Building our Resilience CASA Conference October 2018

1. Debi Grebenik, Ph.D, LCSW Building our ResilienceCASA ConferenceOctober 2018

2. Introduce each other and the afternoon

3. Permission Slips What do you need to give yourself permission to do? To be fully present? To be vulnerable? To challenge your beliefs? To learn?

4. You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep others warm.

6. The Importance of this Topic This is a critical discussion because: • It’s a marathon, not a sprint. Youth need you to hang in for the long haul. • Before you are experienced enough to be any good at this, you don’t want to be too burned out to do it well. • We do not build “widgets”; rather, we are the tool. If we are not healthy, we do harm.

7. Importance…. • The outcomes of those we serve depend, in large part, on our ability to deliver the service in a reliable, healthy manner. • We deserve to be happy and to thrive, too!

8. Integrity Issue • You can’t sustain taking care of others, if you are not taking care of yourself. • It’s wrong for us to ask you to take care of other people’s families, if we don’t let you take care of yourself or your own family. • We believe in the parallel process of systems where each layer of the system must have their needs met to meet the needs of others. • Self-care is NOT a luxury, it is an ethical imperative.

9. Care for the caregiver You cannot provide trauma-informed care while you are actively being traumatized yourself.

10. You can’t walk through water… …without getting wet. The work will affect you: • Burnout • Compassion Fatigue • Secondary Traumatic Stress • Vicarious Traumatization

11. Signs to look for: • fatigue • illness • cynicism • irritability • reduced productivity • feelings of hopelessness • anger • despair/depression • sadness • feelings of re-experiencing the event • nightmares • anxiety • avoidance of people and/or activities • persistent anger and sadness • Basic notions of safety, trust, esteem, intimacy & control are challenged • Worker’s view of self, others and world are disrupted • Too little or too much sleep

12. Vicarious and Secondary Trauma • These symptoms have cumulative effects that accrue over time • They are normal in short term, but harmful in long term

13. Personal Risk Factors • History of personal trauma • Personally identify with the victim • Negative personal circumstances (e.g., grief due to recent loss) • Low levels of social support • Low sense of control over life • Lack of meaningful personal relationships Baird & Kracen, 2006; Nelson-Gardnell & Harris, 2003; Regehr et.al., 2004

14. Building Resilience Developing the capacity to bend, but not break. We can intentionally build resilience to offset the effects of long term stress exposure on the brain and body.

15. Resilience is the ability to bounce back or return to normal functioning after adversity.

16. Strength, Meaning & Pleasure Resilience is made up of: • Strength: knowing you can survive. • Meaning/purpose: knowing there is a reason to survive another day. • Pleasure: knowing you can enjoy life deeply. Dr. Galen Buckwalter

17. Resilience-building thoughts Although challenges in life are a reality, so is pleasure. When challenges come, and the stress of life seems overwhelming, we can still experience strength and purpose. Eventually, pleasure will return. Dr. Galen Buckwalter

18. The good news… resilience and wellbeing can be practiced and learned.

19. Top 10 ways to promote resilience and wellbeing

20. Ensure your care and wellbeing The health and wellbeing of individual caregivers determines the health and wellbeing of the caregiving environment and the quality of caregiving received by youth.

21. Resilience relies on your primary needs being met. • The 3-legged stool: • EAT: Good nutrition • MOVE: Adequate exercise • SLEEP: At least 7 hours of good sleep each night *Reference: Tom Rath: Eat, Move, Sleep

22. Wellbeing Practices Take care of your mind, body and spirit.

23. Keep your appointments for preventative health

24. Go to bed

25. Spend time in nature

26. Move your body

27. Discharge

28. Support your spirit Seek activities that instill beauty, comfort and joy.

29. 10. Ensure your care and wellbeing • Caregiving Environments: allow helpers to meet their basic needs to ensure their own wellbeing. • Caregivers: prioritize and ensure their own wellbeing by eating well, moving well and sleeping well.

30. 9. Internalize a sense of mastery and control The best way to predict your future is to create it. -Abraham Lincoln

31. Create your life Personal mastery goes beyond competence and skills… it means approaching one’s life as a creative work, living life from a creative, as opposed to a reactive, viewpoint. -Brendan Baker

32. Be clear on your own life’s purpose. Why are you on the planet? What is the special gift you bring (e.g., what is your superpower)? What is your ‘why’? How can you best use this gift to create good in the world?

33. Internalize a sense of mastery and control Living a life of purpose and meaning fosters hope.

34. Internalize a sense of mastery and control • Caregiving Environments: be clear on the mission and the purpose of the organization so that all caregivers feel a part of the vision they are trying to achieve and their role in achieving it. • Caregivers: be clear on your own life’s purpose. Why are you on the planet? What is the special gift you bring (e.g., what is your superpower), and how can you best use this gift to create good in the world?

35. 8. Practice compassion Compassion is made up of gestures or words of caring, kindness, and support expressed towards self or others intended to relieve suffering. -Leigh Tremaine

36. Compassion Compassion is a way of life, an attitude, that can be intentionally cultivated by practicing these acts in small ways each and every day. -Leigh Tremaine

37. Self-compassion Self-compassion is giving ourselves the same kindness and care we'd give to a good friend. -Kristin Neff

38. Practice compassion • Caregiving environments: caregiving environments that practice compassion demonstrate flexibility and allowances for people to be fully human. They understand that people are sometimes struggling, and need support and permission to be their whole, authentic selves (employees, caregivers, and clients). • Caregivers: self-compassion is giving ourselves the same kindness and care we'd give to a good friend.

39. 7. Cultivate gratitude

41. Half full?

42. Five Minutes A Day… Create a daily practice of reflection, feeling grateful for benefits, pleasures, and love you experience every day.

44. KEY TO JOY Practice gratitude A front made of love and a back built of courage

45. True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness. True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are, it requires you to be who you are.

46. Cultivate gratitude • Caregiving Environments: find ways to express appreciation for the work of caregivers and those they serve. • Caregivers: create a daily practice of feeling grateful for benefits, pleasures, and love they experience every day.

47. 6. Expect and learn from mistakes Mistakes are inevitable, and if they are not tolerated, they are hidden, which is dangerous to the organization.

48. It’s not the end of the story… This is not the end of the story, it’s only the middle. In the end, it will be okay, if it’s not okay, it’s not the end. Working through challenges builds trust and character.

49. Use mistakes as opportunities to learn. No shame. No blame. Only learning and correcting course.

50. Mistakes View mistakes as “par for the course” and opportunities to get even better or to correct your path and is part of being human.