PRESERVING MOTHER-CHILD BONDING: WHEN MOM IS BATTERED

1. PRESERVING MOTHER-CHILD BONDING: WHEN MOM IS BATTERED NATIONAL CONFERENCE ON CHILD ABUSE AND NEGLECT 2009

2. Prevalence of Child Witnessing • In 50-75% of battering incidents, children are present. • At least 3.3 million children aged 3-17 are exposed to intimate partner violence against their mothers. • Children are present and witness the murder of victims in 25% of femicide.

3. Domestic Violence & Child Abuse • 30% - 60% co-occurrence of child abuse and domestic violence. • Children exposed to domestic violence and sexual violence of their mothers may also be victims of physical and sexual abuse.

4. Domestic Violence & Child Abuse • As many as 70% of batterers also abuse their children. • Battered women are twice as likely to abuse their children as non-abused women.

5. Defining Batterers A batterer is a person who exercises a pattern of coercive control in a partner relationship, punctuated by one or more acts of intimidating physical violence, sexual assault, or credible threats of physical violence.

6. Batterer as Parent • Authoritarian • Under-involved • Undermines mother’s authority • Undermines mother’s parenting

7. Batterer as Parent • Limited sense of age-appropriateness • Uses children as weapons • Sees children as personal possessions

8. PARENTING BY VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE • Experience greater stress; does not translate to diminished parenting. • More likely to use aggression against their children; less likely when safe.

9. PARENTING BY VICTIMS • Compensate for violence in the home through increased nurturing and protection. • Decisions around leaving or staying based on best interest of their children.

10. MANY BATTERED WOMEN DO NOT REALIZE THE IMPACT OF THE BATTERER ON THEIR PARENTING OR ON THE CHILDREN

11. FOCUS GROUPS 2004/05 eight focus groups Battered women involved with child welfare Outcomes: Child welfare---Generic parenting not helpful Domestic violence programs--not enough help regarding heir children

12. BUILDING RESILIENCY The most common indicator of resiliency in children exposed to domestic violence is the strength of the bond with the battered parent, and/or access to a healthy, close relationship with a non-violent adult figure. Perhaps the most harmful thing that can happen to children who witness violence is the destruction of the mother/child relationship (Bancroft & Silverman, 2002).

13. Demonstration Project for Enhanced Services for Children and Youth Exposed to Domestic Violence. Address the needs of children and youth exposed to domestic violence and to support and build the abused parent’s capacity and ability to build resiliency in children, in order to mitigate the impact of exposure to domestic violence and increase the opportunity for these children and youth to lead healthy, non-violent and safe lives as adults.

14. BETH BITLEREXPERIENCES AS SURVIVOR AND MOTHER

15. A KID IS SO SPECIAL(KISS) Program designed specifically for battered women, who are mothers, to strengthen the bond with their children and help build resiliency.

16. A KID IS SO SPECIAL FIVE BOOKLETS • General information on theme • Poem or article on mother-child bond • Activity for group discussion • Information on impact on children • Activities for “mommy and me”

17. A KID IS SO SPECIAL • Playing Together: social development • Learning Together: school success • Growing Together: development • Being Together: family dynamics • Understanding Together: discipline

18. GROUP ACTIVITY • How would you introduce this activity? • What would you say as the purpose? • What additional information would you give? • How would you close the activity? • General impressions?

19. WHO WILL TALK FOR US? We need you help. We need your understanding. Just always remember, We are kids! We are doing the best we can.

20. RELATIONSHIP CHILDREN HEAL THROUGH RELATIONSHIP

21. CONTACT INFORMATIONBeth Bitler PA Family Support Alliancebbitler@pa-fsa.org717-238-0937Barbara A. NissleyPA Coalition Against Domestic Violenceban@pcadv.org800-932-4632