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“Big Things” from Psalm 103 rsmarriage

“Big Things First” December 6, 2009 www.rsmarriage.org. “Big Things” from Psalm 103 www.rsmarriage.org. Today: ‘The Marks of a Mature Husband, Wife, Couple & Believer’

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“Big Things” from Psalm 103 rsmarriage

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  1. “Big Things First” December 6, 2009 www.rsmarriage.org

  2. “Big Things” from Psalm 103www.rsmarriage.org • Today: ‘The Marks of a Mature Husband, Wife, Couple & Believer’ • Dec 13: ‘Change in Life and Marriage: Friend or Foe?’ • Dec 20: Psalm 103 Couple Panel • Dec 27: No Class • Jan 3: ‘Take Dead Aim’ • Jan 10: ‘Are you Healthy?’

  3. Weatherproof Your Marriage   Downpour of Daily Duties - January 17, Mike Anderson Tornado of Parenting – January 24, Harv Powers Earthquake of Unfaithfulness – January 31, Mike Henshaw Tsunami of Finances - February 7, Mike Anderson Registration Lisa Ham lham@chcc.org
303.325.8428

  4. ‘Weatherproofing in Your Marriage’ Series • Our class and other married couples • 8 tables of 5 RSM Couples • Our Logo on our tables • Need 8 Table Leaders (Del Pontes, Hallinans, Greenwalds, Byars, Kellys, +3) • Training on Sunday, Jan 10th, 12:15 with lunch

  5. At Your tables • Intros, new couples • What 2 National news ‘Immature’ events happened in the last 2 weeks? • Tareq and Michaele Salahi • Secret Service • Tiger Woods • Josh McDaniels’ sideline language on national TV

  6. At Your tables • Who is the most immature person you know and why? • What is immaturity?

  7. What is Immaturity? • Behaviors, or lack of behaviors, that generally don’t reflect where others think you ought to be, given your age or your station in life……and my not reflect where you want to be, or who you really are. • Expectations of others who have a stake in your behavior----parent, employer, spouse, law enforcement, public, sponsors. And, others who question your priorities and principles. • A sense of being untimely, unripe, unseasoned, unaware of your surroundings, aiming carelessly. • Not accountable nor responsible---- emotionally, physically, mentally, socially, spiritually, sexually, etc.

  8. Immaturity Maturity • We are constantly changing, becoming more or less mature in various areas of life, depending upon whether we are drifting or taking aim. • Just as there is individual immaturity & maturity, consider that there is also husband, wife, couple and believer immaturity/maturity. • WARNING: Judging another’s immaturity in any area is dangerous. • 1Sam 16:7 “Look not on his countenance…for a man looks at the outside, but the Lord looks at the heart”. • 1 Corinthians 13- “we see in a mirror dimly” ; Phil 3- “Not that I have obtained it….”; 1 Cor 3- “off the milk of immaturity, and onto the solid food of maturity…”

  9. Again, At Your Tables • Who is the most mature person you have ever known and why? • Now, privately as an individual • In what areas of your marriage are you mature as a couple, and in what areas are you immature as a couple?

  10. Consider these Marks of Maturityin yourself and in your marriage The ability to control anger and settle differences w/o violence and destruction. Willingness to pass up immediate pleasure for long term goals and values. Perseverance in the face of opposition and setback. The capacity, through the Holy Spirit, to face unpleasantness and frustration, w/o continual complaint or ultimate collapse. Being big enough to say, “I was wrong”. So big, you don’t have to win every argument. And when right, needs not to experience the satisfaction of saying, “I told you so”. Working well and efficiently as a couple

  11. Consider these Marks of Maturityin yourself and in your marriage The ability to make a timely decision and stand by it--the immature spend enormous time exploring endless possibilities, then do nothing. Keeping one’s word. The immature are masters of the alibi. They appear confused, disorganized, and their lives are a maze of broken promises, former friends and unfinished business. Having a sense of priority and purpose. Evidenced more and more by joy, peace, love, kindness, selflessness, understanding, patience, realistic expectations.

  12. What about Faith Maturity

  13. Consider These “Spiritual” Immature vs. Mature Statements Good Christians don’t have pain or disappointment. God uses our pain and disappointment to make us stronger and seek Him God helps those who help themselves. God helps those who admit their dependence on Him God wants to make us happy. God wants to make us into the image of Christ Faith will help us always explain what God is doing, things work out Faith helps us stand under God’s sovereignty even when we have no idea what God is doing. The closer we get to God, the more perfect we become. The closer we get to God, the more we become aware of our own limitations and need for Him, which makes us humble, not proud Mature Christians have all the answers, and oh, how perfect we are! Mature Christians can wrestle honestly with tough questions because they trust that God has the answers Good Christians are always strong and never wither. Our strength is in admitting our weakness, and leaning on Him.

  14. 1. Trusts in God’s saving grace and believes firmly in the saving power, grace and mercy of Christ. 2. Exhibits a sense of personal well-being, security, and peace thru the indwelling of the H.S., and the work of Christ in everyday life. 3. Combines faith and life, integrating work, family, social relationships, thought life and habits. 4. Seeks spiritual growth through study, reflection, prayer, discussion with others. 5. Seeks to be part of a community of believers who give witness to their faith and support and nourish one another. 6. Holds relationship-affirming values of faithfulness, including commitment to the “One Anothers”, rather than nursing the disease of “immature pigitis” A Maturing Faith

  15. Where are you on“One Another” Maturity? 1.Love(agape) One Another --John 15:17 2. Encourage One Another --I Thess 5:11 3. Build up One Another --Rom 14:7; Eph 4:29 4. Admonish One Another-- Rom 15:14; Col 1:28 5. Comfort One Another --1Thess 4:18 6. Assemble Together w/One Another-- Heb 10:25 7. Bear One Another’s Burdens --Gal 6:2 8. Seek after what’s good for One Another -- 1 Thess 5:15 9. Be honest with One Another --Col 3:9 10. Show hospitality to One Another-- 1 Pet 4:9

  16. “One Another” Maturity, continued 11. Submit (Surrender) to One Another – Eph 5:21 12. Be at peace with One Another --1 Thess 5:13b 13. Be devoted to One Another in brotherly love (pheleo) Rom 12:10 14. Give preference to One Another in honor-- Rom 12:10 15. Clothe yourself with humility toward One Another -- 1 Pet 5:5 16. Show forbearance toward One Another --Eph 4:2 17. Accept One Another --Rom 15:7 18. Be kind to One Another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another --Eph 4:32;Col 3:13 19. Serve One Another --Gal 5:13; 1 Pet 4:10 20. Live and work as One with One Another --Rom 4:4-8

  17. Back at your tables, privately • Husbands, what are the marks of maturity you consider important in a wife? • Wives, what are the marks of maturity you consider important is a husband?

  18. Think about these Marks of a Mature Wifemostly from Proverbs 1. Respects and Seeks after God Prov 31:30; compared to a wife who does not: 5:6 2. Is Wise 14:1; 31:26; compared to an unwise wife 9:13;11:22 3. Honors her husband 12:4;31:11-12 compared to one who does not 12:4;19:13 4. Is gracious 11:6 compared to one who is ungracious 21:9;21:19 5. Faithful to her husband 31:10-13;31:3 6. Takes care of her home and her family, conducts business and works hard and diligently. See all of Prov 31 7. Loves her own husband Titus 2:4 8. Is a helper Gen 2:18

  19. 1. Kind and Compassionate 12:10 Eph 4:32; Col 3:13 2. A Servant and loves his wife sacrificially Ephesians 5:25 3. Hard-working 12:11;27:23-27 4. Truthful 12:17,19;29:24 5. Exercises Self Control 12:15;16:32 6. Gentle Tongue 12:18;15:14; James 3 7. Generous 14:21;28:27 8. Willing to be corrected and listens 12:15;15:12,31-32;28:13;29:1 9. Man of integrity 19:1;20:7 10. Faithful and reliable 17:17;29:3 11. Forgiving 19:11 12. Willing to Admit he is wrong 28:13 13. Humble 15:25,33;16:18-19; 18:12 14. Not contentious, peacemaker 17:1;18:1,19 15. Has control of his temper 14:29;16:32;17:27;29:11 16. Avoids Excesses 20:1;23:20-21,29-35 17. Concerned for others, especially the poor and repressed 29:7 18. Fears God and is obedient 13:13;14:26;16:20;28:25;32:30 19. Not jealous 27:4 20. Has a positive outlook on life 15:15;17:22;18:14 Think about these Marks of a Mature Husbandmostly from Proverbs

  20. 10 Road Signs that your marriage might be Maturing 1. You are a horizontal couple, integrating the stovepipes of your lives into the marriage, i.e., work, home, finances, parents, children… with unity and joint agreements…becoming more and more one, against all outside threats. Colossians 1:9-14 2. You increasingly understand God’s plan and purpose for your marriage, take dead aim at it with energy, and KEEP THE MAIN THING THE MAIN THING as you write your life and legacy, page by page. Colossians 3: 8-10; 12-14; Jeremiah 29:11-12 3. You are more and more stable in your faith, walk and ways. Eph 4:12-16 4. You are better day after day at being still and quiet, worshipping, praying and having an attitude of gentleness, honor and forgiveness towards each other. Psalm 4:4-5; 46:10; 1 Peter 3:7; Col 3:16 5. You increasingly understand and appreciate the difference between legalism, liberty and responsibility. 1 Cor 8; Romans 14

  21. 10 Road Signs that your marriage might be Maturing 6. You look for God’s hand in your marriage--past and future, and seek His face more and more. You accept His provision of your spouse, and re-commit to each other everyday. Nehemiah 1; 2 Chronicles 7:14; Proverbs 3:5-8 7. You more and more as a couple realize you don’t have the whole story, don’t know everything, don’t have, or have to have, a ready solution to every problem, and rely on each other, and the Lord for help through prayer, and work as a team. 1 Cor 13:9-13 8. You are as a couple becoming more and more interested in wisdom from above rather than hanging onto every piece of wisdom from the world. You are more and more interested in serving others outside yourselves. James 3:13-17 9. You are increasingly concerned with what you are full of---self (pigitis), substances, or the Spirit of God. Eph 5:15-21; Eph 4: 17-31; Gal 5:25 10. The two of you have a more and more accurate view of yourself and each other as a sinner saved by grace through faith, as well as recognizing the need for continual confession and repentance. You have a better and better understanding of what the Lord desires of you, how much God loves you through Christ. Psalm 51; 1 John 1:9

  22. Covenant between Israel and God No other Gods No graven image No Lord’s name in vain Remember the Sabbath Honor parents No murder No adultery No stealing No false testimony No coveting Covenant between Wife and Husband Exclusive loyalty Truthful/faithful Honor spouse in public/private Giving my spouse time, rest, honor Right relation with parents Freedom from hatefulness, destructive behavior and uncontrolled emotions Sexual faithfulness and controlled appetites True community of property, with the gift of privacy Truthful; no manipulation Contentment: freedom from demands, plus total acceptance, the other’s best interest, and “all-in” commitment Consider This:Marks of Maturity in Life and Marriage

  23. This week Share your lists…..couple, husband, wife marks of maturity Do an assessment of where you are against charts 21 & 22. Pick a few areas that seem the most important and begin maturing together.

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