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Body Image Challenges and Seeing Myself Through My Mother's Eyes Guest Website By: Rachael Delmar Body Image Battles and Mom Body Image Challenges and Mother - Getting people to open up and discuss their experiences, challenges, hopes and aspirations, is only one of the things that we do at Nudist Portal. But in my opinion, these personal narratives are tremendously significant. When we discuss our most intimate concerns and experiences we not only begin to heal ourselves but we help others too. In this instance, I reached out to Rachael in the hopes that she'd be willing to talk and share with us her personal battles with body image. As we were reading her post, Felicity asked me why she was willing to show some of her most intimate thoughts and encounters. So we decided to ask her, and here is what she said: Body Image Battles and Mother "I do it because I'd like to feel courageous, like a survivor. I want others to understand that no matter what, they are never alone and they've nothing to be embarrassed of. It took me years in order to do that. I know how hard it can be because I 'd to get to this stage alone." FKK is not about the "me", it is about the "us" and "we." Collectively we can help each other move past those issues that hold us back. The only way we can make an impact is if all of US work together to educate folks how to be more accepting and compassionate. Together we hope to teach individuals how to be more tolerant and fundamentally, how to be more human. Again, sharing personal body image struggles is hard so let's all show her some support and some love! Distortions mirror un-friendly you talk conversationally. mirror mirror they encircle showing distortions hypnotized Un realistic Picture burning in head flaming through eyes the visions unsure If someone were seeing. My Mum When She Was 19 That someone never fails to be me, viewing myself through my mom's eyes. I dream of the day when I could look at my body through the eyes of others who say I 'm amazing. I remember the very first time I confronted my spirit out loud. If anything, my mom did create a warrior. As I grew, I saw her scream about being fat, starve herself, and berate me for eating too much. She became everything I never wanted to be. She tortured herself until she reached 98 pounds. A weight that made her lose her hair, and created the psychosis she suffers from now. I can still hear her vomiting a barely touched meal. She is a phantom in my head whispering into my ear each and every day. "Do not cure me. Illness is my me. My panic was you'd set me free." - Frederick Seidel I was too young to comprehend the meaning behind her compulsions. My innocence was lost. She looked at me and saw her kid as fat. It was the start of a life that I never wanted. My Mother Now I've always vowed never to be like her. https://indoutcatopp1980.wordpress.com/2016/11/07/visit-a-naked-naked-plage-what-an-eye-opener/ became my blood oath. I do finally realize that some things can never release their clasp on your own insides. By the age of 12, I weighed 120 pounds. I used ton't know the significance of calories. Exercise was a thing we did in school. As a 'chubby' kid, this was a moment I feared each and every day. I was surrounded by girls I envied in manners that knew no bounds. I never longed for their high-priced clothing or the skill to get the sons. https://twitter.com/zalomynecyro yearned for their bodies. As the years went by, I grew into a more womanly' body. Yet, I could never erase her voice in my own head. By graduation, I was on a mission to become my own woman. I wanted, desired, to emancipate myself from her clasp on my spirit. I was so concerned about this type of meaningless ideal, that I did not find myself on the road to graduating college. After all, this was the one aim she did not instill in me. So I ran from her and from myself. I trained myself to exude self-confidence that most times I did not feel. I continued this marathon until the age of 21. I thought when I could metaphorically run, I could kill the sidewalk in addition to my mum's dilemmas. I still remember the day I ran 3 miles without stopping; the time I rushed to 9 when my grandfather died. Endorphins became my drug of choice. My weapon. Yoga became my meditation, the flow was like sex. The fitness center was my safe haven. I started modeling both clothed and naked. A visual to actually try to see what I looked like, through other's eyes, not my own or hers. I began taking lessons on nutrition and psychology. I still possess the textbooks. I refer to them as if they're my bibles after I feel I 'm on a downward spiral. Here is where I found my power and control. I made everything a burn of muscles. I became obsessed. ..still looking in the mirror, scales my enemy. Not listening to anyone, previously year, I 've gotten down to 107 at 5'6". I don't know the significance of too scraggy. I only understand the things that haunt me. My battle is a daily hex every single day. Instead of starving myself, I strive and attempt to be healthy. https://snowizinas1985.wordpress.com/2016/11/07/again-bill-pointed-out-that-this-move-would-only-happen-if-the-board-agreed-with-his-appraisal-while-bill-himself-is-a-carver-trained-professional-he-did-not-want-there-to-be-even-the-look-of-him-b/ is really to try and embrace her and what she made of me. Like the warrior she made of me, I will be starting to own my body in the appropriate manner. http://smitacti.livejournal.com/126318.html understand I 'll never be free. Yet it's like a continuous fire under my ass. It ignites me to fight and never cease. Most of all to never give up. I now possess my muscles at the proud weight of 120. Back to where I started at age 12. The irony is not lost on me. ;) Rachael Delmar - I Will Be Empowered! Body Image Challenges and Mother in addition to other Naturists and Naturists Blog About Body Image Blogs Young Naturists and Naturist Portal FKK