Social Intelligence

Social Intelligence Ernesto Lozano Yukiko Namikawa Eric Gayton Jennifer Gonzalez Jennifer Fiorillo

Karl Albrecht defines Social Intelligence as the ability to get along well with others and to get them to cooperate with you.

How do you develop Successful Social Intelligence ?

Enter S.P.A.C.E. S.P.A.C.E is a simple model for describing, assessing, and developing Social Intelligence.

S.P.A.C.E. Five Dimensions:1. Situational Awareness2. Presence3. Authenticity4. Clarity5. Empathy

S.P.A.C.E. The “S” Factor in the S.P.A.C.E. model represents your Situational Awareness, a.k.a. your situational “radar.” “S” Stands for Situational Awareness

“S” Stands for Situational Awareness What is “Situational Awareness”? • Situational Awareness is your “Social Radar” • It is the ability to read a situation and to interpret the behavior of people in those situations in terms of their possible intentions emotional states, and pre deposition to interact.

“S” Stands for Situational Awareness • Proxemic Context: • Dynamics of physical space within which people are interacting. • Behavioral Context: • Patterns of action, emotion, motivation and intention that show up in the interactions among people who are engaged in a situation. • Semantic Context: • Patterns of Language used in the discourse, which signal the nature of a relationship, differences in status and social class, the governing social codes and the degree of understanding created or prevented by language habits.

S.P.A.C.E. “P” Stands for Presence The “P” Factor in the S.P.A.C.E. model represents Presence. It’s the way you affect individuals or groups of people through your physical appearance, your mood and demeanor, your body language, and how you occupy space in a room.

“P” Stands for Presence You have to have… Confidence Professionalism Kindness Friendliness You shouldn’t have… Shyness Insecurity Animosity Indifferent To get strong “Presence”….  We all need to pay special attention to the sense of presence we communicate.

“P” Stands for Presence Types of Charisma Official Charisma Earned Charisma Artificial Charisma

“P” Stands for Presence Building the Skills of Presence • Try to imagine when the experience of meeting you for the first time. • Ask one or more close friends about the first time they met you.

S.P.A.C.E. “A” Stands for Authenticity “The ‘A’ factor in the S.P.A.C.E model represents Authenticity. This dimension reveals how honest and sincere you are with people and with yourself, in any given situation.”

“A” Stands for Authenticity Taking A Tip From Popeye • “I yam what I yam and dat’s all what I yam.” • Popeye always stated, “I’m comfortable in my own skin. You’ll have to take me as I am.” • Maybe this unsophisticated fellow symbolizes the best in all of us: being Authentic.

“A” Stands for Authenticity It’s A Beautiful Day In The SI Neighborhood Authenticity is about the desire and ability to let yourself be real, not phony or contrived. Fred Rogers, also know as (Mr. Rogers) from Mr. Rogers neighborhood, personified the idea of being comfortable in your own skin. Do you have a Mr. (or Ms.) Rogers in your life? Could you be someone else’s Mr. or Ms. Rogers?

Authenticity does not only require being yourself; you must genuinely connect with others, which demands a fair amount of empathy and compassion. “A” Stands for Authenticity • It is possible to be well developed in “people skills” and lack the emotional depth to be considered truly socially intelligent. • While EI (Emotional Intelligence) and SI (Social Intelligence) are closely interwoven, they are not the same thing. The Snap On Smile: Can You Fake Sincerity?

Left-Handed Compliments “A” Stands for Authenticity • How to respond to a (LHC) • Letting the comment go by without response. • Confronting the toxic behavior and holding the individual accountable. • The “ambiguous” response. • Response: “Oh, thanks for saying so. I’ll pass on your encouragement. He’ll be pleased to know you have confidence in him.” Example: “It’s good that your son is interested in sports. He’s a little small for Little League, thought, don’t you think?”

“A” Stands for Authenticity Narcissism • Few of us are completely altruistic, and most of us are narcissistic to some degree. • In the terminology of social intelligence, narcissism or “malignant self love,” can be classified as a lack of Authenticity. • Narcissism can become pathological if it renders us incapable of engaging in two-way relationships of mutuality, sharing and support.

S.P.A.C.E. “C” Stands for Clarity The ‘C’ factor in the S.P.A.C.E model represents Clarity. This dimension measures your ability to express your thoughts, opinions, ideas, and intentions clearly.

C stands for Clarity • Do you say what you mean and mean what you say? • Do you speak too fast, too much, or not at all? • Do you use language skillfully? Using language as a strategic asset is a characteristic of a highly effective person.

C stands for Clarity Using The Right Language In The Right Situation • It is important to know who your audience is • It is also important to know your environment Keeping these things in mind will help you adjust your language so that it is appropriate and most effective

C stands for Clarity Sometimes Silence Works Best “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt” There are certain situations were saying less, accomplishes more

C stands for Clarity Clean Language & Dirty Language • “Dirty Language” include the kinds of statements and choice of words that can intimidate, offend, anger, alienate, or confuse others. • “Clean Language” uses more neutral verbal patterns and choices of words that invite empathy, open-mindedness, and the free exchange of ideas. 1. “That’s a stupid idea.” 2. “I disagree with your idea.”

C stands for Clarity Avoid using Verbal Bludgeons A verbal bludgeon is one of those aggressive, dogmatic, take-it-or-leave-it statements that makes the listener feel that he or she is being figuratively hit over the head with somebody else’s opinion, belief, or value judgment • “That’s a stupid thing to say” • That’ll never work” • You don’t know what you’re talking about”

C stands for Clarity The Power of Metaphor Metaphors provide you with an efficient way to write or talk in order to help people “get on the same page” (that’s a metaphor, btw). • Barking up the wrong tree • Connecting the dots • Studying our navels • Shot themselves in the foot

C stands for Clarity Building the Skills of Clarity • Study the way highly articulate people present ideas. Watch interviews and listen to conversations to identify the methods they use. • Take a diagnostic vocabulary test to assess the size and breadth of your working vocabulary. If necessary, get a book or web-based program to strengthen your use of words. • Collect clever and powerful metaphors and introduce then into your conversations. • Train yourself to illustrate your ideas with sketches, cartoons, or diagrams.

S.P.A.C.E. “E” Stands for Empathy “The ‘E’ factor in the S.P.A.C.E model represents Empathy. This dimension invites you to look at how truly aware and considerate you are of others; and their feelings.”

“E” Stands for Empathy Empathy is defined as a state of positive feeling between 2 people, commonly referred to as a condition of rapport. In the context of social intelligence, the sense of connectedness inspires people to cooperate. This leads a person to move towards and with you, rather than away and against you.

What destroys Empathy? • Toxic behavior • Idea killing “E” Stands for Empathy What restores and builds Empathy? Nourishing behavior Idea selling

“E” Stands for Empathy The 3 A’s: Attentiveness Appreciation Affirmation The Golden Rule vs. The Platinum Rule The “Stone-Face Syndrome”

“E” Stands for Empathy Some tips for practicing Empathy Empathy in 4 minutes L = Listen E = Empathize A = Ask P = Paraphrase S = Summarize

In Conclusion: S = Situational Awareness is your situational radar and your ability to empathize with people in different situations. P = Presence is the way you affect individuals or groups of people through how you occupy space in a room. A = Authenticity is how honest and sincere you are with others and yourself. C = Clarity is being able to express yourself effectively. E = Empathy is how truly aware and considerate you are of others and their feelings.

Social Intelligence