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A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Larry?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'
Larry watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter, asked Larry 'Giving up?'
The math teacher saw that Larry wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, 'Larry! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?' Larry quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!'
Larry's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him. Larry asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"
Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Larry asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Larry, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom ...'
If this brightened your day, don't let it stop here. Pass it on with a smile. Keep spreading the cheer! Pass on to your friends
1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.3. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.4. Their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.5. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.6. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand? OnLY IN GREAT BRITAIN
7. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.8. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.9. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.10. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.11. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.12. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared. OnLY IN GREAT BRITAIN
13. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.14. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.15. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.16. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.17. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.18. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night. OnLY IN GREAT BRITAIN
13. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.14. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.15. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.16. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.17. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.18. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night. OnLY IN GREAT BRITAIN
19. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.20. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.21. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.22. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.23. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore OnLY IN GREAT BRITAIN
A professor at CCNY for a physiological psych class told his class about bananas. He said the expression "going bananas" is from the effects of bananas on the brain.
Never, put your banana in the refrigerator! !! This is interesting.After reading this, you'll never look at a banana in the same way again... Bananas contain three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber. A banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy. Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes. But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit.It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet..
Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier. PMS: Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood. Anemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.
Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke. Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school ( England ) were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.
Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives. Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system. Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief. Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.
Mosquito Bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation. Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system. Overweight: And at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and chips. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.
Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a "cooling" fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers.. In Thailand , for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.
Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance.. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be re balanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack. Strokes: According to research in The New England Journal of Medicine, eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%.Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!
So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, "A banana a day keeps the doctor away!"
PS: Bananas must be the reason monkeys are so happy all the time! I will add one here; want a quick shine on our shoes?? Take the INSIDE of the banana skin, and rub directly on the shoe...polish with dry clot
