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Reality

Reality. Conducting Coaching. Jane Stubberfield. Objectives. By the end of this session you will be able to: Explain the importance of helping the person explore their current reality Describe the process of exploring the person’s current reality

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Reality

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  1. Reality Conducting Coaching Jane Stubberfield

  2. Objectives By the end of this session you will be able to: • Explain the importance of helping the person explore their current reality • Describe the process of exploring the person’s current reality • Identify powerful questions to ask in exploring the person’s current reality

  3. Why explore the person’s current reality • Because of the way we filter information, each person has their own perception of situations • They will delete, distort or generalise information that is coming to them • Exploring how this has happened in their particular situation will enable the person to consider how the problems are being created • It will help the person take responsibility and learn • This will lead to better options for moving forward

  4. Information to explore about current reality

  5. Strategies/ habits • We develop strategies / habits for everything we do • These are useful because they mean that we don’t have to constantly think about what we are doing, they run unconsciously • Many of these are developed when we are young

  6. Strategies /habits cont… • E.g. you will have developed a strategy for handling a situation where someone is angry • These strategies will depend on the context in which you find yourself in, for example you may have one strategy for when a close friend is cross and a different one when it is your boss.

  7. Changing strategies /habits • “Once you want to change, habits can be a problem. You are a giant, you have tremendous strength, but lots of little habits can keep you tethered in place like the ropes that bound Gulliver in the book ‘Gullivers Travels’. He woke up on the beach tied down by hundreds of very thin ropes tied by very small people. He was strong enough to break any single rope, but hundreds of them held him fast. He was helpless, and we may feel the same in the grips of our habits” (O’Connor, J. and Lages, A., 2004, Coaching with NLP, Element)

  8. Triggers • Our strategies / habits are triggered by certain things that we see, hear, touch, feel, taste or smell and the situation in which we are in. • E.g. it may be that when you hear your boss talk in what you consider a cross voice you slip into a particular way of reacting. • If someone wants to work on changing their relationship with their boss, it would be important to discover what triggers particular behaviours when they are with their boss.

  9. Inductive learning

  10. Deductive learning

  11. Learning in coaching • In coaching, the learning is largely inductive learning • For that reason you will want to take the person to one specific example of the situation they want to change • Help them find the new ways of thinking about that, or new strategies to use in that situation • Then help them to generalise out the learning from that to other similar situations

  12. Information to explore about current reality

  13. Example questions to explore the current reality • What is happening? • Can you describe one occasion where this happened? Take yourself there as if it were now • What is going on? • What is the feeling that you have? • What was it that is happening that triggered that feeling? • What are you seeing, hearing, touching, tasting, smelling when that feeling started? • What do you do as a result? How do you behave as a result? • When, in similar situations, do you not react like that?

  14. References O’Connor, J., and Lages, A., 2004, Coaching with NLP, Element

  15. This resource was created by the University of Plymouth, Learning from WOeRk project. This project is funded by HEFCE as part of the HEA/JISC OER release programme. This resource is licensed under the terms of the Attribution-Non-Commercial-Share Alike 2.0 UK: England & Wales license (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/uk/). The resource, where specified below, contains other 3rd party materials under their own licenses. The licenses and attributions are outlined below: The name of the University of Plymouth and its logos are unregistered trade marks of the University. The University reserves all rights to these items beyond their inclusion in these CC resources. The JISC logo, the and the logo of the Higher Education Academy are licensed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution -non-commercial-No Derivative Works 2.0 UK England & Wales license. All reproductions must comply with the terms of that license. • ©University of Plymouth, 2010, some rights reserved Back page originally developed by the OER phase 1 C-Change project

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