California Statewide Family to Family Convening

1. Anna Marjavi Anna@endabuse.org Leiana Kinnicutt Leiana@endabuse.org California StatewideFamily to Family Convening Preventing Teen Dating Violence January 18, 2007 www.endabuse.org

2. Family Violence Prevention Fund For more than two decades, the Family Violence Prevention Fund (FVPF) has worked to end violence against women and children around the world. www.endabuse.org

3. Presentation Outline • Teen dating violence (TDV) definition • Health effects of TDV • Violence and Reproductive health • Working with advocates and DV agencies • Assessing and identifying dating violence • Safety Planning • Promoting Resiliency

4. Teen Dating Violence • Defined as: • a pattern of repeated actual or threatened acts that physically, sexually or verbally abuse a member of an unmarried heterosexual or homosexual couple in which one or both partners is age twenty four or under.

5. Teen Rates of Abuse • 1 in 5 high school females has experienced physical or sexual abuse by a dating partner. • Pregnant teens are at greater risk for abuse than pregnant adults: 21.7% v. 15.9%.

6. Teen Rates of Abuse • In a survey of gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and queer identified youth, 49% of the respondents reported feeling abused by a partner in a past relationship. • Women aged 16-24 experience the highest per capita rate of intimate partner violence.

7. TDV is a serious public health problem. Health effects include: • Injury and Death • Eating Disorders • Unhealthy Weight Control • Substance Use • Suicide (ideation and attempts) • Risky Sexual Behavior • STIs • Unplanned pregnancy

8. Birth Control Sabotage • 50% of young mothers on public assistance experienced birth control sabotage by a dating partner ---Center for Impact Research, 2000

9. Dating Violence and Teen Pregnancy • Adolescent girls who experienced physical or sexual dating violence were 6 times more likely to become pregnant than their non-abused peers ----Silverman, et al, 2001

10. Low income adolescents who experienced physical or sexual abuse were: 3 times (or= 3.46) more likely to have a rapid repeat pregnancy within 12 months 4 times (or=4.29) more likely to have a rapid repeat pregnancy within 18 months ---Jacoby et al, 1999 Rapid Repeat Pregnancies

11. Other Effects • Poor self-image • Poor performance in school • Isolation from friends and family

12. Exposure to violence increases the likelihood of children experiencing: • Post traumatic stress disorder • Depression • Anxiety • Developmental delays • Future perpetration or victimization of violence ---Graham-Berman & Levondosky, 1998; Hurt et al, 2001; Lehman 2000; McCloskey and Walker 2000; Pfouts et al 1982; Spaccarrelli et all 1994; Wilden et al 1991

13. Partnering with DV Programs • Most communities have domestic violence advocacy programs; some have specific TDV programs. • Alliances with advocates will strengthen your CPS response. • As a first step, identify a DV community program and invite an advocate to work with your team. • Cross-training between CPS and DV programs can increase understanding of each other’s mandates and expertise, thereby building relationships. • Involve advocates in program planning, regular meetings and to review new materials/protocol. • Keep DV program brochures on hand for clients.

14. Partnering with DV Programs Continued • Advocates often assist TDV victims with confidential services including: • Safety planning • Identification of emergency housing/shelter if possible • Legal: restraining orders, orders of protection, accompaniment to court • Individual counseling (sometimes for both teens and their families) • Support groups • ID resources to help support young parents • Reducing feelings of isolation.

15. Challenges of Partnering with DV Programs • Philosophical differences exits between DV programs and CPS, although both focus on safety for families. • DV advocates are asked to collaborate on many issues in the community. • Finding emergency housing for teens may be difficult in the domestic violence network. • Most DV programs are not equipped to help teen boys who use violence or have experienced violence • As in CPS, there can be a lack of knowledge about providing services and support to LGBT victims and perpetrators of violence.

16. Helping Youth • Identification • Intervention • Referral

17. Identification Red Flags for girls who are victims: • Injury • eating disorders • substance use • STIs (testing and positive ID) • pregnancy (testing and positive ID) • emergency contraception • suicide attempt, ideation • Depression • Poor academic performance • Running away • Past/current exposure to violence

18. Identification Red Flags for boys who use violence: • Fighting/Aggressive behavior • Substance abuse • Overly controlling/jealous tendencies • Past/current exposure to violence

19. Considerations for Working with LGBT Youth • It may be difficult to identify both perpetrators and victims of TDV within LGBT relationships. • Partner with programs in your community that specificallyserve LGBT teens.

20. Identification/Assessment • Discuss limits of confidentiality. • Talk to youth in private. • Use a professional translator if needed. Never use a family member, friend or dating-partner. • Use non-judgmental language. • Establish rapport--calm demeanor, careful listening. • Use environmental supports (posters).

21. Framing Questions • Are you seeing anyone right now? • Are you sexually active? Is that with a guy or a girl or both? • Framing Questions: • “I don’t know if this is a concern for you, but many teens I see are dealing with relationship issues, so I’ve started asking questions about relationships routinely” • “I know I’ve known you for a long time, and I’ve never asked you about this before but recently I’ve been learning about how common dating-abuse is and I want to ask you. . .”

22. Asking Direct Questions • Have you ever been afraid of your partner? • Have you ever been hurt or threatened by your partner? • I see you have a bruise. I am very concerned that someone hurt you. Did anyone hurt you? • Have you ever been forced to do something sexual you didn’t want to do? • Have you ever been forced to drink or use drugs by your partner?

23. Indirect Questions • How do you feel your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner treats you? • What worries you about your relationship? • What happens when you and your partner argue? • Do you spend time with your friends? Why not? • Does your partner ever tell you who you can and cannot be friends with? • Does your partner, etc. ever tell you what you can and cannot wear?

24. Assessment/Identification cont’d • Create a safe environment for dialogue • Give supportive messages to victims • “I’m glad you talked to me about this today” • “You deserve to be treated with respect” • “This is not your fault” • “No one deserves to be hurt no matter what” • “I’m sorry this happened to you” • Support victim: “What do you want to see happen with the relationship?” “How can I help you?” “Have you thought about what your next steps may be?” • Express concern for safety

25. Defining Success • Our job is not to “fix” dating violence or tell victims what to do. • We can help victims by understanding their situation and recognizing how abuse can impact health and risk behaviors. • Success is measured by our efforts to reduce isolation, improve options for health and safety, and work towards violence prevention.

26. Teen Dating Violence: Barriers to Disclosure • S/he may blame herself for the violence or be fearful that disclosure will bring about further violence. • S/he may minimize the violence for fear of losing the relationship, or because s/he does not want to lose her/his friends or social status. • S/he may love the person even though s/he hates the behavior. • S/he may be ashamed to disclose that s/he is dating someone who abuses her/him. • S/he may think that no one cares.

27. LGBT Youth and Violence • Unsafe for some LGTB youth to be open to friends and family about their sexual orientation, gender identity and intimate relationships • A LGBT victim of dating violence may fear being “outted” • LGTB youth may face rejection from their families after “coming out.” Many young people are thrown out of their homes, mistreated, or become the focus of the family’s dysfunction.

28. LGTB Youth Con’td • One study found 28% of youth who experience verbal or physical assault based on their sexual orientation were forced to drop out of high school because of the harassment they experienced. • Two to three times more likely to attempt suicide than heterosexual youth. Up to 30 percent of the completed young suicides are committed by LGTBQ youth each year. • In one study, gay and bisexual adolescent males were shown to be seven times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers.

29. Safety Planning • Ending the relationship can be one of the most dangerous periods and may take time. • Make sure she has support from friends/family/school/community. • Go over a safety plan. • Give a brochure/information on dating violence and services available. • Schedule a follow-up meeting. • Give at least two referrals.

30. Strategies for Prevention Increase Resiliency by connecting teens with a supportive community/activity that makes them feel good about themselves and competent: • Connect teens with a mentor (coach, scout leader, after school programs, etc.) • Connect teens with a consistent, supportive, and protective adult; • Refer teens & mothers to therapeutic services and or trauma treatment • Promote messages about healthy relationships and positive gender identity formation; • Encourage parent involvement (talking to youth about healthy relationships); • Encouraging fathers to be positive role models (teaching boys that real men respect women and that violence never equals strength);

31. Have conversations about healthy relationships • Make this appeal to teens • How are they relating to boys/girls? • How do they see dating? Or going with someone? Or hooking up? • What are their expectations for a relationship? • What do they want out of a girl/boyfriend? • How do you talk to boys about how to treat girls?

32. Referral: 24-hour Hotlines • Teen Abuse Hotline 1-877-923-0700 www.lacasa.org toll-free, English/Spanish (statewide) teen outreach program, teen counseling (primarily serve Bay Area) • California Youth Crisis Line: 1-800-843-5200, toll-Free, English/Spanish (statewide) parents or youth • Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender Partner Abuse/Hate Crimes Hotline (415) 333-HELP, multi-lingual (statewide) • National Hotline on DV 1-800-799-SAFE

33. Contact information Anna Marjavi Family Violence Prevention Fund anna@endabuse.org Phone: 415-252-8900 Leiana Kinnicutt Family Violence Prevention Fund leiana@endabuse.org Phone:617-262-5900 Website: www.endabuse.org