identity formation is complete.(“I know what I want to do with my life; I have found my calling.”)

Identity Statuses in Action • Marcia originally believed we move from diffusion to moratorium to achievement. • However, real-life identity construction tends to be more erratic, moving back and forth in statuses throughout adulthood. • These shifts are actually appropriate, helping to consistently rethink our lives, and review goals and directions. • One concern – some do not move successfully toward an identity search but find themselves stuck. • Moratorium in depth – carefully exploring your chosen profession and confirming it is right • The search for identity is not a universal developmental task but is affected by life circumstances.

Ethnic Identity • Ethnic identity – the sense of belonging to a specific ethnic category • Some develop dual minorities or reject one identity for another. • A more balanced focus is better – accepting and knowledgeable of personal heritage while being connected to the universal human community. • Challenges occur for biracial or multiracial adults. • Some may have difficulties connecting with one ethnicity vs. the other. • Some research indicates this struggle to make a connection with more than one ethnicity helps people think creatively about life.

Finding a Career • Pioneering research (Csikszentmihalyi and Schneider, 2000) indicates every teenager expects to go to college. • Most expect to have professional careers, regardless of gender or social class. • On the positive side, this ambition and high expectations can help teens avoid delinquent behaviors, depression, and dropping out of school. • On the negative side, many will not reach their ambitions due to barriers such as poverty, economic factors, etc. • One key to predicting a successful transition to a career is the teen’s interest in work (being productive) vs. those only interested in playing (avoiding work).

Personality Growth During Emerging Adulthood • Research suggest that personality changes the most in the person’s twenties. • Significant maturity develops, with more focus on weighing options and healthy decision making. • They see failures as life lessons, not inconsequential events. • Conscientiousness – a term developmentalists used to describe the maturing of the frontal lobe, which helps develop self-control

Finding Flow • Flow − feeling of being totally absorbed in an activity • Time flies by unnoticed • Marked by extreme intrinsic motivation • Occurs when there is the appropriate person−environment fit—an activity is highly challenging and yet matches abilities. • In activities beyond our capabilities, anxiety can occur; if activities are too simple, boredom can occur. • Flow can be a good predictor of potential careers.

Emerging into Adulthood without a College Degree • Two of every three U.S. high school graduates enroll in college. • However, by mid-twenties, slightly less than one-third (30.7%) have completed a four-year degree. • Those who do not complete college have difficulty constructing a middle-class life. • Those not attending college can have fulfilling careers, and often have other types of intelligence (practical or creative intelligence). Examples of these non−college graduates include Bill Gates and Woody Allen. • Great Recession of 2008 – 9% of college graduates unemployed in 2008 • One in four male high school graduates ages 16 to 25 were out of work.

So why do emerging adults drop out of school? • Not “college material” – uninterested in academics, poorly prepared in high school • Low-SES young adults are less likely to graduate from college than affluent peers. • Gates Foundation study found that the main reason for young adults dropping out of college was financial issues. • Most did plan to return. • If they don’t return, if they demonstrate good work ethic and are intelligent, they can find success.

Interventions Related to College • Giving economically strapped young people a boost • The respondents from the Gates Foundation study recommend the following: • Make it possible for part-time students to get financial aid • Offer more classes on weekends, evenings, and online. • Consider low-cost child care for student-parents. • Flexible work hours from employers • Other issues from a freshman study: • Being overwhelmed by the need to search for a job • Negotiating the maze of college • Not realizing the financial aid available • Not grasping additional expenses (e.g., parking, books)

Recommendations for dealing with college issues • Have a total ballpark costs for attending before enrolling • Have counselors/advisors to help incoming freshman • Change our emphasis on college as the only way to achieve success. • Focus on School to Work transition.

Rethinking emphasis on college as only ticket to a decent life • Problems with the U.S. approach: • Encouraging high school teens to identify a career track • Encouraging all to attend college, setting non−academically inclined kids up for failure • Limited focus on helping teens enter the work force • Some interesting alternatives: • Japan: Instead of there being a separation between what happens at school and work, employers develop relationships with schools and hire students who are recommended by the faculty. • The German plan: Instead of going to college, young people enter an apprentice program that guarantees a job in that field.

Career Search Tips

Making College a Flow Zone! • Interventions: • Get the best professors (and talk to them outside of class). Small classes, low student-faculty ratio; provide challenging and exciting classes. • Connect your classes to potential careers. Set up internships or research experiences with faculty. • Immerse yourself in the college scene.Try to live on campus or close to school; join organizations; if possible, avoid working long hours. • Capitalize on the diverse human connections college provides. Resist the tendency to pick one peer group, and instead try to connect to people of different perspectives.

Finding Love • Erikson's Psychosocial Stage • Intimacy vs. Isolation • Intimacy – the search for a soul mate or enduring love • Finding a mate is a Western value. • In other countries, finding a mate is primarily a family responsibility, although this may be changing.

Changes in finding a mate • Interracial/interethnic dating • Strong identification with racial group and/or ethnicity is a strong predicator to choosing a same-race/ethnicity mate. • Same-sex relationships are much more acceptable. • Homophobia (intense fear and dislike of gays and lesbians) is less common.

Growth of Interracial and Interethnic Dating • Dating outside your “own kind” has been daring in U.S. history • By the twenty-first century, one in three European Americans report being romantically involved with a person from a different ethnicity or race; in addition, more than one-half of African Americans, Hispanic Americans, and Asian Americans reported the same.

How does interracial/interethnic dating change a person? • People tend to become more tolerant of other cultures as opposed to less identified with their own. • Men reported being more sensitive to challenges facing minorities in America, which included educating friends and family who held racist views. • Others reported feeling more in touch with their own heritage.

More Acceptance of Same-Sex Romance • Significant advances in 15 years • No longer shunned and more acceptance • Gay rights movement begin in NY’s Greenwich Village in 1960s • However, most acceptance came in the first years of twenty-first century.

Still moving forward… • Homophobia (intense fear and dislike of gays and lesbians) still exists. • Most myths related to same-sex relationships have been debunked. (See next slide.) • Although there is more acceptance among society and with peers, coming out to parents may be more challenging.

Homosexual Stereotypes and Scientific Facts

Coming out to Mom and Dad • Most parents accept, love, and rally around their gay daughters and sons, after a difficult period of coming to terms with their child’s sexual orientation. • 4 percent of young people report parental rejection or verbal abuse. • Coming out is a gradual process. Most gay young people reconcile their own feelings, then tell a good friend, then tell families. (Most share with their families by age 19.) • However, each person’s situation is unique. Diversity of parent−child relationships is the norm. • Bottom line for gay emerging adults: It may not be as “bad” as you expect, but trust your gut instincts about how your parents will respond.

Murstein’s Structured Three-Phase Mate Selection Theory • Stimulus-Value-Role Theory 1) Stimulus Phase • We approach people who visually appear to fit us: “I think this person looks like we might mesh.” 2) Value Comparison Phase • Then as we date, we try to figure out whether we match up according to values. 3) Role Phase • Now we have decided that this is the one, and discuss our plans for our shared life. • Murstein suggested opposites do NOT attract. Matches are made based on Homogany(similarity). • Choices are often based on “ideal-self”–the person we want to be. • Relationships with family can also have an impact on mate choices.

Other Factors Affecting Relationships • Irrationality and Unpredictability • Adult Attachment Styles

Irrationality and Unpredictability • People in more enduring, happy relationships see their loved ones through rose-colored glasses (thinking they are unrealistically perfect). • Review of many research studies of regarding the dating years indicates several predicators: • Strongest predicator – being intensely committed to one’s mate • Idealizing your partner • Support of family and friends

The Impact of Personality: Adult Attachment Styles Based on Ainsworth’s infant attachment styles, Hazan and Shaver (1987) examined adult attachment styles. • Preoccupied/ambivalent (insecure) • Clingy; needy; over-engulfing • Avoidant/dismissive (insecure) • Withholding; aloof; distant • Securely attached • Joyfully able to reach out in love • Responsive to a mate’s signals • More likely to have happy marriages or be involved in enduring relationships

Do Attachment Styles Shift? Sometimes • Consider Ainsworth’s work to conceptualize adult attachment styles. • Preoccupied/ambivalent type – fall quickly and deeply in love but become needy and often feel rejected or unfulfilled • Avoidant/dismissive type – withholding, aloof, reluctant to engage • Securely attached type – fully open to love; give partners space yet feel firmly committed

Attachment Issues • Self-fulfilling prophecies help keep attachment styles stable. • Clingy people tend to be rejected more often. • Avoidant people tend to remain isolated. • A secure individual lives in an atmosphere of love. • Still, attachment styles can and do change. • Being in a loving relationship can make us secure. • After experiencing a traumatic love affair, we can temporarily become insecure.

Evaluating Your Own Relationship

Janet Belsky’s Experiencing the Lifespan, 3e