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Introduction & Brief Context

This study explores the ways in which gender and love intersect in the lives of gay and bisexual men. It examines the concept of hegemonic masculinity and its impact on relationships and emotions. The findings suggest that some men resist traditional relationship norms and prioritize independence and success. Love is often seen as meaningless or purely sexual. The search for a military husband raises questions about the role of love in performing masculinity.

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Introduction & Brief Context

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  1. Introduction & Brief Context • I demonstrate the ways in which gender and love intersect, drawing on interview data comprising of 23 gay and bisexual men. • I define hegemonic masculinity as a form of masculinity that legitimates unequal gender relations between men and women, between masculinity and femininity, and amongst masculinities (Connell, 1987, 1995, 2005). • The findings suggest that some men do not want to perpetuate the notion of the ‘happily ever after’ because it obstructs their enactment of localized hegemonic masculinities. • Emotion and vulnerability can undermine hegemonic formations of masculinity.

  2. Findings • The discourse of hegemonic masculinity: thrill, excitement and control. • Legitimating men’s position in society: independence and being successful in the economic realm. • Love as meaningless: ‘a relationship wouldn’t mean anything to me’. • Finding a military husband: doing love or doing masculinity?

  3. 1) The discourse of hegemonic masculinity: thrill, excitement and control • “I work in a factory surrounded by blokes shouting and swearing … all the time, my mouth reflects the factory [sexual] banter! … I think I’d like to be penetrated, I’d like to ride [a guy] I think so I’m in control of it inside me, I want to make [him] cum! … As [he is] entering me for the first time I’d like to guide it in so I’m controlling how it feels!”(Respondent 1, age 27, pansexual, & an engineer). • “I think lads don’t like to settle anymore. Always looking for the next best thing and love the thrill of shagging about. It’s a vicious circle ha”(Respondent 2, age 24, gay).

  4. 2) Legitimating men’s position in society: independence and being successful in the economic realm INTERVIEWER: ”How come you’re single?” RESPONDENT 4 (age 20, bisexual, law student): ”Not looking for a relationship … I don’t mean it in a horribly way, just the truth not looking for a relationship. I don’t want one, just personal preference at the moment. Rather not waste time in a relationship, I’d rather finish my degree and settle down as in get a house, a proper job, etc.” INTERVIEWER: ”You want to be single forever?” RESPONDENT 4: ”No, just wait until later on but probably not until like 10 years. I just want to send pictures and have fun out of that … I don’t believe in love and romance.”

  5. 3) Love as meaningless: “a relationship wouldn’t mean anything to me” RESPONDENT 16: I’m not gay, I don’t actually fancy guys but something turns me on about [them] … I’m just horny so fuck it. RESEARCHER: Does anybody know you’re bisexual? RESPONDENT 16: No. I don’t think I am [bisexual], I literally just get like this [sexually interested in men] but don’t really know why. I like women but get horny for some reason. I literally just like sex. I fancy just oral fun, something about oral turns me on … just playing like foreplay. RESEARCHER: Do you treat lads like women? RESPONDENT 16: Depends really, see how I feel. RESEARCHER: Do you like ‘camp’ lads? RESPONDENT 16: Probably more so … because [fuckin’] manly lads would be weird because I’m not gay. I’m just up for fun that’s all. I prefer women … a relationship wouldn’t mean anything to me, it wouldn’t be a boyfriend [sic]. I don’t fancy guys, just fun. I think it’s just pleasure, we’re lads and we [get] horny as fuck … obviously with someone you got to have a little attraction … gays love me.

  6. 4) Finding a military husband: doing love or doing masculinity? RESEARCHER: How come you’re single? RESPONDENT 19 (age 20 and gay): I keep meeting dickheads and keep getting messed about … [My ex] cheated on me for half of it [the relationship]. RESEARCHER: How long were you together? RESPONDENT 19: 4 years mate, it hurt like fuck tbh [to be honest]. RESEARCHER: Why did it hurt so much? RESPONDENT 19: Because I was gonna ask him to marry me. Since then, I’ve never had a proper relationship … as they say, shit happens. I’ve had many trust issues with guys, but yeah does feel like I’m gonna be single forever. RESEARCHER: So you want to go straight now? I noticed your profile statement [stating ‘a gay man seeking to experiment with girls’]. RESPONDENT 19: I’m never gonna be straight mate, just up for experimenting because I’ve never done stuff with girls. RESEARCHER: So you had a boyfriend at age 16? RESPONDENT 19: [No], I lost my virginity at 11. RESEARCHER: So when did you get in the relationship? RESPONDENT 19: [age] 13. RESEARCHER: You said before you were wanting to get married. Why marriage? RESPONDENT 19: Because I wanted to be his military husband. RESEARCHER: What’s a military husband? RESPONDENT 19: If I’m in the army and I’m married, I’m a husband.

  7. Discussion & Concluding Thoughts • I have tried to show that hegemonic masculinity can be formed discursively and materially, as intended by the original formulation of the concept (Connell, 1987, 1995), to legitimate unequal gender relations between men and women, between masculinity and femininity, and amongst masculinities. • I have mainly focused on hegemonic masculinity at the local level, drawing on ‘sexual stories’ (Plummer, 1995) to distinguish patterns of localized hegemonic masculinities, rather than at the regional and global levels. • Both of the relational and legitimation features are central to the construction of hegemonic masculinity (Messerschmidt and Messner, 2018).

  8. Publications Journal Articles • Javaid, A. (2018) ‘(In)actions Speak Louder than Words: Foucault, Governmentality, and the Social Construction of Rape in the Policing Landscape’. Victims and Offenders. • Javaid, A. (2018) ‘The interconnectedness of chemsex, drugs, sexual promiscuity and sexual violence’. Irish Journal of Sociology, 26(2): 183–207. • Javaid, A. (2018) “‘Poison ivy’: Queer masculinities, sexualities, homophobia and sexual violence”. European Journal of Criminology. • Javaid, A. (2018) ‘Out of place: Sexualities, sexual violence, and heteronormativity’. Aggression and Violent Behavior, 39: 83-89. • Javaid, A. (2018) “Me, myself and I: the sociology of policing male rape, the gaze of the ‘Other’”. Police Practice and Research, 19(4): 380-397. • Javaid, A. (2017) ‘Male rape, masculinities, and sexualities’. International Journal of Law, Crime and Justice, 52: 199-210. • Javaid, A. (2017) ‘The invisible, the alien and the marginal: Social and cultural constructions of male rape in voluntary agencies’. International Review of Victimology. • Javaid, A. (2017) ‘Forgotten victims: students’ attitudes towards and responses to male sexual victimisation’. Journal of Sexual Aggression, 23(3): 338-350.

  9. Javaid, A. (2017) “In The Shadows: Making Sense of Gay Male Rape Victims’ Silence, Suffering, and Invisibility”. International Journal of Sexual Health, 29(4): 279-291. • Javaid, A. (2017) ‘Masculinities, sexualities and identities: Understanding HIV positive and HIV negative male rape victims’. International Sociology, 32(3): 323–342. • Javaid, A. (2017) “Making the invisible visible: (un)meeting male rape victims’ needs in the third sector”. Journal of Aggression, Conflict and Peace Research, 9(2): 106-115. • Javaid, A. (2017) ‘The Unknown Victims: Hegemonic Masculinity, Masculinities, and Male Sexual Victimisation’. Sociological Research Online, 22(1): 1. • Javaid, A. (2016) “‘Walking on egg shells’: Policing sexual offences against men”. Police Journal: Theory, Practice and Principles, 90(3): 228–245. • Javaid, A. (2016) ‘Giving a Voice to the Voiceless: Police Responses to Male Rape’. Policing: A Journal of Policy and Practice, 11(2): 146-156. • Javaid, A. (2016) “Voluntary Agencies’ Responses to, and Attitudes toward Male Rape: Issues and Concerns”. Sexuality & Culture, 20(3): 731-748. • Javaid, A. (2016) ‘Male Rape, Stereotypes, and Unmet Needs: Hindering Recovery, Perpetuating Silence’. Violence and Gender, 3(1): 7-13. • Javaid, A. (2015) ‘Male Rape Myths: Understanding and Explaining Social Attitudes Surrounding Male Rape.’Masculinities and Social Change, 4(3): 270-294.

  10. Javaid, A. (2015) ‘Male Rape Myths: Understanding and Explaining Social Attitudes Surrounding Male Rape.’Masculinities and Social Change, 4(3): 270-294. • Javaid, A. (2015) ‘The Dark Side of Men: The Nature of Masculinity and its Uneasy Relationship with Male Rape’. The Journal of Men’s Studies, 23(3): 271-292. • Javaid, A. (2015) ‘The Role of Alcohol in Intimate Partner Violence: Causal Behaviour or Excusing Behaviour?’British Journal of Community Justice, 13(1): 75-92. • Javaid, A. (2015) ‘Police Responses to, and Attitudes Towards, Male Rape: Issues and Concerns’. International Journal of Police Science and Management, 17(2): 81-90. • Javaid, A. (2015) “The Sociology and Social Science of ‘Evil’: Is the Conception of Pedophilia ‘Evil’?”Philosophical Papers and Review, 6(1): 1-9. • Javaid, A. (2014) ‘Male Rape in Law and the Courtroom.’Web Journal of Current Legal Issues, 20(2). • Javaid, A. (2014) “Feminism, Masculinity, and Male Rape: Bringing Male Rape ‘out of the Closet.’”Journal of Gender Studies, 25(3): 283-293.

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