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Editing Your Personal Narrative

Editing Your Personal Narrative. Grammar: Fragment. A fragment is a sentence without an independent clause. If a sentence starts with a subordinating conjunction, it is probably a fragment. “If nobody else wants the last slice of pizza.” “When everyone is busy doing grammar.”.

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Editing Your Personal Narrative

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  1. Editing Your Personal Narrative

  2. Grammar: Fragment • A fragment is a sentence without an independent clause. • If a sentence starts with a subordinating conjunction, it is probably a fragment. • “If nobody else wants the last slice of pizza.” • “When everyone is busy doing grammar.”

  3. Grammar: “and” “but” or “because” • And we all had a great time. • But the Falcons won anyway. • Because Mr. Thompson grades really hard.

  4. Grammar: Comma Splice • A comma splice is the mistake of linking two independent clauses using only a comma. This is a common way that students create run-ons. • How can you fix this sentence: • “The Braves need to win tonight, they should send the second baseman back to the minors.”

  5. Grammar: items in a series • Separate words, phrase, or even clauses in a series by using commas. • How can you fix this sentence: • “The Gators need more touchdowns fewer turnovers and better play-calling if they want to make it to the SEC championship this year.”

  6. Grammar: direct address • Cedric, if a sentence names the person to whom it is talking, it requires a comma. • How can you fix this sentence: • “Nick will you please do your grammar without me having to ask every day?” • How can you fix this sentence: • “You need to have your homework in on time Payton.”

  7. Grammar: Quotations • When quoting someone, use a comma like this between your lead-in and their words. • How can you fix this sentence: • Dr. Richie said, Come out and cheer for the Trojans this Friday at The Frank.

  8. Grammar: Capitalization • Title Case • Proper nouns • First word in sentence

  9. Grammar: Italicizing • Italicize the title of any book, movie, newspaper, magazine, CD, or play that you mention.

  10. Tense • This is a personal narrative based on a memory, so your tense should probably be in the past for all things

  11. Homonyms • Homonyms are words that sound alike, but they have different meanings. • Their, there, they’re • To, two, too • For, four • Here, hear • Where, wear

  12. Introduction • BEST--Author introduces the characters, setting, and tone very effectively. There is a hook to start the paragraph. • Who are your characters? • What is your setting? • What tone have you set? • Do you have a hook? • OK--Author introduces some information, but the reader must make assumptions or discover important information later. • WORST--Author does a poor job of introducing important information to the reader, and the reader is left confused.

  13. Body • Each part of the story progresses the action and adds to the tone. There are no repetitive actions. • Read each body paragraph by itself • Is the action important? • Is the action clear? • Is the action boring? • There may be some parts of the story that don’t move the story, but it is all clear. • The body does not add detail, tone, or move the story along. The body may be sparse or confusing.

  14. Conclusion • There is a clear conclusion that wraps up the author’s purpose in telling the story and goes beyond. • What is the purpose of your essay? • How does the reader know that? • What is the conclusion? How does the story wrap up or go beyond? • There is a clear conclusion that wraps up the author’s purpose in telling the story, but it does not add insight beyond the story. • There is no clear conclusion.

  15. Style • BEST--The author’s style is unique and fun to read. The author uses sentence variety, word variety, action verbs, and vivid descriptions. • Can you combine two simple sentences? • What are some ways you started sentences to make variety? • Can you change any be verbs to action verbs? • OK--The author uses sentence and word variety, but the overall style is plain. • WORST--The author often repeats words, only uses simple sentences, uses too many “be” verbs, and makes the overall style unremarkable.

  16. Style: Adverbs • Adverbs that only intensify are really and totally useless: • “I really like Twilight a lot.” • “My dad was extremely mad.” • “My best friend is super interesting.” • “My girlfriend got extra emotional.” • Here are some well written examples: • “Halloween is eerily fun.” • “My childhood bedroom was sparsely decorated.”

  17. Style: similes and other comparisons • Similes and other comparisons can be an entertaining way to add description: • “An intensifying adverb is like putting racing stripes on a Saturn; it doesn’t make the car go faster, just look stupider.” • “I was more excited than a bride on her wedding day when the new Iron Man movie came out.” • “My dad used to skip church because he thought it was more boring than math.”

  18. Spelling/Grammar • BEST--Makes 2 or fewer mistakes. • OK--Makes 4 mistakes. • WORST--Makes 6 or more mistakes.

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