Are you a perfect parent

1. ARE YOU A ‘PERFECT’ PARENT?

2. A Word To Parents… Well, if you have been constantly worrying about your parenting techniques, then let us relieve you with this one-liner ‘Perfect parents just don’t exist’. Most parents are pretty good parents and we learn and unlearn from experience everyday. Of course there are a few basic principles that a parent needs to follow to bring up happier kids. Let us take a look at these basic principles of parenting.

3. 1. What you do matters… This is something you should tell yourself everyday. The way you treat and respond to your child should be associated with the end you wish to accomplish. Ask yourself – how will my decision affect my child?

4. 2. There is nothing called too much loving • You just cannot love your child too much and shows of affection help to make them happier. • Your love will not spoil him/her; it is the superfluous gifts or leniency that might.

5. 3. Be as involved as you can • Be involved in each and every activity of your child. Show that you care. Set your priorities right so that you can spend more time with your child. This would mean plenty of sacrifice from your side. • Remember to be there physically as well as mentally.

6. 4. Adapt your style to fit your child • You need not follow your neighbour’s style. What works for them may not work for you. Each child is different and parenting styles also need to cater accordingly. • You may have certain expectations but do not smother the child because of them.

7. 5. Setting rules is important • You need to set rules for you child which must be followed. • Rules will vary as the child grows up but there is no room for leniency. • Do not frame very strict rules but be firm. • Remember the rules you set for your child will help him set rules for himself in his life.

8. 6. Make her independent • Set limits for self control and encourage independence to develop a sense of self direction. Both are required for a successful life. • Give her the freedom to make choices and decisions but guide her as best as you can. • Do not mollycoddle your child more than required. Children are independent beings too and will begin to disobey and rebel if you hold on too much or for too long.

9. 7. Be consistent about rules • Your rules should not fluctuate with your mood. This will send a wrong signal to the child and you will have yourself to thank if he misbehaves. • Intermittent enforcement of discipline will cause more trouble than you think. • Base your authority on wisdom and not power. • Be consistent about the non-negotiables.

10. 8. Harsh discipline is a ‘no-no’ • On no account does a parent reserve the right to hit a child. • Very harsh punishments can affect the child negatively and lead to behavioural problems. • It has been seen that bullies in school usually come from homes where parents spank the children.

11. 9. Explain to your child • Parents can explain to the child their rules and expectations that the child needs to live up to. (this does not include school grades) • Generally parents overexplain to young children and underexplain to adolescents, leading to more confusion. • Explaining to children makes them understand you better. One cannot expect kids to infer reasons behind your behaviour.

12. 10. Treat your child with respect • Give your child the same respect that you would expect from him/her. • Treat him/her with courtesy too and watch him/her emulate it with others. • Pay attention when he/she is speaking. • Ask for opinions. • Be kind. • The relationship you build with your child fosters the relationships he/she will develop in life

13. Again, we would like you to remember that there is nothing like ‘perfect parenting’ you can be a good parent by following the principles mentioned here. • Good parenting fosters psychological adjustment, honesty, empathy, self-reliance, kindness, cooperation, self-control and above all cheerfulness. • Good parenting helps a child succeed in school; it promotes the desire to learn and achieve while tickling their curiosity. It deters them from anti-social behaviour. • It also helps to protect the child from anxiety and psychological distress.

14. There is no more important job in the society than raising children…and there is no more greater influence on children than their parents. HAPPY PARENTING!