Language Analysis

1. Language Analysis Feedback

2. 1. Be more accurate in your descriptions of toneRank these words for tone in order of intensity: • Angry • Calm • Sarcastic • Mocking • Outraged • Assertive • Serious • Cynical • Passionate • Enthusiastic • Determined • Disappointed • Respectful • Moderate

3. 2. Use correct punctuation DJs, DJ’s or DJs’ ? • The ___ accused of JacinthaSaldanha’s death • Bolt presents Christian’s actions as sadly ironic and targets the ___ comments made on Facebook which now appear callous. • The ___ actions have been scrutinised and they have been… • The ___ appeared on television program • The ___ appearance sparked many heated opinion pieces • Bolt’s contempt for the ____ actions does not stretch to punishing the _____, an act he views as “hypocritical”.

4. DJs, DJ’s or DJs’ • The DJs accused of JacinthaSaldanha’s death • Bolt presents Christian’s actions as sadly ironic and targets the DJ’s comments made on Facebook which now appear callous. • The DJs’ actions have been scrutinised and they have been… • The DJs appeared on television program • The DJs’ appearance sparked many heated opinion pieces • Bolt’s contempt for the DJs’ actions does not stretch to punishing the DJs, an act he views as “hypocritical”.

5. 3. Use accurate expressionDescribing Evidence • Evidence is given… • Is it? How? Like a present? • Evidence is presented… • Is it? In a graph? Table? • Evidence is used… • To show / depict / illustrate / reveal

6. Evoke • Evoke – it means something stimulates a feeling. • Other words: arouses, conjures, induces • So which is right? • The writer uses “gloating” to evoke feelings of mistrust towards the DJs. • The use of “gloating” evokes the reader to see the DJs as untrustworthy.

7. Invoke • Invoke – means to quote something, ask for something or arouse something • Other words: appeal, summon (as in a demon), beg, cite, mention, call to mind, petition • Yes it is similar to ‘evoke’ but can be used differently. • The writer invokes the UK’s phone tapping scandal by labeling it “hypocrisy” to evoke the reader’s sense of injustice in their criticism of the Australian DJs.

8. Do not get confused with ‘provoke’ • Provoke – means to make someone feel angry. • Other words: incite (which is different to cite), aggravate, annoy • Bolt provokes the audience by calling them “simply stupid”, hoping to evoke their desire to be seen as considerate rather than “vicious”.

9. Connotations • Writers don’t “use connotations” • They use words that have connotations • The easiest way to use the word “connotations” in your writing: • The word “…………….” has positive (/negative) connotations, leading the reader to feel….. • A better way: • The word “…………” has connotations of……. making the reader feel….. • Slightly more sophisticated way: • The word “………..” evokes connotations of……positioning the reader to…….

10. List in order of intensity: • Depicts • Implies • Demands • Confronts • Suggests • Indicates • Says • Exclaims • Conveys • Presents

11. What’s wrong with this? Bolt’s opening uses a critical tone to outline his main point of view. He utilises an attack, describing the public as self ‘righteous’. This shows you irony and hypocrisy which is where people are complaining about something which they are actually doing themselves like they are here. Bolt tries to tell the people who believe they are doing the right thing are really behaving just as poorly as the DJs. The reader can also see Bolt as reasonable as he describes the DJs as ‘smart alecs’. This is showing that he is not defending their actions but instead defending their wellbeing. He later fires a threatening attack at the reader saying that those accusing the DJs of ‘having blood on their hands’ are careful their own hands remain ‘spotless’. This evokes a sense of fear in the audience, making them feel as though they too could be an accessory to a death if they are not careful.

12. Fluffy, empty phrase that tells us nothing Bolt’s opening uses a critical tone to outline his main point of view. He utilises an attack, describing the public as self ‘righteous’. This shows you irony and hypocrisy which is where people are complaining about something which they are actually doing themselves like they are here. Bolt tries to tell the people who believe they are doing the right thing are really behaving just as poorly as the DJs. The reader can also see Bolt as reasonable as he describes the DJs as ‘smart alecs’. This is showing that he is not defending their actions but instead defending their wellbeing. He later fires a threatening attack at the reader saying that those accusing the DJs of ‘having blood on their hands’ are careful their own hands remain ‘spotless’. This evokes a sense of fear in the audience, making them feel as though they too could be an accessory to a death if they are not careful.

13. Sentence ends abruptly, ruins flow. Informal and never use you! Bolt’s opening uses a critical tone to outline his main point of view. He utilises an attack, describing the public as self ‘righteous’. This shows you irony and hypocrisy which is where people are complaining about something which they are actually doing themselves like they are here. Bolt tries to tell the people who believe they are doing the right thing are really behaving just as poorly as the DJs. The reader can also see Bolt as reasonable as he describes the DJs as ‘smart alecs’. This is showing that he is not defending their actions but instead defending their wellbeing. He later fires a threatening attack at the reader saying that those accusing the DJs of ‘having blood on their hands’ are careful their own hands remain ‘spotless’. This evokes a sense of fear in the audience, making them feel as though they too could be an accessory to a death if they are not careful. Defines the device: NEVER do this, we know devices you need to tell us how it is being used!

14. Sentence ends abruptly and doesn’t explain how this makes Bolt ‘reasonable’. So it doesn’t make sense Bolt’s opening uses a critical tone to outline his main point of view. He utilises an attack, describing the public as self ‘righteous’. This shows you irony and hypocrisy which is where people are complaining about something which they are actually doing themselves like they are here. Bolt tries to tell the people who believe they are doing the right thing are really behaving just as poorly as the DJs. The reader can also see Bolt as reasonable as he describes the DJs as ‘smart alecs’. This is showing that he is not defending their actions but instead defending their wellbeing. He later fires a threatening attack at the reader saying that those accusing the DJs of ‘having blood on their hands’ are careful their own hands remain ‘spotless’. This evokes a sense of fear in the audience, making them feel as though they too could be an accessory to a death if they are not careful. After reading this, the previous sentence does make sense, but the two should be combined so the examiner doesn’t have to figure it out

15. Not distinguishing between the reader who feels this way and those who never thought they were to blame. Bolt’s opening uses a critical tone to outline his main point of view. He utilises an attack, describing the public as self ‘righteous’. This shows you irony and hypocrisy which is where people are complaining about something which they are actually doing themselves like they are here. Bolt tries to tell the people who believe they are doing the right thing are really behaving just as poorly as the DJs. The reader can also see Bolt as reasonable as he describes the DJs as ‘smart alecs’. This is showing that he is not defending their actions but instead defending their wellbeing. He later fires a threatening attack at the reader saying that those accusing the DJs of ‘having blood on their hands’ are careful their own hands remain ‘spotless’. This evokes a sense of fear in the audience, making them feel as though they too could be an accessory to a death if they are not careful. Fails to identify that it is a metaphor/idiom/cliché/imagery No one says anything in written text– they state/declare/question/ implore/demand

16. Bolt’s opening uses a critical tone to outline his main point of view. He utilises an attack, describing the public as self ‘righteous’. This shows you irony and hypocrisy which is where people are complaining about something which they are actually doing themselves like they are here. Bolt tries to tell the people who believe they are doing the right thing are really behaving just as poorly as the DJs. The reader can also see Bolt as reasonable as he describes the DJs as ‘smart alecs’. This is showing that he is not defending their actions but instead defending their wellbeing. He later fires a threatening attack at the reader saying that those accusing the DJs of ‘having blood on their hands’ are careful their own hands remain ‘spotless’. This evokes a sense of fear in the audience, making them feel as though they too could be an accessory to a death if they are not careful. What connotations does this convey?

17. A+ paragraph Why is this one better? Bolt’s opening uses a critical tone to attack the public outcry as self ‘righteous’. His assertion that people have behaved hypocritically may lead readers to question their own behaviour and see Bolt as a voice of reason appealing to their sense of logic and morality. His use of pejorative language ‘smart alecs’, conveys that although he is critical of the media backlash, he also doesn’t defend the DJs’ actions. This is reinforced through an extended metaphor warning that those who accuse the DJs of having ‘blood on their hands’ are careful their own hands remain ‘spotless’. This evokes connotations of guilt and conveys a warning to readers making Bolt appear concerned that they too could be an accessory to a death if they are not careful.

18. 4. Introductions • What to include? • Context & Issue (A sentence on the event and resulting issue) • E.g. The death of British nurse JacinthaSaldanha, allegedly a result of the prank call by 2DayFM DJ’s Mel Grieg and Michael Christian, has resulted in much criticism from the public who believe they should be punished for their actions. • Piece information (Genre –editorial, article, letter to the editor, etc, Title, Author, When published, Where published) • Contention • Tone (if consistent throughout, otherwise discuss it in the body paragraphs) • E.g. The _____________ titled ‘________________’,by _______________ and published___________, in ________ on _____________, contends in a ______________ tone that _______________________________________. • PurposeE.g.The (text genre) is targeted towards ______________________ with the purpose of __________________________________. • Briefly introduce author, title, genre, contention, tone of any other texts given (e.g. letter in response, online comments, tweets, etc.)E.g. • The (text genre) in response to the editorial(/article) contends in a __________ tone that ___________________. • Or • Similarly/Alternatively, the (text genre) titled ‘_____________’ by ___________ asserts in a ______________ tone that ________________________________.

19. Introductions • Don’t introduce: • The techniques • The visual (unless it is a separate text, e.g. a cartoon by a different person)