It’s Not All In Your Head! Talking About The Menopause

1. It’s Not All In Your Head! Talking About The Menopause Recently a friend and I went to see the first show we have seen at the theatre for months – “Menopause the Musical 2”. It was a fast-paced, very entertaining show with 4 comedians, all ladies of a “certain age”, talking about their experiences of the menopause. Of course, the audience was largely comprised of women who were also 40 somethings plus who were, or who had experienced, the same stage of life and challenges as the characters in the show. It was a wonderful evening – the comedy was sharp, witty and poignant, and as a member of the audience, it was great to feel that everyone recognised and empathised with the topics which were being sung and talked about. One of the things that struck me afterwards was how much content the writers had managed to cram into 2 hours, and it brought home to me what a massive impact this stage in a woman’s life has, not just on herself, but on everyone around her, from partners to children, parents, friends and colleagues, and still, how little it is really talked about in society generally. Fortunately, in these modern times, more is spoken about concerning girls starting their periods, hormone ups and downs during puberty, period pains and menstrual complications. It is getting a bit easier to talk about gynaecological conditions such as Polycystic Ovaries (PCOS), Endometriosis, Fibroids and fertility problems (though talking about them more openly and actually getting constructive help for them are still two very different things). But there remain big chasms in discussing menopause, and many women I work with still do not necessarily recognise what it is, know where to go to get help with it, or indeed, that there IS help out there. The show was great at raising all sorts of normal menopausal symptoms, from sleep problems, hot flushes, joint pains, vaginal dryness and skin changes, to mood swings, (feeling calm and serene one minute, then weeping uncontrollably at a film the next, then enraged because someone left the top off the toothpaste again, even though they have always done that for years!). Anxiety and panic attacks, memory lapses and concentration difficulties, lack of libido and being unable to drink alcohol like you used to because bad headaches now outweigh the benefits. Then there are the issues of not being able to eat anything without piling on weight anymore, your body changing shape no matter how much you try to exercise (if you can find time to do it regularly of course, along with everything else you are still supposed to juggle!), and hair that changes colour even without dyeing it, and suddenly seems thin and lacklustre, despite using all the products you can “because you are worth it”! So, what can we do about it? Research has shown that stress plays a big part in making the symptoms of menopause worse, so having good stress management techniques is a good place to start. See your GP if you have been feeling out of sorts with many different symptoms. They can do a blood test to see if you are in menopause or perimenopause and to check other influences in your health such as iron and vitamin levels. Your GP may then suggest treatments such as HRT and explain how it can help. 

2. Chat to someone you trust about how you feel and see if you can identify what is getting you down the most. If you are very tired, maybe you are doing too much and need to find ways to reduce tasks, delegate to others and get more help. Make time to get together with friends or have regular time to yourself to switch off and have some time out. Often people who are stressed, and juggling a lot of things focus only on the chores they have to do. It is really important to look after yourself by having some fun too and not being so hard on yourself. If you have aches and pains from menopause, mood fluctuations will often make this worse. Try to have a good sleep routine and get some regular rest. Pacing your activities is important for managing any long-term pain, and depending on the cause of the pain, HRT can be very helpful too – so talk to your doctor about this. The most important rule about dealing with menopause is do not feel you have to cope with it on your own. There is help and recognition out there. Therapy for dealing with the emotional stresses can help greatly, as can a sympathetic GP.   