German-American host-family project

1. German-American host-family project American and German Communication – verbal and nonverbal by Alan Russell and Carmen Ellermann

2. Communication – verbal and nonverbal Hello! Guten Tag!

3. Communication – verbal and nonverbal Key Findings

4. Communication – verbal and nonverbal Directness

5. Communication – verbal and nonverbal • Americans think of themselves as direct (and compared to many cultures they are), but Germans are generally even more direct, leading to perceptions of them as opinionated, blunt, and brusque know-it-alls

6. Communication – verbal and nonverbal • Besides direct “yes” and “no” responses to direct questions, Germans also use direct contradictions and “must” and “should” more frequently

7. Communication – verbal and nonverbal Critical questions

8. Communication – verbal and nonverbal • Intellectual criticism is central in German speech • Germans perceive Americans as being defensive about criticism of American policy and culture • Americans perceive Germans as pessimistic

9. Communication – verbal and nonverbal Discussions

10. Communication – verbal and nonverbal • Germans love to discuss just about anything, especially in the public arena. From their perspective the way to solve a problem is to totally understand it • Americans prefer a “Don’t tell me the problem, tell me the solution” approach • German discussion is usually quite serious, whereas Americans often use humor

11. Communication – verbal and nonverbal Conversation vs. Unterhaltung/Gemütlichkeit

12. Communication – verbal and nonverbal • Sitting around and talking for hours is a way for Germans to get to test their knowledge, become better informed, and get to know each other • Americans may sit in a living room with the TV or a video on which can seem a sign of poor education or outright ignorance to a German

13. Communication – verbal and nonverbal • Long discussions can cause Americans to perceive Germans as perfectionistic and tedious • American value creativity and imagination and tend to jump around in conversations, leading Germans to view them as superficial and simple

14. Communication – verbal and nonverbal ‘Complaining’

15. Communication – verbal and nonverbal • When two Americans meet they often use small talk as a way of trying to find what they have in common which can serve as a basis for further conversation and a deepening of the relationship • This search for common ground is important in a land of immigrants, a land with a loosely linked, diverse mass of people

16. Communication – verbal and nonverbal • German society is more ethnically homogeneous and well established, so there is less need to seek information about the other individual, so complaining has become a social ritual and a way to establish a sense of commonality and social solidarity • Through complaining together and about the same topics, the speakers are implicitly communicating that they belong to the same group and thus share a common view and common interests

17. Communication – verbal and nonverbal Nonverbal communication Vocal quality Germans are more willing to use their tone of voice to express negative emotions (anger, frustration, etc.), whereas Americans use their tone of voice to express happier, positive feelings Silence/pauses are longer in German speech. Germans view this as being thoughtful, but Americans are not as comfortable with this

18. Communication – verbal and nonverbal Nonverbal communication Distance Germans have a smaller personal Space bubble than Americans. This manifests itself in such ways as: • Passing by someone without acknowledging them (which Americans see as being rude) • Sharing a restaurant table with strangers

19. Communication – verbal and nonverbal Nonverbal communication Facial expression and eye contact While both Germans and Americans value direct eye contact, Americans do not maintain the eye contact for as long. The German views the American as being untrustworthy, whereas the American views the German as being too intense American smiles are an indication of politeness, but German smiles are a sign of real affection

20. Communication – verbal and nonverbal American communication • Americans do not like: • Interruptions (speaking-replying-speaking) • Extensive descriptions and allusions to history or books ( impatience) • Topics (not to be discussed unless you know the people well): money, how much one earns family religion

21. Communication – verbal and nonverbal Americans like: • Communication as a search for information, asking questions is very common and meant in a polite way (asking person is interested) “There are no stupid questions!”, asking is important • Direct answers (“No”) is done without embarrassment b/c it is only an information • Think that time is limited and tasks must be accomplished, language favors direct, clear communication (simple and factual sentences)

22. Communication – verbal and nonverbal • Rely less on people inferring meaning from other information (such as status of speaker or the surroundings) • !Americans expect everyone to communicate in a similar way ?! • Do not expect subtle clues and indirect message and therefore are not accustomed to them • Respect in conversations (expect to be treated the same)

23. Communication – verbal and nonverbal Good topics to be discussed: • The weather • One’s commuting experience/ cars • Classes and jobs • Sports • Music/movies • Fashion, shopping and clothes

24. Communication – verbal and nonverbal Interaction: • An American principle: equality guides interaction among individuals and informs how businesses, organisations, and officials treat people • Style of interaction is informal, more casual students address each other by first name Authorities address each other with formal title Difference to Germany: university students can address professors wíth first name, very informal (unthinkable in Germany)

25. Communication – verbal and nonverbal How this fits into the orientation framework

26. Communication – verbal and nonverbal • Since communication is going to be a key skill in resolving issues in ALL the other areas, having a common basis for communication between the host family and the hosted student is absolutely imperative

27. Communication – verbal and nonverbal • For the student, some generalizations about communication differences should be introduced during the Pre-Departure Orientation (when there are students going to many different countries present) • At the gateway orientation (which is country specific), it can be discussed in further detail • Specific examples and further details should be part of the arrival and post-arrival orientations

28. Communication – verbal and nonverbal • For the host family, these topics should also be discussed as early in the hosting cycle as is practical.

29. Communication – verbal and nonverbal Important Learnings

30. Communication – verbal and nonverbal • Differences in communication style/practices – both verbal and non-verbal – can be real roadblocks to understanding and can impede the integration of the hosted student into the culture. It can also impact the acceptance of the student by his/her host family • Being flexible may not be sufficient, it is also important to have some knowledge of the differences in communication style/practices.

31. Communication – verbal and nonverbal Final Thoughts

32. Communication – verbal and nonverbal An American speaker at a conference was fielding questions following his presentation. A series of penetrating questions came from several Germans present. They became increasingly intent as the American became less sure of himself. He looked more and more like bait for some very hungry sharks.

33. Communication – verbal and nonverbal A German friend offered a different perspective. He thought the presentation had been good but that there had been some gaps. When asked about the loss of face for the presenter, he said people were socially obligated to get to the truth, but not necessarily to save face. From his perspective, those questions signaled interest, not rejection.