How To Get Men to Stop Purchasing Commercial Sex

1. How To Get Men to Stop Purchasing Commercial Sex The Salvation Army’s National Social Services and Disaster Management Conference Orlando, FL March 25-28th, 2014 Michael A. Smith, Ph.D., LCSW

2. The connection between human trafficking and demand Each year more and more victims are entrapped in forms of labor and sex trafficking. Trafficking is a multi-billion dollar business that reaps enormous profits to traffickers with little risk of prosecution. Sex trafficking: Without the insatiable demand for immediate, inexpensive and anonymous sex -primarily by men with female victims- this world wide human rights horror would end. It exists for profits. Domestic sex trafficking: Portland Oregon, has one of the highest rates of domestic sex trafficking in the country. It is estimated more than 200 young girls are forced into prostitution. Who are the johns??

3. What is the extent of the problem with male involvement in commercial sex? Worldwide a large percentage of men regularly engage in some form of commercial sex. These men are married or in a relationship, single, dads, and sons- from all walks of life and religions. Religion, in itself, does not prevent sexual acting out. For instance, the South and the Midwest, both considered within the Bible belt, have the highest rates of online pornography use. Research suggests that pastors have high rates of pornography addiction.

4. Men (consumers) Are Victims Too! Mostmen do not feel good about their involvement with commercial sex andthey do not know howto stop. The bulk of them are largely unaware of, or minimize, or deny, the insidious spiritual, relational and emotional damage they inflect on themselves and others. Due to cultural shame and isolation, the significant sexual integrity challenges of men have not been openly discussed, thus effective strategies to reduce demand for commercial sex have yet to be widely developed. What has been tried?? John Schools

5. John Schools Men who are arrested for the solicitation of a prostituted person can elect to attend a day long educational program on the risks of involvement with commercial sex. Here is the agenda for the John School in Portland OR.

7. Sex abuse One definition of sexual abuse states that sexual abuse is: • Any sexual activity or behavior… that results in physical or emotional harm.(www.childsafety.qld.gov.au/practice-manual/appendices/glossary.html) • Given this definition, could engaging a sex worker be sexual abuse?

8. Sexual abuse • Many people who suffered sexual abuse develop problems relating to sexual behavior, sexuality, and intimacy. • Some may respond by engaging in unhealthy relationships or may become sexually impulsive and have multiple partners.

9. Psychological effects of sexual abuse • Depression • Anxiety • Panic attacks, • Low self-esteem • Shame / guilt • Anger / rage • Substance abuse / addiction • Eating disorders

10. Sexual assault & rape • Rape (forced to submit to sex against his/her will & without permission) • Statutory rape (sexual contact with a person who is under the legal age of consent) • Sexual battery (Touching a person in a sexual manner without permission) & • Certain types of sexual harassment Is it possible to rape / sexually assault a sex worker?

11. Compulsive sexual behavior Is not a matter of having more sex, but involves: • Overpowering sexual compulsions and obsessions • A loss of control over sexual behavior • Continued sexual behavior despite serious bad consequences, and • Distortions in thinking such as what they are doing is wrong.

12. In conclusion… • Unhealthy sexual behavior can lead to compulsions or impulses to repeat the behavior. • Such behavior may lead to serious: • Biological problems (Health issues) • Psychological problems (thoughts & feelings) • Social problems (family, friends, and legal) • If there is a possibility that you have a problem, seek help.

13. Other attempts to reduce commercial sex involvement • White Ribbon Campaign • EKIP- Men’s group effort to reduce demand • Sexual Addiction 12 step support groups • Sexual Addiction 12 step therapy • Sexual Addiction therapy (Relapse Prevention; cognitive-behavioral, trauma) • Pure Desire- Christian psychoeducational group- trauma focused, non-shaming, emphasizes God’s forgiveness, accountability partners

14. Pilot StudyPortland ARC program The purpose of the study was to pilot-test a five week class on the topic of reducing the involvement (demand) by men with commercial sex. Since 2000 TSA has been focused on identifying, rescuing, and providing restorative services to human trafficking victims-the supply side. Other federally funded and faith based agencies have done likewise. There has been little attention to the demand side of the human trafficking equation.

15. Course Core Christian Assumptions Sex outside of a loving, emotionally and sexually exclusive committed and mutually respectful relationship is inherently spiritually, emotionally, and physically damaging. Sex can not be divorced from our God-given spirituality. Hence, the intent of the course was to raise attendees’ awareness that participation in all forms of commercial sex is damaging.

16. Why the ARC? • There is an empirical connection between other addictions and sex addiction. • Treat primary addiction first, then sex addiction, or at the same time. • Sex addiction and its attendant circumstances can be viewed as a gateway to relapse of primary addiction (more research needed on this) • It was anticipated that men at ARC may be more open to addressing secondary addictions (stages of change theory). • Sex addiction impacts their recovery and Christian walk

17. Course

18. Stages of Change Prochaska, Norcross, & DiClemente Precontemplation Relapse / Recycle Contemplation Maintenance Preparation Action

19. Precontemplation

21. Tasks in MI • Problem Identification • Without a problem there is not a problem; damages associated with involvement in CS • Problem severity • If the problem is not serious, why address it; serious and cumulative damages associated with involvement in CS • Optimism • (hopeful expectation of ability to change and experience positive outcomes); skills/resources, identify barriers • Commitment • Realistic plan of action-non shaming accountability team and support

22. Sexualized Culture

23. Two Different Cultures

24. The Explosion of Internet Pornography July 2003, there were 260 million pages of pornography online—an increase of 1,800 percent since 1998. Today: the number of pornographic pages-420 million Pornographic websites- 4.2 million (12% of total websites) (408% 3 three year growth) Daily pornographic search engine requests- 68 million (25% of total search engine requests) Internet users who view porn-42.7%

25. Who looks at pornography? Men… Women… Teens and children… 71.61 percent of all online pornography consumers were male and 28.39 percent were female.

26. US Adult Internet User Demographics Age

27. Reasons Given for Online Sexual Activity 80.5 percent used online sexual activity (OSA) to distract themselves or take a break, 56.5 percent used OSA to deal with stress, 43.0 percent used OSA to engage in sexual activities they would not do in real life 25.3 percent used OSA to educate themselves, 16.1 percent used OSA to meet people with whom to have offline sexual activities, 11.7 percent used OSA to meet people to date, and 9.1 percent used OSA to get support with sexual matters

28. Lessons Instilled in Pornography Sexual pleasure/ performance is the most important need/activity in life. In relationships it supersedes communication, common interests, commitment, trust, and mutual respect. The more sex the better. More recently, the more intense and aggressive and dehumanizing the sex the better. Objectification of another person sexually is normalized and even glamorized. Degradation of other person sexually is arousing.

29. The Brain on Pornography Humans are highly addictive creatures. Deep regions of the primitive brain develop patterns for safety and survival. Males in particular are susceptible to visual stimuli. Responding to sexual stimuli is powerfully rewarded with pleasurable chemicals flooding the brain. Brain scans of men during ejaculation reveal the same activation of pleasure neurons as cocaine and other drugs.

30. Brain Chemistry Changes Masturbation to pornography is a double neurochemical hit: the rush of watching extreme material and therein forcing rush of orgasm, both of which rapidly consolidate learning—i.e., wiring in the synapses. Novel stimulation makes internet pornography extremely addictive (clicking, searching, shock, surprise). Average time on porn site is 3 hours.

31. Sexual Addiction Patrick Carnes believes that people become addicted to sex in the same way they become addicted to alcohol or drugs. Sexual addiction is a maladaptive pattern of sexual behavior, leading to clinically significant impairment or distress, as manifested by three (or more) of the following, occurring at any time in the same 12-month period:

32. The Making of a Sex Addict

33. Sexual addiction (cont.) Tolerance, as defined by either: a. A need for markedly increased amount or intensity of the sexual behavior to achieve the desired effect or b. Markedly diminished effect with continued involvement in the sexual behavior at the same level of intensity.

34. Sexual Addiction Although not all consumers of pornography struggle with a sexual addiction, the majority of sexual addictions include pornography consumption to some degree, or did at some point in its etiology. 6% of the adult population are estimated to meet the definition of sexual addiction. It is unknown how many adolescents would meet the definition.

35. Process Addiction While pornography addiction is as powerful as drug addiction, it is also qualitatively different than chemical addiction in several ways: • Internal; always accessible; hidden • Can not be erased- one always will have the memory of pornography imprinted in their brain; permanently alters brain chemistry. • Deals with a natural instinctual function of life • Free and (mostly) legal

36. Sexual Compulsion Sexual compulsivity is the loss of ability to choose to stop or continue a sexual behavior it is used to lessen anxiety. Such behavior violates some aspect of his or her personal values and ethics and produces deep shame. The behavior is hidden. 17% of the U.S. adult population is struggling with some variation of sexual compulsion. Sexual compulsions can lead to addiction.

37. Parallels to Drug Addiction There are strong parallels between the withdrawalsymptoms of addicts and the withdrawal symptoms of heavy porn users who try to quit: shakes, severe insomnia, persistent headaches, irritability, extreme cravings, despair, brain fog, desire to isolate.

38. Negative Cycle Evident parallels between drug use and heavy porn use: cycles of escalation, tolerance, impaired decision-making, altered perception.

39. Final Comment Pornography and all forms of commercial sex are highly misogynic It is a brutal business that exploits vulnerable persons It traumatizes participants and ruins lives Promotes sexual violence, and crime. No one deserves to be treated as an object. Everyone in porn is someone’s daughter, sister, mother, brother, son, father- born with inherent dignity and worth beyond their sexual identity

40. Sex Addiction and the Church • Ted Roberts, a noted researcher and sex therapist suggests over half of fundamental Christian males struggle with sex addiction.

41. Studies • The Johns: Sex For Sale and the Men Who Buy It, Victor Malarek(2009) • Investigates the rational men give for going to a brothel in a foreign country (Thailand)

42. Lara Janson 2013 • This study focuses on the exchange of information among men who post on the USA, Sex Guide in Illinois regarding what they call their “great hobby,” buying sex. 1,500 forum pages on the USA Sex Guide, a popular website for men who buy sex throughout the United States.

43. Larson on John Schools • Johns’ posts about demand deterrence efforts, including law enforcement raids that target all men who buy sex, create energetic discussions among johns about whether to continue buying sex. After the implementation of these efforts, some of the men on the forums stated that they will no longer take the risk of buying sex.

44. Melisa Farley 2001Comparing Sex Buyers with Men Who Don’t Buy Sex Compared 101 men who buy sex with 100 men who did not. Structured interviews-men‘s history of using women in prostitution, what they looked for when they bought sex, their evaluations and perceptions of women in prostitution and pimp-prostitute relationships, awareness of coercion and trafficking, likelihood to rape, pornography use, hostile masculine identification, first use of women in prostitution, criminal history, how they discussed prostitution with their friends, deterrents to prostitution, sex education, and others.

45. Farley • The common myth that ―any man might buy sex (i.e., that a sex buyer is a random everyman, an anonymous male who deserves the common name, john) was not supported. Sex buyers shared certain attitudes, life experiences, and behavioral tendencies that distinguish them from their non-buying peers in socially and statistically significant ways

46. Farley • Sex buyers engaged in significantly more criminal activity than non-sex buyers. They were far more likely than non-sex buyers to commit felonies, misdemeanors, crimes related to violence against women, substance abuse-related crimes, assaults, crimes with weapons, and crimes against authority

47. Farley • Sex buyers acknowledged having committed significantly more sexually coercive acts against women (non-prostituting as well as prostituting women) than non-sex buyers.

48. Farley Sex buyers had significantly less empathy for prostituted women than did non-sex buyers. Sex buyers acknowledged fewer harmful effects of prostitution on the women in it and on the community. Non-sex buyers more often saw prostitution as harmful to both the woman herself and to the community as a whole.

49. Lack of emotional connection Sex buyers expressed ambivalence, guilt and negative thinking about buying sex. They felt just as many negative feelings after buying sex as they did before. Many sex buyers sought sex that lacked emotional connection. They had little objection if the woman they purchased pretended to like them or actively disliked performing the act of prostitution. Sex buyers repeatedly commented that they liked the power relationship in prostitution and that they liked the freedom from any relationship obligation.

50. Lack of empathy The knowledge that the women have been exploited, coerced, pimped, or trafficked failed to deter sex buyers from buying sex. Many of the sex buyers had used women who were controlled by pimps at the time they used her for sex. Sex buyers in this study seemed to justify their involvement in the sex industry by stating their belief that women in prostitution are essentially different from non-prostituting women.