Writing assessment…

1. Writing assessment… Grab a copy of the paragraph examples from the side shelf. These are paragraphs written by you and turned in yesterday. Read the examples and decide which is the strongest/best persuasive paragraph of the 4. Tell why it is in the margins of it.

2. Example 1 “The Long Exile” is a classic journey due to the element of its trials. Aksenoffirst starts his quest by going to the fair. That next day he was on his way. Half way there he got stopped, questioned and accused of murder. The night before he was with a merchant. This morning the merchant was found dead. The knife used to kill the merchant was in Aksenof’s bag. From that, he goes to prison, then to a mining camp in Siberia. These are all steps of a journey. “That means good luck. See, I am going now” (806). That means the beginning. Twenty six years later his journey is over. “When the orders came to let Aksenof go home, he was dead” (811).

3. Example 2 Aksenof is young and innocent. He goes on a trip to the fair and it takes a turn for the worst. His wife doesn’t want him to go because he always had a drinking problem. His wife tells him not to go because she thinks he’s going to get hurt or something bad will happen. “You head was all gray, I’ve dreamed misfortune befell you” (806) This means he will come back home with bad luck. This is why his wife didn’t want he to go. All Aksenof did was laugh thinking everything would be fine. Soon enough he’s on his journey and then is falsely accused of a murder. He is found with the knife and assumed to be the murder. Everyone, even his wife thinks he’s done the deed. Once that happens he realizes no one is there for him, so he turns to God as a last resort. He become a very holy man while imprisoned. Then the man who actually killed the man that Aksenof was accused of killing was imprisoned as well. Aksenof knows it was him because he describes Aksenof’s room that night. The man begs for Aksenof’s forgiveness. Aksenof then says “God will forgive you; maybe I am a hundred times worse than you are!” (808) He has come to the realization that his journey is over.

4. Example 3 Like in all journeys, “The Long Exile’s” real reason for the quest has nothing to do with Aksenof’s stated reason of going to the fair. After “finding religion” in prison he is faced with the decision of whether to forgive the man who has caused all his woes at which time he proclaims: “God will forgive you; maybe I am a hundred times worse than you are” (811). His statement which so greatly resembles the verse, “judge not least yea be judged” marks his true finding of religion. Until this point he has spoken the words but his anger and frustration indicate that he does not live them, now he is at peace and has completed his journey.

5. Example 4 “The Long Exile” is a classic journey as proven by the trials. “Aksenof w sentenced to be knouted and then to exile with hard labor” (808). The consequences for murdering a man were whipping and exile in a Siberian work camp. The trial stated on page 808 was being falsely accused of murder and then having to endure the pain of a criminal act for 26 years. “Aksenof never received any letters from home” (808). Aksenof had to face a trial of loneliness once his family forgot about once his family forgot about him. He never heard from them again. Aksenof’s final two trials were deciding to shield Makar, another inmate, and then, ultimately, forgiving him for framing him for the murder of the merchant. “I cannot tell, your humor. God does not bed me tell. I will not tell” (811). TO shield Makar rather than telling the guard who he was was a great trial. He faced the killer and showed compassion. “God will forgive you; maybe I am a hundred times worse than you are!” (811) To forgive the man who framed him was the greatest trial he ever had to face. Therefore, “The Long Exile” is a journey.