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So just in case you are wondering….

So just in case you are wondering…. Premarital Sex is okay if………. 1. It does not conflict with your:. A- IMPORTANT VALUES: if you have pre-marital sex, what do you value? B- MEASUREMENT STANDARDS: How would I feel about myself if I had/ am having sex as a teen. C- RELIGIOUS BELIEFS

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So just in case you are wondering….

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  1. So just in case you are wondering…. Premarital Sex is okay if………

  2. 1. It does not conflict with your: • A-IMPORTANTVALUES: if you have pre-marital sex, what do you value? • B-MEASUREMENT STANDARDS: How would I feel about myself if I had/ am having sex as a teen. • C-RELIGIOUS BELIEFS • D- GOALS: How will sex affect my goals A goal you have wanted to complete

  3. 2. You are prepared financially, socially and emotionally to handle any and all possible consequences including: • A- Pregnancy: without needing to depend on others for help with the outcome of it. • B- Emotional hurts • C- Guilt feelings • D- Social stigma: friends, family, society • E- STD’s • F- More risks… Are any of these worth that little moment? What would I do if I found out I or the girl was pregnant? What about if I had an STD?

  4. DECISION MAKINGCHOICES AND COUTCOMES OF TEEN SEXUALITY, PREGNANCY & PARENTHOOD Abstinence (legal) No Contraceptive Decision Get Married Raise child Sexual Decision Pregnancy Decision Parenting Decision 1.Pregnant 2.Not Pregnant 3.STD 4.No STD 5.Will affect your relationship. How? 6 Will affect you. How? Sexually Active ? (illegal) Use Contraceptives Yes Have Baby ? Keep Baby ? Yes No Pregnancy Yes Yes Yes Single parents And others Raise child Yes Yes No No Single parent Raises child alone Protected Sexual activity STD’s Abortion Adoption Pregnancy Sterility AIDS Possible Consequences Death Cervical cancer

  5. Decision Making Review 1. IDENTIFY THE PROBLEM *should I have sex at this point in my life? 2. LIST THE CHOICES: *Yes, with someone I love *No, not now. 3. LIST THE PRO’S AND CON’S OF EACH OPTION, INCLUDE CONSEQUENCES *Pregnancy, STD, AIDS, guilt, reputation, hurt family, lose self-respect, ruin relationship *Keep self-respect, not damage relationship 4. MAKE A CHOICE *Not making a decision is still making a decision. Continue thinking of consequences – are they worth it? 5. MAKE A PLAN *Avoid situations that make the funnel more slippery *Practice the refusal skills *If I or the girl get pregnant or we get an STD what will we do? 6. ACT ON THE PLAN 7. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE RESULTS OF YOUR DECISION *You want to do adult actions and make adults decisions? Act like an adult and take responsibility for what happens!

  6. 3. Absolutely no one stands to be hurt by it, including: A-You -your reputation: What if your fiancé asked if you were sexually active? -Your Future B-Your parents and other family members: Could you tell your parents? C-Any possible offspring: If your son or daughter asked if you had sex at their age, what would you say? D-Your sex partner. -Their future -Their reputation -Their family

  7. 4. You can and will feel good about it should you NOT marry that person. • What if this sexual relationship ends? What will I do? • What if you see the person years later. How would you feel? • How would you introduce him/her to spouse? To your children?

  8. 5. It is not just to satisfy: A- Physical urges. B- Curiosity C- Social and/or peer pressures for popularity and acceptance. -Is sex necessary to maintain this relationship? -Can I have a good dating relationship without having sex or being physical?

  9. 6. Is pre-marital sex right for anyone? Things to consider: 1.Age factors 2.Maturity Levels 3.Financal Security 4.Education Status 5.Emotional readiness for: parenthood, heart break confusion 6.Meeting all of the above guidelines Generally not high school students

  10. When Do I make the choice about being involved in pre-marital sex? Today would be good! SEXUAL REFUSAL SKILLS INCLUDE: Giving a reason for not wanting to be physically involved, using nonverbal signals with your words, suggesting alternatives.

  11. How can I avoid getting into a difficult situation? • Double or group date • Plan the activity beforehand • Avoid long times being alone together • Avoid being alone in the dark • Attend public and group functions • Think of your future • Use Sexual Refusal Skills • Use the decision making plan

  12. Is Today’s Want More Important than my Future? • “The chief cause of unhappiness and failure is sacrificing what is wanted most for what is wanted at the moment.”

  13. Prevention Behaviors for Young Women: • Know Your Sexual Limits. Don't wait until the "heat of the moment" to think through how far you do and do not want to go with your partner. • Be Assertive. State your limits clearly. Use words like STOP!, NO! and repeat if necessary. Move physically away from the person if possible. If necessary, walk away or get out of the situation. • Be Aware of Non-verbal Cues. Know that if you dress sexy and flirt, some men may think you want to have sex. This doesn't mean your dress or actions are wrong, but know that they may create misunderstanding. • Pay Attention to Your Surroundings. Trust your intuition. If you feel something is wrong, it probably is. Get out of the situation as soon as you can. • Avoid Excessive Use of Alcohol and Drugs. Alcohol and drugs cloud your judgment and make you unaware of what may be happening around you.

  14. Prevention Behaviors for Young Men: • Know Your Sexual Limits and Communicate Them. Be aware of sexual pressures to "score." It's okay to say no or to wait to have sex. • Being Turned Down is Not a Personal Rejection. Being turned down for sex doesn't mean your partner doesn't like you. It's much more a statement about her not feeling ready for sex at this time. • Accept a Woman's Decision. "No" means just that —No. Don't continue sexual pressure if a woman says no. • Don't Assume a Woman Wants to Have Sex. Even if she is wearing sexy clothing or has been flirting with you a lot, it doesn't mean she wants to have sex with you. • Avoid Excessive Use of Alcohol and Drugs. Alcohol and drugs cloud your judgment and are never an excuse for aggressive behavior.

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