Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects

1. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects How to Identify Personalities and Deal with Potential Problems

2. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • Most cavers enjoy each other and the sport of caving.

3. Grassy Cove Saltpeter Cave, Tennessee

4. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • Most cavers get along in large groups...

5. Baltimore Grotto Pumpkin Hunt, Franklin WV

6. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • And in small groups, where teamwork is required to solve difficult problems.

7. Baltimore Grotto Pumpkin Hunt, Franklin WV

8. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • Cavers not only spend time together for long hours on survey trips…

9. Surveying in Memorial Day Cave, Germany Valley, WV

10. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • But also on vertical trips…

11. Cass Cave, WV

12. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • And on other projects.

13. Gating Apex Cave, Germany Valley, WV

14. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • They also spend a great deal of time living together between trips.

15. Breathing Cave Survey, Gangsta Mappers, Bath County, VA

16. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • When everyone gets along, the time spent is a joy and makes the time spent away from home like time spent with a second family. • However, there are times on some cave trips or cave projects in which difficult cavers are involved.

17. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • In this presentation, personalities described by the authors of Dealing with People You Can’t Stand: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worstare described in the context of caving situations and problems. • Next, essential communication skills will be reviewed. • Then, steps for dealing with difficult cavers will be covered. • Last, suggestions for dealing with yourself when you are difficult will be offered.

18. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • What are some examples of difficult cavers who might be found on cave trips or projects?

19. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • What are some examples of difficult cavers who might be found on cave trips or projects? • Overbearing members of trips or projects who either want to extend a survey into the wee hours, abandon a survey with one station to go, push a trip too fast with tired or inexperienced members, etc., all without taking into account the other members’ needs or wishes (The Tank)

20. Mohlers Cave, Cave Hill, Grand Caverns, VA

21. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • What are some examples of difficult cavers who might be found on cave trips or projects? • Cavers who always know everything in caves and on projects. They know every detail of every story, and all of cave and karst geology. They insist on lecturing you, and are impatient when you don’t know. They also have a low tolerance for correction and contradiction(The Know-It-All Caver)

22. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • What are some examples of difficult cavers who might be found on cave trips or projects? • Cavers who are inappropriately rowdy during caving down times, demonstrating sexually inappropriate, assaultive, or dangerous behavior while intoxicated, or who are using serious substances in public (The Grenade)

23. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • What are some examples of difficult cavers who might be found on cave trips or projects? • Cavers who promise to complete tasks because they want to please everyone, but can never get around to the tasks, typically because they are overwhelmed with all of the other tasks they promised everyone else they would do (Yes Caver)

26. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • What are some examples of difficult cavers who might be found on cave trips or projects? • Cavers who consistently bring inappropriate guests into caves at the wrong level for them. Examples include bringing preschool children with little supervision, bringing non cavers unconcerned about cave conservation, or bringing unfit cavers on grueling trips (Maybe Caver)

27. No Karst Cave, Germany Valley, WV

28. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • What are some examples of difficult cavers who might be found on cave trips or projects? • Cavers whose caving skills are novice level and whose social skills are such that they cannot take direction so that either they are in danger or the cave could be compromised (Nothing Caver)

30. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • What are some examples of difficult cavers who might be found on cave trips or projects? • Cavers who on caving trips never cease talking and “whining” about every terrible thing that has happened to them, responding to every suggestion with an excuse why it wouldn’t work and making the trip miserable (Whiner)

32. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • What are some examples of difficult cavers who might be found on cave trips or projects? • Cavers who on caving projects or on cave trips just say “No, it can’t be done”; “That’s not right”; or “That won’t work” no matter what the suggestion is (No Caver)

34. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • Regardless of what the problem is, many times the remaining cavers prefer to suffer in silence rather than do or say anything that improves the situation. • This could be because it is difficult to know what to say without hurting feelings or creating more problems. • However, there are things to try to help diminish problems with difficult cavers.

35. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • What to do when encountering difficult behaviors • You can stay and do nothing • You can leave (walk away) • You can change your attitude about the difficult caver • You can change your behavior

36. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • Understanding the behavior—motivations • Get the task (project, trip) done • Get the task (project, trip, life) done perfectly • Get along with others • Get appreciated by others

37. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • Getting it done • The overbearing caver or surveyor (The Tank) rolls right over those standing in the way of getting it done—nothing personal • The non socially skilled caver (Nothing Caver) is motivated by doing the task, not how it is done or his or her effects on others • The Know-It-All Caver controls people by dominating conversations with lengthy arguments and eliminates opposition by finding flaws to discredit other views • Others are eventually worn down

38. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • Getting it done perfectly • Whining cavers believe they are powerless to create change in their lives, and abandon all thought of solutions, yours or theirs • The No Caver is certain nothing will go right, and is intent to give up now • Yes Cavers may also be motivated by perfection, creating an impossibility for completion of projects

39. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • Getting along with others • Maybe Cavers bringing inappropriate guests are more motivated by the approval of their friends than of the cavers they are with • Yes Cavers seek approval and avoid disapproval by trying to please everyone • The Grenade or alcohol using caver that gets out of hand was originally motivated by an attempt to fit in and get along, but finds he or she is unable to accomplish the task

40. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • Getting appreciated by others • Yes Cavers (non finishers) take on projects in the hope of being appreciated for their hard work • Extreme behavior cavers (The Grenade) are “appreciated” by standing out in the crowd • The Know-It-All specializes in lengthy authoritative lectures, advice, and unsolicited opinions in search of appreciation for being the authority on the subject

41. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • Summary • Behavior becomes more controlling when the intent to Get it Done is thwarted • Behavior becomes more perfectionistic when the intent to Get it Right is thwarted • Behavior becomes more approval seeking when the intent to Get Along is thwarted • Behavior becomes more attention-getting when the intent to Get Appreciation is thwarted

42. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • Communicating with the “Get it Done as top priority” caver • Let them know you recognize that “getting it done” is their priority • Keep your communications with them brief and to the point • Don’t obstruct them except as necessary using the skills to be described

43. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • Communicating with “The Tank” caver • Hold your ground • If attacked, interrupt by repeating their name • Quickly backtrack to the main point • Aim for the bottom line—no extras • Give them the last word under your conditions

44. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • Communicating with the “Know-it-all Caver” • Be prepared with knowledge/material • Backtrack respectfully • Blend with doubts and desires • Present views indirectly • Turn them into mentors

45. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • Communicating with the “Get it Right as top priority” caver • Let them know you recognize that they value perfection • Pay a great deal of attention to the details of your communication with them • If it’s a task, be specific about the problem behavior

46. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • Communicating with the “Whiner” • Listen for the main points • Clarify the problems • Empathize without trying to solve problems • Minimize conversation or change subject to something positive—caving • Don’t try to share your own problems

47. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • Communicating with the “No Caver” • Go with the flow • Use them as a resource (“What can be done?”) • Leave the door open • Go for the polarity response • Acknowledge their good intent

48. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • Communicating with the “Get Along with Others as top priority” caver • Show you care with friendly chit chat and considerate communications • This will increase cooperation and decrease misunderstanding

49. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • Communicating with the “Yes Caver” • Make it safe to be honest • Talk honestly • Help them plan • Ensure commitment • Strengthen the relationship

50. Dealing with Cavers You Can’t Stand: On Trips and Projects • Communicating with the “Maybe Caver” • Establish and maintain the comfort zone • Make conflicts surface, clarify options • Use a decision-making system • Reassure, and then ensure follow through • Strengthen the relationship