1. Love and Sexual Relationships

2. Love • What is love (your personal definition)? • Passionate Love • Intense feelings, anxiety, short-lived • Overlook shortcomings, self-focus • Companionate Love • Deep attachment, familiarity • Overcome shortcomings, other-focus

3. Implicit theories of love • Developed unconsciously, over time • Powerful • Unchallenged • Defaults • Sources of implicit theories of love • Parents • Peers • Media • Music, T.V., Movies, etc.

4. Analysis of a love song Students to analyze one of 9 songs: • Truly, madly, deeply (Savage Garden) • Drowning (Backstreet Boys) • My heart will go on (Celine Dion) • From this moment on (Shania Twain) • 2 become 1 (Spice Girls) • Commitment (LeAnn Rimes) • As long as you love me (Backstreet Boys) • Unchained Melody (Righteous Brothers) • Drops of Jupiter (Train)

5. Themes in North American Love Songs • Loss of control • Love lasts forever • Complete dependency on other person • Love solves all problems • “The one” – there is only one love for each • Connectedness, even when not together

6. Chinese Love Songs (Tothbaum & Tsang, 1998) • Collectivism vs Individualism • Independent vs Interdependent • Chinese vs North American Love Songs • Embeddedness 79% vs 39% • Embedded in natural world 43% vs 16% • Embedded in Relationship 55% vs 26% • Negative expectations for relationship • 69% vs 37% • Suffering expected: 69% to 47% • Intensity and Desire were similar across cultures • Chinese values of loyalty, devotion, commitment • Taoist yuan, futility of strivings

7. Models of Love Sternberg’s Triangular Model • Passion • Intimacy • Commitment Lee’s Styles of Loving Biochemistry • PEA, norepinephrine, dopamine  giddy, brief • Endorphins  soothing, pain relief, long-term