Chapter 6 Skills for Exploring Thoughts and Narratives

1. Chapter 6 Skills for Exploring Thoughts andNarratives Bro. Theodore

2. Skills for Exploring Thoughts • Overview • Restatements • Open Questions and Probes about Thoughts • Closed Questions • Disclosures of Similarities • Comparison of Skills for Exploring Thoughts • What Do You Think?

3. Skills for Exploring Thoughts • The World is made up of stories, not atoms—Muriel Rukeyser

4. Rationale for Exploring Thoughts andNarratives • Hill Argues that when clients come into a helping situation, we as helpers need to hear what their problems are so that we can figure out how to help them. 149 • Narrative therapy is based on the assumption that people are story telling creatures. The purpose is to explore the narrative and bring it out. 150 • The purpose of pastoral counseling is not for the helper to be entertained but for the helper to assist the client to think deeply about his/her concerns. • The primary skill of this chapter to help explore thoughts and narratives are restatements and summaries. 151

5. Restatement and Summaries • Restatements are repeating or paraphrasing of content of what (meaning) a client has said. 151. • Turn to page 151 Exhibit 8.1 and let’s clarify what we are trying to do with restatements. • “You want to be an effective helper” • “Your parents are breaking up” • “To summarize, you seem clearer on what you would like to do about attending the wedding”

6. Summaries • Summaries, a kind of restatement, tie together several ideas or pick-out the highlights and general themes of the content expressed by the individual. • Read third paragraph 152 (summaries)

7. Why Use Restatements and Summaries? • Rogers, argued that helpers need to be mirrors or sounding boards. It allows the clients the opportunity to hear how they are thinking without judgement. • It allows the helpers to put their listening into words and gives them the opportunity to be involved in the helping process. 153 • Restatements are used to check out the accuracy of a situation. • Most people spend time talking about their thoughts. Talking about feelings may be threatening. • Summaries are elongated restatements.

8. How to us Restatements and Summaries • Restatements allow the client to focus and talk in more depth about what is troubling them. Clues for determining what to focus on is in what the client focuses on most. • What the client seems to have the most involvement in talking about. 154 • The helper tries to capture the essence of what the client is trying to say and focus on one thought at a time. • Restatement should be on the client’s thoughts. Effective restatements, keep the focus on the client.

9. How to Restate? • Helps people explore more deeply without having an agenda. • Reduces the repetitive nature of restatements: 155 • I hear you saying. • It sounds like… • In listening to you, I hear you… • Review Example of Restatement, 156

10. Difficulties Helpers Experience in Restating • Awkward and Stilted 157 (I feel heard) • Sounds like parroting-use the same format over an over again • The cutting edge. • Some helpers feel frustrated because they are not giving the client specific answer. • Remember this is their story. This is their song.

11. Open Questions and Probes about Thought • Open questions serve several purposes: • Rambling Repeating themselves, it helps clients to focus 160 • 2. Open question good way to get clients to think about what they are trying to say • 3. Open questions let you probe for thoughts, e.g., Tell me more, or What was that like for you…158

12. Open Questions for Thought and Probes • How to ask open ended questions: Exhibit 8.2 • Make sure they are short and simple…be careful not to ask too many questions: What were you doing? What did you do next? What did you mean by that? • Open questions should keep the focus on the client, e.g., What did you feel about your mother’s behavior, instead of …What did your mother do in this situation. • Tell me you memories about that.

13. Open Questions for Thought • Helpers should avoid the why question. • Why questions are difficult to answer and may put client on the defensive. • Why questions may make the client feel that you are judging them. Example Why didn’t you study, What was going through your mind when you were trying to study. • Open and Closed Questions. 164

14. Closed Questions about Thought • Usually require one or two word answer (yes or no) • Important but limited role • Closed questions used for clarification. • Most use close questions because of familiarity • How to transform closed to open questions, 168

15. Overview of Disclosure of Similarities • Exhibit 8.5

16. Summary • Restatements help clients hear what they have been saying and enable them to clarify and expand. • Individuals feel that helpers are listening when they use this skill. • Open questions and probe about thoughts directly ask the client to explore more. • Closed questions ask for specific information. • Disclosures and similarities can help clients feel that they are not the only ones who have ever faced difficulties and can be effective if the focus is quickly returned to the client (occasionally-sprinkled)

17. Summary • Restatements used to keep the process going. • Open Questions and probes about thoughts when the individual needs more direction. • What do you think? 172