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ALMOST BUBER : Martin Buber ’ s Complex Influence on Family Therapy

ALMOST BUBER : Martin Buber ’ s Complex Influence on Family Therapy. Alan Flashman MD Berlin 2008. MURRAY BOWEN: D IFFERENTIATION OF SELF IN SYSTEM. “I” - POSITION. “I” - POSITION. Authentic & Full Expression Beginning of the Encounter Rather than: Erasing “I” – giving in

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ALMOST BUBER : Martin Buber ’ s Complex Influence on Family Therapy

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  1. ALMOST BUBER:Martin Buber’s Complex Influence on Family Therapy Alan Flashman MD Berlin 2008

  2. MURRAY BOWEN:DIFFERENTIATIONOF SELF IN SYSTEM • “I” - POSITION

  3. “I” - POSITION • Authentic & Full Expression • Beginning of the Encounter • Rather than: • Erasing “I” – giving in • Erasing “You” – forcing • Taking a risk

  4. DIFFERENTIATIONOF SELF IN SYSTEM • “I” - POSITION • TRIANGLES

  5. HIGH DIFFERENTIATION:TRIADS = 3 Dyads FATHER MOTHER CHILDREN

  6. LOW DIFFERENTIATION:TRIANGLES FATHER MOTHER CHILDREN

  7. DIFFERENTIATIONOF SELF IN SYSTEM • “I” - POSITION • TRIANGLES • CO-CREATION

  8. DIFFERENTIATION LOW HIGH DISENGAGED ENMESHED CO-CREATION

  9. LOW I AM ERASED YOU ARE ERASED WE DO NOT CHANGE HIGH I WANT/FEEL YOU = ENDS WE = CO-CREATION DIFFERENTIATION

  10. NO CO-CREATION LOW DIFFERENTIATION CO-CREATION HIGH DIFFERENTIATION

  11. I’ I Thou’ thou

  12. Yonatan Darmon Safed, Israel

  13. DIFFERENTIATION LOW HIGH DISENGAGED ENMESHED CO-CREATION

  14. . Themost remarkable event at that time was the visit of Martin Buber, who in 1957 delivered the fourth William Alanson White Memorial Lectures and also gave a series of evening seminars to especially interested faculty members… I was delegated to call upon him It was an experience I shall never forget. It made me somewhat uneasy to be calling a "holy man" (as I thought of Martin Buber) on the telephone, but I did. I was to meet him in an apartment house with a large private foyer or waiting room, where I waited for an uneasy five or ten minutes. Buber was a short man, no taller than I was, with extraordinarily alive brown eyes and a white Santa Claus beard. He greeted me without any social smile whatsoever. He merely looked at me very intensely, and my uneasiness dropped away completely. I think I have rarely felt so much at ease, so much myself. Still without any social smile, he said, "Come over here in the light where I can see you better." And so I did, without any self-consciousness. One of the first things he said was: "When one is 80 years old, one has to choose carefully which places one will go to. There isn't SO much time left, I want to come to the Washington School of Psychiatry because I think it is one of the few places which keep the questions open." … I think the School has never been paid a greater compliment..

  15. Expanding Buber • From black and white to shades of gray • Relatively more full I-Thou • From static oscillation to growth • “Stochastic Processes” • (Στοχαζειν)

  16. Obstacles to Buber • Intimacy and intrusion • Loneliness of the therapist • Acceptance of loss of control • Clients needing something else first • Buberians and non-Buberians

  17. “keep the questions open” Buberian Non-Buberian Buberian Non-Buberian Buberian Non-Buberian

  18. REFERENCES Gregory Bateson, Steps to an Ecology of Mind, 1972; Mind and Nature,1979. Murray Bowen, Family Theory in Clinical Practice,1978. Martin Buber, The Knowledge of Man, 1963. Mona DeKoven Fishbane, ”I, thou, and we: A dialogical approach to couples therapy”, Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, Jan. 1998. Family Process, March, 1982 (21:1) Alan Flashman, “Mutual Fantasies in Families of Adolescents”, in Fantasies and Adolescence”, H. Deutsch, Ed, Jerusalem, 2007. Alan Flashman & Hanna Avnet, Therapeutic Communication with Adolescents (Hebrew), Jerusalem, 2005, ch. 7. Walter Kaufman, I and Thou: A Prologue, 1970; Discovering the Mind, Vol. 2, 1980. Daniel Stern, The Present Moment, 2004

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