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SECURING & SAVING MARRIAGES

SECURING & SAVING MARRIAGES. Gen. 2:24. [Ron Halbrook , Steven Deaton]. SECURING & SAVING MARRIAGES. Introduction: God’s Word: build good marriages, save troubled ones Apply lessons for stable, secure, happy homes—not seek divorce. SECURING & SAVING MARRIAGES. Introduction:

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SECURING & SAVING MARRIAGES

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  1. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES Gen. 2:24 [Ron Halbrook, Steven Deaton]

  2. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES • Introduction: • God’s Word: build good marriages, save troubled ones • Apply lessons for stable, secure, happy homes—not seek divorce

  3. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES • Introduction: 3. Gen. 2:24 leads to good marriage, happy home, eternal salvation! 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

  4. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES I. Put God First II. Remember Our Marriage Vows: Committed Companionship

  5. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication A. Communication in the Godhead • Close communication in creation • Gen. 1:1-2, 26 All persons of Godhead

  6. 1 In the beginning God [Elohim] created the heaven and the earth. 2 And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. 26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness:… • Gen. 1:1-2, 26 All persons of Godhead

  7. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication A. Communication in the Godhead • Close communication in salvation • Ps. 2:7-8 Intimate harmony as a royal family: new kingdom

  8. Ps. 2:7-8 Intimate harmony as a royal family: new kingdom 7 I will declare the decree: the LORD hath said unto me, Thou art my Son; this day have I begotten thee. 8 Ask of me, and I shall give thee the heathen for thine inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for thy possession.

  9. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication A. Communication in the Godhead • Close communication in salvation • Jn. 14:26 Truth shared by Father, Son, & Holy Spirit revealed

  10. Jn. 14:26 Truth shared by Father, Son, & Holy Spirit revealed 26 But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.

  11. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication B. Communication: God & Man • Matt. 28:19 Obey gospel: enter relationship with God 19 Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:

  12. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication B. Communication: God & Man • Eph. 5:17 God speaks, we listen: relationship grows closer 17 Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.

  13. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication B. Communication: God & Man • We pray & worship, God listens: relationship grows closer • Matt. 6:6 Private prayer

  14. 6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly. • Matt. 6:6 Private prayer

  15. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication B. Communication: God & Man • We pray & worship, God listens: relationship grows closer • Acts 2:42 Public worship 42 And they continued stedfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, and in breaking of bread, and in prayers.

  16. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication B. Communication: God & Man • We pray & worship, God listens: relationship grows closer • Col. 3:16-17 Mutual communication

  17. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. 17 And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. • Col. 3:16-17 Mutual communication

  18. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication B. Communication: God & Man • We pray & worship, God listens: relationship grows closer • Rev. 2:4 Communication wanes, love wanes 4 Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love.

  19. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication C. Gen. 2:18-24 God Made Communication Essential in Marriage • Vs. 18 Not good: no companion, no communication • Vv. 19-20 Animals not meet man’s need

  20. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication C. Gen. 2:18-24 God Made Communication Essential in Marriage • Vv. 21-24 God gave gift of marriage: companionship & communication!

  21. 23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. • VV. 21-24 God gave gift of marriage: companionship & communication!

  22. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication D. Matt. 7:12 Apply Golden Rule 12 Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.

  23. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication D. Matt. 7:12 Apply Golden Rule • Communicate: you desire a mate who communicates • Communicate: in the way you desire a mate to do so

  24. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication E. Good Character & Communication • Prov. 14:5; 23:7 Honesty: builds trust 14:5 A faithful witness will not lie: but a false witness will utter lies. 23:7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee.

  25. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication E. Good Character & Communication • Gen. 31:1-16 Openness: transparent, forthcoming • Jacob counseled with Rachel & Leah 4 And Jacob sent and called Rachel and Leah to the field unto his flock

  26. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication E. Good Character & Communication • Eccl. 9:8-10 Willing spirit: do right, share all of life with mate— not selfish, suspicious, bitter

  27. 8 Let thy garments be always white; and let thy head lack no ointment. 9 Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun. 10 Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest. • Eccl. 9:8-10 Willing spirit: do right, share all of life with mate: not selfish, suspicious, bitter

  28. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication F. 1 Pet. 3:7 Consider Male-Female Natures 7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, …being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

  29. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication F. 1 Pet. 3:7 Consider Male-Female Natures • Male focus: facts, fix problem, protect from outside dangers • Female: more delicate, emotional, nurturing; feelings important • Matt. 7:12 Look thru mate’s eyes

  30. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication F. 1 Pet. 3:7 Consider Male-Female Natures • Do not overreact to mate’s reaction: • Light bulb out all day • “You never want to do anything I want to do or consider my feelings:” Focus on issue not “never,” “anything”

  31. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication G. Careful Use of the Tongue • Matt. 7:12 Speak as wish to be spoken to 12 Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.

  32. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication G. Careful Use of the Tongue • Prov. 18:22 Speak to mate as valued companion 22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtainethfavour of the LORD.

  33. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication G. Careful Use of the Tongue • Prov. 10:19; 25:11; 29:20 Choose words carefully

  34. 10:19 In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise. • Prov. 10:19; 25:11; 29:20 Choose words carefully 25:11 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. 29:20 Seest thou a man that is hasty in his words? there is more hope of a fool than of him.

  35. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES G. Careful Use of the Tongue • Prov. 12:18; 15:4 Give health not wounds 12:18 There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health. 15:4 A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit.

  36. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication G. Careful Use of the Tongue • Prov. 15:1; 16:32; 17:14 Be calm, avoid anger

  37. 15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. • Prov. 15:1; 16:32; 17:14 Be calm, avoid anger 16:32 He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city. 17:14 The beginning of strife is as when one letteth out water: therefore leave off contention, before it be meddled with.

  38. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication G. Careful Use of the Tongue • Prov. 19:11 Overlook not magnify mate’s failures 11 The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.

  39. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication G. Careful Use of the Tongue • Prov. 11:29; 21:9, 19 Seek peace not “victory”

  40. 11:29 He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind: and the fool shall be servant to the wise of heart. • Prov. 11:29; 21:9, 19 Seek peace not “victory” 21:9 It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house. 21:19 It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.

  41. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication G. Careful Use of the Tongue • Prov. 27:5-6, 17 Listen & learn: disagree w/o being disagreeable

  42. Prov. 27:5-6, 17 Listen & learn: disagree w/o being disagreeable 5 Open rebuke is better than secret love. 6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. 17 Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.

  43. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication G. Careful Use of the Tongue • Prov. 28:13 Admit wrong 13 He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.

  44. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication H. Sincere Genuine Compliments • Song of Solomon celebrates steadfast love in marriage: Solomon & Shulamite exchange many compliments

  45. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication H. Sincere Genuine Compliments • Song of Sol. 2:1-2 Compliments lift the spirit: “I am ordinary,” “You are special” 1 I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys. 2 As the lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters.

  46. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication H. Sincere Genuine Compliments • Express attraction, affection, passion of love • 4:1-5 He compliments her • 5:10-16 She compliments him

  47. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication H. Sincere Genuine Compliments • Express moral attraction • 4:12 Her moral purity 12 A garden inclosed is my sister, my spouse; a spring shut up, a fountain sealed.

  48. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication H. Sincere Genuine Compliments • Express moral attraction • 7:10 His integrity 10 I am my beloved's, and his desire is toward me.

  49. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication H. Sincere Genuine Compliments • Reassure “I prefer you above all others” • 5:10 He is best of 10,000! • 6:8-9 She is the 1 & only!

  50. SECURING & SAVINGMARRIAGES III. Maintain Good Communication H. Sincere Genuine Compliments • Compliments flow from love, value, & gratitude • Thank your mate for many things: • Marrying you • Being good mate • Helping you to be a better person

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