Effective Communication at Work: Achieving Results & Enhancing Relationships

1. Effective Communication at Work: Achieving Results & Enhancing Relationships With Dr. Janet Mills

2. A good example of a bad example

3. People have memories—and mouths • People happy with you • People unhappy with you

4. Three stages of interaction • Greeting

5. Three stages of interaction 2. Transaction

6. Three stages of interaction 3. Parting

7. 4 Things people want from YOU 1. Attention

8. 4 Things people want from YOU 2. Acceptance

9. 4 Things people want from YOU 3. Assertion

10. 4 Things people want from YOU 4. Appreciation

11. 1. Attention S = face person SQUARELY O = Adopt an OPEN posture L = LEAN forward slightly E = Maintain EYE CONTACT R = RELAX

12. 1. Attention

13. Lousy listeners

14. 1. Attention Verbal Following Mary was a sensible and giddy young lady, wise and silly beyond compare. She was a slight and small creature, yet so large that everyone who knew her loved her. She felt rather lonely, because she lived in a Townwith no other houses or people for miles around.

15. 1. Attention Multi-channel Nonverbal Following Percent of impact in face-to-face comm: • Verbal = 8% • Facial = 54% • Vocal = 38%

16. 1. Attention Multi-channel Nonverbal Following

17. 1. Attention Back-channeling

18. 2. Acceptance Affirm the Nature of the Relationship • Hierarchical indicators Who’s up? Down? • Immediacy indicators How close or far? • Basic respect “I see you” • Earned respect High esteem

19. 2. Acceptance Developing and Maintaining Rapport • Posture echo • Vocal echo • Interaction synchrony

21. 2. Acceptance Responding Verbally to Accept Messages • Paraphrase ideas • Paraphrase feelings • Express empathy • Prompt and probe • Summarize

22. Defensiveness The NUMBER ONE PROBLEM in communication at work

23. Defensiveness

24. 3. Assertive & supportive communication Focus on problems Not people

25. 3. Assertive & supportive communication Be congruent Not incongruent Ver Verbal comm Nonverbal comm Thoughts & feelings Match these!

26. 3. Assertive & supportive communication Be descriptive Not evaluative

27. 3. Assertive & supportive communication Validate Don’t invalidate

28. 3. Assertive & supportive communication Be specific Not global

29. 3. Assertive & supportive communication Be conjunctive Not disjunctive

30. 3. Assertive & supportive communication Own your Don’t ►Deny what you’ve said ►Blame others for what you did ►Stuff your feelings ►Ignore what you want ►Forget your needs ►Statements ►Actions ► Feelings ► Wants ► Needs

31. 3. Assertive & supportive communication Make it two-way Not one-way

32. Assertive Skill 1: Clear Message Format Use to: • State a complaint or problem • Request a change of behavior, policy or procedure • Express hopes, wishes, desires

33. Tool 1: Clear Message Format Elements: • Describe • Interpret • Express/Own • Consequences • Intentions

34. Tool 2: Responding to feedback that is ON TARGET Use: To respond non-defensively to feedback that is accurate and true

35. Tool 2: Responding to feedback that is ON TARGET Elements: • Listen actively • Acknowledge your error or fault • Seek more information • Create plan for positive action • Appreciate the other

36. Tool 3: Responding to feedback that is OFF TARGET Use: To respond non-defensively to feedback that is inaccurate or untrue

37. Tool 3: Responding to feedback that is OFF TARGET Elements: • Listen actively • Fog the criticism • Assert • Appreciate

38. 4. Appreciation Forms of appreciation

39. Dr. Janet Mills Thank you!