Qualifications in Marriage

1. Qualifications in Marriage

2. Qualifications in general For a successful marriage it is very important to have the following compatibilities: Age Education Culture Profession Piety

3. People differ in charactersitics Having certain characteristics do make marriages easier: Calmness Dialogue Listens before talking Mutual respect

4. Qualifications in Islam • Is when the man is equivalent to the women • Piety, progeny, freedom, job..etc... are things they considered at the time, which related to their culture and time. • Some scholars only considered piety in: • Piety • Job • Wealth • Freedom • Ethnicity

5. Note Scholars speak of marriage qualifications when discussing who suits the women, not who suits the man from women.

6. Ruling on qualifications Are we obligated to consider qualifications?

7. Are qualifications obligatory to have in a marriage? • Some scholars do consider that it’s a condition in a valid contract • The others said, its not a condition, if mutual consent is there, unless he was a فاجر (someone that exposes his illicit behavior) • IN BRIEF: scholars had 3 different opinions: • Its only considered in religion and piety • That it depends on mutual agreement • Its part of validates a contract. • NOTE: all really agree that it depends on mutual consent, but have different words for it.

8. Those that say its only considered in religiosity and piety depended on the following evidences: • All Muslims are equal, and the best depends on his piety. As in the ayat, and hadiths. • عبد الرحمن بن عوف got his sister married to Bilal.

9. Those that considered that its based on mutual consent depended on the following evidences Marriage in general is based on mutual consent, which includes these qualifications. And qualifications differ based on culture and environment, and is left for people to set its place. They said the least Islam considered was piety, all the rest is left for people to consider and seek. What Islam is against is considering other qualifications over piety, such as degree over piety. Mutual equivalency in qualifications is left for people to consider

10. A hadith to consider The wife of ثابت بن قيس بن شماس came to the prophet peace be upon him and said: “oh prophet of Allah, I do not complain of ثابت بن قيس in behavior or piety, yet I fear to be as a kafir in my Islamhood life. The prophet peace be upon him then said: “will you return his garden to him, she said: Yes! The prophet peace be upon him then said: accept her garden, and divorce her once.” in another narration she said: “I cannot stand him”. In another narration: حبيبة بنت سهل was married to ثابت بن قيسand he was an ugly man, she said: if it wasn’t for fearing Allah, when he came to me, I would have spit in his face.”

11. Another hadith A virgin woman came to the prophet peace be upon him, and complained that her father got her married to a man she hated, and the prophet peace be upon him gave her the right to choose. رواه أحمد وأبو داود وابن ماجة والدارقطني

12. A woman changing history for Muslim women A woman came to the prophet peace be upon him, and said: my father has gotten me married to his nephew to uplift his triviality . The prophet peace be upon him, then gave her the full power of attorney to herself, and she said: I have given consent to what my father had done, but I wanted women to know that they fathers do not have the right to force them”.

13. Choosing from amongst other people with different qualifications فاطمة بنت قيس came asking the prophet peace be upon him for advice for several men that came to ask for her hand in marriage and they were: معاوية، أبو جهم، أسامة بن زيد. The prophet peace be upon him said: معاويةis empty handed, and is with no money. Abu Jahm beats women. Go for Osama.

14. preponderant There is no contradiction between saying that these qualifications are based on mutual agreement, or that they to be there in a valid marriage contract. Peoples lives changes, and its left for them to look for what makes a more successful and more comfortable life for them. People have different habits and behaviors. People vary in their manners, cultures..etc.. Life styles change and people may require new things based on the situation change. In the end, if both sides agree on each other, that’s the most important thing that matters. A waliy’s rejection will be evaluated by the judge or court to make sure it is for the girls benefit.

15. Keep in mind Majority of the scholars do not give the woman the right to personally choose and get married by herself, and gave the woman the right to object the marriage if her waliytakes advantage of her. Therefore, no marriage can take place without her consent. She can choose the person she is interested in, and get married through her waliy. If the waliy rejects, the reason is researched. If the reason is valid, the contract will not take place. If the reason is not valid, the judge will have the marriage done despite the waliy’s disapproval.

16. The considered qualifications The most important qualifications that scholars have considered are: progeny, piety, job, freedom (not slave), free from any cripples, wealth. Some scholars add: knowledge, beauty.

17. piety • Marriage between Muslim women and non Muslim men is totally forbidden as in the ayah الممتحنة، 10 and surah Albaqara 221 • Piety means not a non practicing Muslim, such as drinking, commits zina (adultery or fornication) • قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: «إذا جاءكم من ترضون دينه وخلقه فزوجوه إلا تفعلوا تكن فتنة في الأرض وفساد كبير» • The wisdom behind not approving a فاسق (non practicing Muslim) • He will not consider Allah’s regulations in dealing with women • Generally, a Muslim is supposed to not befriend a فاسق non practicing Muslim, as they may affect them.

18. What about an innovator? Scholars have said: a Muslim should not support any innovators innovation, and therefore marriage and dealing with them is part of support. IbnTaymiya said: the plain Shia are astray, and a Muslim man should not have his daughter married to a Shia, if a man marries a Shia, the marriage is valid, if there was hope that she would repent, and its best to leave getting married to them.”مجموع الفتاوى 32/ 61

19. progeny Scholars from Shafi’e, Hanbaliconsiderd certain ethnicities such as Arabs, Persians..etc as of a higher progeny. But this really has no evidence and is based on culture. Which is why the Maliki scholars have denied all that and considered it depends on piety. What is important is piety, and any ethnical preference has no evidence, as in the ayah يا أيهاالناس إن خلقناكم من ذكر وأنثى وجعلناكم شعوبا وقبائل لتعارفوا إن أكرمكم عند الله أتقاكم

20. wealth Hanafis do consider, wealth as an important factor in qualifications. Majority of scholars do not consider wealth, since it doesn’t necessarily always last. Yet, the scholars that considered it, depended on the hadith that the prophet peace be upon him had told فاطمة بنت قيس not to marry معاوية due to his poverty. Those that have considered wealth to be part of the qualifications, also differed in the amount, should it be capability to pay the dowry, or live a wealthy life. They then split wealth into categories, poor, middle, rich.

21. Qualification in job This matter was dependent on culture, which is why they discussed its details based on their life matter. The details they used to consider were the jobs that were considered low class jobs or middle class jobs, or high class jobs. Its left for culture.

22. Handicapped or diseases • Although scholars agree that each party must inform the other of a certain illness that may harm their life, certain illness are more required to be mentioned esp. those that: • Relate to the harmony of their marriage life, such as bad breath. • Affects directly their marriage life, such as infertility • Scholars do go in details about the different diseases that are considered to be a good reason for divorce, but all that is left for both sides and how they can handle or not handle it. • And is even left for the culture and medical complications that it may lead to. • Some of the things they considered are: skin diseases, STD, even height, sight, hearing, or other diseases.