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Love, Lust, and Liquor

Emily Nagoski enagoski@smith.edu Wellness Education Director Smith College. Love, Lust, and Liquor. Outline. How Sex Works How Alcohol Works What Alcohol Does to Sex Maximize Good. Minimize Bad. What they didn’t teach you in high school. How Sex Works. How Sex Works.

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Love, Lust, and Liquor

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  1. Emily Nagoski enagoski@smith.edu Wellness EducationDirector Smith College Love, Lust, and Liquor

  2. Outline • How Sex Works • How Alcohol Works • What Alcohol Does to Sex • Maximize Good. Minimize Bad.

  3. What they didn’t teach you in high school. How Sex Works

  4. How Sex Works The four phases of sexual response orgasm resolution plateau arousal

  5. Sexual Physiology:the Dual Control Model • Sexual Excitation System – the “gas,” responds to sexually relevant stimuli in the environment • Sexual Inhibition System • SIS-I – “handbrake” the chronic, trait-level inhibitory tone • SIS-II – “footbrake” the inhibitory system which responds to threats in the environment • People have different levels of SIS and SES, just like they have different eye colors.

  6. Think you know? How Alcohol Works

  7. “the pleasure plateau” The Bi-Phasic Effect Alcohol is a CNS “depressant” First it turns off the breaks Then it turns off the gas “the zone of regret”

  8. 1-2-3-4… Six Stages of Intoxication

  9. Judgment Stage 1: Buzzed

  10. “the pleasure plateau” Buzzed Sex “First it turns off the brakes” • Decreased SIS • Affectionate • Arousable • Happy • For those with high SIS, orgasms become easier. • Diminished decision-making

  11. Social Intelligence Stage 2: Euphoria Judgment

  12. Euphoric Sex • Further reduced SIS • Easier erections for some men • Easier orgasms for some women • Further impaired judgment • Loss of fine motor coordination • Physical appearance • Flushed • Glassy eyes • Smiling • This is as intoxicated as you can get without negative sexual side effects

  13. Motor coordination Social Intelligence Stage 3: Drunk Judgment

  14. Drunk Sex “Then it turns off the gas.” • “Whiskey dick” sets in (a.k.a., alcohol induced erectile dysfunction) • Orgasm delayed in both men and women • Seriously impaired decision-making (legally unable to give consent) • Seriously impaired coordination (condom wrapper, anyone?) “the zone of regret”

  15. Motor coordination Social Intelligence Hammered Stage 4:Stupid Drunk Judgment Sensory Coherence Shitfaced Trashed Wasted Completely fucked up

  16. Stupid Drunk Sex • Obliterated decision making – you should not be left alone • Seriously reduced sensation = seriously reduced sexual response • Appearance • Drooping eyelids ≠ “bedroom eyes” • Skin pale, clammy • Face slack

  17. Motor coordination Social Intelligence Stage 5: Stupor Judgment Sensory Coherence Memory Creation

  18. Stupor Sex • You can’t have good (any?) sex at this stage • You definitely can’t give consent • You definitely can’t get consent

  19. Motor coordination Social Intelligence Stage 6: Coma, Death Judgment Sensory Coherence Balance, breathing, heartbeat, unimportant things like that. Memory Creation Not being able to breath is very bad for your sex life. Never get this drunk, okay?

  20. Mmmmmh, decisional balance… Maximize Good, minimize Bad

  21. You: avoidblackouts,hangovers, and embarrassment • Food: • Proteins and fats (Pizza! Cheesesteak! Yum!) before you drink • Carbswhile you drink • Water • Stay hydrated • Pace drinking • Decide ahead of time how much you want to drink, and plan accordingly. • If you’re too drunk to drive, you’re too drunk to…

  22. You and Your Friends • Work out a plan before you start drinking. • Who’s driving/staying sober? • Who does/does not want to get laid? • How are you getting home? • Friends don’t let friends sleep away from home. • Seek medical care if : • Your friend vomits more than once, or vomits while unconscious • Your friend’s breathing is shallow • Your friend’s lips or nails are blue

  23. You and Your Partner • Limit 1-4 drinks, depending on weight, gender, and speed of drinking. • If going out, decide (and alternate!) who will be sober. • Make sure somebody has a condom/dam. • For het couples: Emergency Contraception in case your original contraceptive method fails. • Effective up to 5 days after unprotected intercourse

  24. Questions? The Endenagoski@smith.edu

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