Your N egotiation S tyle

1. Your Negotiation Style Aim: To learn about negotiation styles , recognize situations and make a choice .

2. Every day we interact with people and are part of a situation. Did you realize the interaction was a negotiation or was it one of those situations which seemed , at the time, to be something else / a conversation, an argument, a debate, a fight/?

3. Let’s watch a movie about Tom’s story. Some new expressions from the video • cajole the kids to get up, eat breakfast and leave for school; • hop in a taxi; • a scheduled meeting with the boss; • kick up a fuss; • bite one’s tongue;

4. While watching the movie, try to remember or write down every interaction in it. Movie

5. Arrange the story 6 1 4 5 8 7 3 2

6. Find the verbs that express interactions. Interactions shown in the video • Tom cajoled the kids to get up, eat breakfast and leave for school; • Tom persuaded the taxi driver to take him down Main street instead the Second Avenue; • Tom persuaded the boss to give him a small raise; • The boss convinced him to work over the weekend until the end of the year; • Tom persuaded the cable TV provider to give him a cheaper cable package;

7. Interactions shown in the video • They discussed where to eat; • He decided to avoid mentioning his new work schedule; • The babysitter wanted $15 per hour, Tom was about to suggest $12 but Lisa paid $20.

8. Can you give a definition of negotiation? However, when our interactions involve elements of trying to obtain something from the other; when we are trying to convince or persuade the other; when we are trying to engage in an exchange of something other than conversation with the other – there is, indeed, an element of negotiation in the interaction. The more central these elements are to the interaction, the simpler it is to say “Yes - this is a negotiation.”

9. How could we identify interactions with parents, brothers or sisters / siblings/, classmates, teachers, friends? Are they negotiations?

10. One reason we don’t readily identify many situations as negotiation interactions is because we have different names for them. Here are a few examples: • We don’t negotiate with our spouse; we “get along”, or “work things out” with them • We don’t negotiate with our kids; we “parent” or “educate” or “raise” or even “discipline” them.

11. We don’t negotiate with our co-workers, we “collaborate” with them when things go well; or, we need to “smooth-things over” with them when they don’t. • We don’t negotiate with our friends, we “decide” or “argue” or “discuss” or “disagree” with them. • We don’t negotiate with our students, we “teach” or “educate” them. • We don’t negotiate with our employees, we “manage” them.

12. What does it mean? When we act in a reactive mode , this is your instinct! Act – React! Give examples! There are situations when we • act from the gut • go with the flow • shoot from the hip Is it the instinct or choice we’ve made? Explain!

13. Sentences to consider • I don’t like to confront others. • While negotiating - I tend to focus on my own views and needs. • It’s important to gain more than the other party in a negotiation. • I like to feel that me and the other party are working together on something shared. • I don’t want the other side to think I’m a sucker. • I’m willing to make concessions in order to save • my relationship with another party.

14. I want the other party to feel satisfied with the negotiation’s outcome. • I try to negotiate without giving in on anything. • I often feel that I make concessions in negotiations, while the other party makes none. • When money is on the table, I try to find a quick way to split it with the other. • I enjoy turning opponents into partners • Whenever I can, I ask someone else – a spouse, a friend, a family member, an employee - to negotiate on my behalf.

15. Negotiation styles different points disagreement be contradictory be opposition clash fight do battle The ways in which people manage situations of conflict can reflect how they negotiate. In general terms there are five different styles of managing conflict: • avoidance • competition • accommodation • compromise • collaboration. • Most people use two different styles, but tend to favour one. Are you able to identify the style of negotiation you tend to use? What is conflict?

16. Avoidance • Can be useful when there is an imbalance of power. • Used by some people to provide time to consider their position. • Others use it to defuse further conflict. • In most situations little or nothing is achieved.

17. Competition • Sometimes called ‘hard positional bargaining’ because one person takes a stand on the outcome. • Can often result in one or both people focusing on what they want, rather than preserving a relationship or considering the needs of the other. • If one person begins with an extreme position, it can result in only giving small concessions within the negotiation.

18. Accommodation • The opposite of the competitive style, sometimes called ‘soft positional bargaining’. • Main interest for this person is that they can see the other party finds a solution that is satisfactory. • The negotiator using this style tends to hope their position will lead to a better relationship. • Can reinforce the power imbalance in the relationship and means it is more difficult in the long term to change the status quo.

19. Compromise • Often used to resolve a stalemate, so both people can move ahead. • People using this style may say “Let’s just split the difference”. • This style may still result in mistrust and doubt. • Relies on both parties keeping their side of the bargain. • In this style, somebody has to give up something of value in order to get something of value. Usually this means each side tries to get as much as possible while giving up as little as possible.

20. Collaboration • Often thought of as ‘the sum is greater than its parts’ by people using a collaborative approach. • Also called interest-based negotiation, resulting from human needs, and often based on values and beliefs. • This approach allows each person to look for a solution which is the best for all concerned. • Can only work if both parties are willing to examine each possible option and choose one that gives what they need rather than what they want.

21. Let’s go back to Tom’s story!

22. What is your negotiation style? You are thinking only of the profit you might make and not about the problems you might create. These are the characteristics of a sheep. Always challenge a first offer! You want to sell your yacht and you know that you would be very fortunate to get as much as £225 000 for it. While you are considering placing the advertisement, a keen yachtsman approaches you and offers £250 000 in cash immediately for your boat. Do you: • A. Accept his offer without further ado? • B. Tell him to wait until the boat is advertised? • C. Haggle? How crazy can you get? His offer is already more than you were hoping for and to delay a decision by sending him out of your sight is foolhardy – he might see another boat on the way back to his car. This is the stubborn characteristic of a donkey. Absolutely right. No matter how good the first offer, haggle; he might offer even more (the choice of a fox) and, anyway, he will be happier with the boat if he thinks he squeezed the boat out of you at his price (the sure touch of an owl, if you thought through these consequences of the problem).

23. No. An abject surrender which you will spend the rest of your married life sheepishly trying to justify to your partner. Good. Start boldly and work down if you have to. Your boss will respect your courageous assertiveness eventually. A move for clever foxes. • You have been working only three weeks in a new job as a shipping agent in Baltimore, USA, and had planned to get married on Friday 18 August (which you did not disclose at the job interview). Your ‘intended’ spouse expects a proper honeymoon vacation of at least a week in Bermuda. It's now 16 August and you ask your boss for leave for the wedding day and for the vacation. She is visibly not happy with your request and asks stiffly how long you were ‘thinking of being absent’. Do you reply: A. The wedding day only? B. Two weeks? C. Three days? Weak. She will squeeze a sheep like you to a weekend in Newark, New Jersey.

24. Reflection Share one negotiation situation you’ve experienced, and discuss it using some of the terminology and concepts discussed in this presentation material. Thank you!

25. Materials • The materials have been taken from the course ‘Negotiation’ by Noam Ebner. • The images have been taken from Internet.