Practical Parenting in the Real World:

1. Practical Parenting in the Real World: A Workshop for ParentsPresented by Ann Douglas

2. Introduction • Why practical parenting in the real world? • A quick snapshot of what we're going to be talking about

3. Part 1: The Truth About Parenting • Parenting is both the most challenging and the most wonderful job on the planet. Here are ten things nobody tells you about becoming a parent, but that you definitely need to know. • There's no job description for the job of parent. • There's no such thing as "the perfect age" when it comes to kids. Each age has its unique joys and challenges.

4. Nothing about parenting happens in a predictable, linear fashion. • The experts don’t have all the answers. • Parenting in the real world is a whole lot messier than parenting on TV. • Parenthood is a long-term project. • Parenting can be brutal on your self-esteem.

5. Kids force you to confront any “stuff” you may have tried to bury underneath the carpet. • Nothing can prepare you for the depth of love that you feel for your child. • The physical demands of parenthood are the easy part. It’s the emotional demands that can practically sink you.

6. Part 2: Family Sleep Solutions • Try to get your newborn to bed when he is sleepy but not overtired. • Work with—not against—your child’s basic biology. • Use the power of daylight to reset your child’s sleep-wake clock.

7. Work with your child's basic sleep-wake cycle when scheduling naps, timing bedtime, etc. (Learn what's age-appropriate so you can decide if your child could use some help getting his/her sleep patterns on track.)

8. Provide your newborn with a sleep environment that is sleep enhancing, not sleep inhibiting. Make sure your newborn’s sleep environment is safe, too. • Start thinking about how you’re gradually going to teach your baby self-soothing skills. (You want to start teaching your baby these skills by the time he is three- to four-months of age—the time when babies are capable of starting to learn about sleep associations.)

9. Think about how you’re going to ease your newborn into a more regular sleep and nap schedule. (Pay attention to his evolving sleep-wake rhythms and you’ll start to see patterns start to emerge.) • Avoid highly stimulating forms of activity right before bedtime or your child may be too wound up to go to sleep. Being physically active after dinner is fine (in fact, it's a great idea!), but having a family pillow fight five minutes before tuck-in time may make it difficult for your kids to settle down to sleep.

10. Don’t forget to practice good sleep habits (don’t overdo it with the caffeine or the alcohol, particularly close to bedtime; and make sure you’re getting enough physical activity to be physically tired at the end of the day) and make sleep a priority for yourself, too. • Think about what other steps you could take to be a better rested parent, even if your child is not yet sleeping through the night.

11. The No-Guilt Guide to Sleep Solutions Understand that there’s no one-size-fits-all sleep solution. Your job as a parent is to find the solution that's best for your family. When choosing between your various sleep-training options, you'll want to consider: • the age and stage of your child, • your child's temperament, • any special circumstances concerning your child, • your parenting style, • the day-to-day realities of your family's situation.

12. Recognize that deciding to leave things as they are for now (to see if your baby's sleep system simply needs to mature or your toddler is simply dealing with a temporary sleep challenge) is a valid sleep choice. Sleep issues aren't always "problems" that have to be "managed" by parents. • Consistency is key, but, flexibility is also important. (Yes, there are ways to have it both ways.)

13. When considering the right time to start sleep training (if, in fact, you're going to choose a sleep training method) decide if you are dealing with • a sleep concern (you're feeling worn down), • a sleep problem (you feel a sense of urgency to resolve the problem, for the same of yours and your child’s well-being) or • a sleep emergency (you've reached the crisis point and things need to change right away). • Do some research on the subject of sleep and sleep-training. Make sure that whatever method you decide on is in synch with your parenting philosophies and feels like something you could commit to.

14. You and your partner need to be on the same page when it comes to implementing your chosen sleep plan. Discuss your various options thoroughly until you can find some comfortable middle ground. • Line up some support if you're feeling completely exhausted. You can't function at your best when you're perpetually running on empty. So don't be afraid to give yourself a (sleep) timeout.

15. Part 3: Mealtime Solutions: The Basic Recipe

16. Parent-child struggles about food Where the worries come from: • My child isn't eating enough • My child isn't eating the right foods • My child has (or could develop) a weight problem Managing the worry • Daily intake vs. consumption over a longer period • Easy ways of keeping track of what your child is eating

17. My child isn't eating enough • My child isn't eating the right foods • My child has (or could develop) a weight problem • Daily intake vs. consumption over a longer period • Easy ways of keeping track of what your child is eating

18. Expect the unexpected: Growth spurts, illnesses, food jags, etc. • The parent's role and the child's role; other people who can help • Avoiding mealtime monotony and meltdowns • Adding more meal ideas to your menu rotation • Adding more "chefs" to your roster • Reducing the most common sources of mealtime stress (for parents and kids)

20. What's on the menu anyway?

24. An ages-and-stages mealtime worries trouble-shooting guide

25. Baby feeding-related worries and concerns: practical tips and advice • Baby feeding-related worries and concerns: practical tips and advice • When should I start solids? • What food(s) should I offer first? • Should I let my baby play with her food?

26. Toddler feeding-related worries and concerns: practical tips and advice • My toddler hardly eats anything at all. • My toddler only wants to eat grilled cheese sandwiches. • My toddler wants ice cream for breakfast.

27. Preschooler feeding-related worries and concerns • My child is constantly changing his mind about what he wants for dinner. • My child doesn't want to stay at the dinner table once he's finished eating.

28. Mealtime madness: ways to minimize the chaos and the battles • It's official! We're stuck in a convenience food rut.... • We never seem to manage to eat dinner as a family. • Restaurant survival strategies: when to go, where to go, what to do when you arrive, and what to pack in your restaurant survival kit

29. There's no one-size-fits-all solution to any parenting challenge • Do your research. • Tap into your community. • Trust your instincts and intuition and make the decision that's right for your family. THE MOTHER OF ALL® approach

30. Part 4: Discipline Techniques that Work for Parents and for Kids • Prevent the problem from occurring in the first place. • Find creative alternatives to saying no. • Give your child the opportunity make choices. • Allow your child to experience the natural or logical consequences of her actions. • Take away a privilege.

31. Master the art of selective ignoring. • Offer a distraction. • Apply positive reinforcement. • Discipline your child verbally. • Offer a timeout or otherwise remove your child from a difficult situation.

32. Part 5: The parenting toolkit: strategies for finding the support you need to be an effective parent • Put together your own parenting support network—people you can exchange ideas and experiences with and turn to for support on those inevitable bad days. It may be a mix of local and far away friends/relatives; real-world and online people you know.

33. Take parenting courses, read parenting books, visit parenting websites, and figure out what works best for you and your child. • Find out about programs, services, and other resources available to parents in your community.

34. Take regular breaks from the day-to-day demands of being a parent. Remember, parenting was meant to be a team sport! • Don't get caught up in the sport of competitive parenting—and teach your kids not to buy into the "more is better" mentality. Teach them to value what really matters: people, not stuff.

35. The Secrets of Effective Parenting: What Calm and Confident Parents Know Calm and confident parents.... • know how to manage the stress that goes along with being a parent. • have the ability to keep things in perspective—to see the big picture and not get too hung up on the small stuff.

36. understand that every stage of childhood and adolescence is a limited time offer. • are information junkies. They can’t learn enough about parenting. • are highly resourceful. • are wise enough not to demand perfection of themselves or their kids. • see parenting as an adventure—a journey not to be missed.