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Editing & Polishing Your Study. Post-Graduate Research Module. Asking for Feedback. Focus on areas you with which you need help. I tend to use a lot of run on sentences. Would you help me watch out for those? Please let me know where you think my writing is a bit choppy. Giving Feedback.
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Editing & Polishing Your Study Post-Graduate Research Module
Asking for Feedback • Focus on areas you with which you need help. • I tend to use a lot of run on sentences. Would you help me watch out for those? • Please let me know where you think my writing is a bit choppy.
Giving Feedback • Remember the gentle and honest approach • The content is fine...if you catch those run-ons your message will be clearer. • You have great things to say. Try varying your words a bit to get those ideas out a little more vividly. Here are some ways you could do that.... • Provide balanced (positive and negative) comments.
Conferring • Focus on editing drafts of 2 peers. • Look for: • sentence level issues such as spelling, • punctuation, • word choice • “Could you try varying some of your word choices? Perhaps you can use the word ‘speedy’ instead of ‘fast’?”
Run-On Sentences • When a sentence has too many ideas together it is a Run-on Sentence. • A run-on sentence is really two or more sentences in one. • Example: • Murray takes the train Mom rides the bus. • Murray takes the train Mom rides the bus.
So What is a Sentence? • Subject + Verb + complete idea = sentence • Subject is a person, place or thing doing something (an action) • Verb is the action • Complete idea...completes the thought • Example: • Ihitthe ball. • I hit the ball. (The reader doesn’t wait for another word) • * the ball is a direct object. (Not all sentences have a direct object like – Birds fly.)
How to fix ...run-on sentences INCORRECT Carmen loved traveling in Italy she felt Rome was too hot. • Method 1 • Write the two independent clauses as separate sentences using periods. • CORRECT • Carmen loved traveling in Italy. She felt Rome was too hot.
How to fix ...run-on sentences • Method 2 • Use a semicolon to separate the two independent clauses. INCORRECT Carmen loved traveling in Italy she felt Rome was too hot. • CORRECT • Carmen loved traveling in Italy; she felt Rome was too hot.
How to fix ...run-on sentences • Method 3 • Use a comma and any one of the following connecting words: • for* and nor but or yet so** • *when for means because • **when so means as a result INCORRECT Carmen loved traveling in Italy she felt Rome was too hot. • CORRECT • Carmen loved traveling in Italy, but she felt Rome was too hot.
How to fix ...run-on sentences • Method 4 • Use a semicolon and one of the following words: • therefore, • thus, • however, • consequently, • furthermore, • also, • nevertheless, INCORRECT Carmen loved traveling in Italy she felt Rome was too hot. • CORRECT • Carmen loved traveling in Italy; however, she felt Rome was too hot. NOTE: When using semicolons, the two independent clauses must share a related or common idea. You cannot write the following sentence. Christine loves hot chocolate; I am watching TV. These two clauses are completely unrelated.
Fixing run-on sentences...practice: • Americans shake hands when they meet the Japanese bow. • Titanic is my favorite movie I love eating popcorn. • Mother's Day is always on a Sunday Thanksgiving is always on a Thursday. • My car broke down I need to buy a new one.
1st Peer Conference • Look for sentence fragments • Look for run-on sentences. • Use these notations to show them • RS = Run-on • F = Fragment
2nd Peer Conference • Check for verbs using an active voice • Which sentence do you like more? • He baked the cake. • The cake was baked by him? • Mostly likely you picked number....2 .....why? It makes your writing lively. • Source: My English Grammar. Retrieved October 1, 2007 from http://www.myenglishgrammar.com/english/lesson-16-active-and-passive-voice.html
2nd Peer Conference • Active voice: The verb is in the active voice when the subject does the action A cat ate the fish. Verb: ate Object: fish • Passive voice: When action is done to the subject, the verb is in the passive voice. The fish was eaten by the cat. Verb: eaten Subject: cat Notation: P/V = passive voice This writing is much clearer.
3rd Peer Conference • Check for several things listed below • Verb tenses are consistent. (VT= verb tense) • She planned a trip and pays for it. • No sentences repeat the same idea. • I learned about English when I was very young and found it strange. I thought the sounds of English were strange when I first heard them as a child. • Vocabulary is clear and varied. • Use strong verbs • I went to the store. • I trotted to the store. • Pronouns have clear referents. ( Pronoun =Pn) • She and her friend went to her party. (whose party was it?)
Receiving Feedback • Observe the feedback given by your peers. • Ask for clarification as you need to. • Adjust your study. • Polish your piece any other way you can think of...
Extra Resources... • Should you want a hand with specific writing issues here is a great site: • http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/general/#effective • For issues like: • Adding EmphasisConciseness: Methods of Eliminating WordinessNon-Sexist Language • Paragraph • Paragraph (length consistency) • Sentence Variety • Strategies for Improving Sentence Clarity • Transitional Devices (Connecting Words) • Using Metaphors in Creative Writing
Congratulations • You made it through!
