1 / 32

What About the Boys? How [Sex] Education Ignores Males and What You Can Do About It

What About the Boys? How [Sex] Education Ignores Males and What You Can Do About It. Elizabeth Schroeder, EdD, MSW National Middle Schools Forum Nottingham, UK October 2008. Who IS the Sex Lady?. International Sexuality Educator/ Consultant Executive Director, Answer

adah
Télécharger la présentation

What About the Boys? How [Sex] Education Ignores Males and What You Can Do About It

An Image/Link below is provided (as is) to download presentation Download Policy: Content on the Website is provided to you AS IS for your information and personal use and may not be sold / licensed / shared on other websites without getting consent from its author. Content is provided to you AS IS for your information and personal use only. Download presentation by click this link. While downloading, if for some reason you are not able to download a presentation, the publisher may have deleted the file from their server. During download, if you can't get a presentation, the file might be deleted by the publisher.

E N D

Presentation Transcript

  1. What About the Boys? How [Sex] Education Ignores Males and What You Can Do About It Elizabeth Schroeder, EdD, MSW National Middle Schools Forum Nottingham, UK October 2008

  2. Who IS the Sex Lady? • International Sexuality Educator/ Consultant • Executive Director, Answer • Sex, Etc. (www.sexetc.org) • Trainings & Online Professional Development • University Professor/Author

  3. Today’s Presentation • Combination of research and professional experience working with adolescent boys • Will focus on BOYS… not specific populations of boys & compare to girls • Will make generalizations

  4. Today’s Presentation • May sound like stereotypes/sexist at times, but… • Will go into areas that feel like digressions, but… • Some data from US: applicability to UK

  5. To teach boys… ...we must first UNDERSTAND boys • How do they learn? • From where/whom do they get support? • What do they know about sexuality? • What is the “boy code”? • How do THEY feel about sex and sexuality?

  6. To begin with… Education in general is failing boys…

  7. Boys Are More Likely Than Girls To… • Have discipline/behavior problems • Be diagnosed with a Learning Disability or Attention-Deficit Disorder • Be placed in special education • Drop out of school • Score lower grades; usually behind in reading/writing

  8. Boys have a unique learning style that is different from that of girls. Many girls may prefer to learn by watching or listening; boys generally prefer to learn by doing, engaging in some action-oriented task.

  9. What Do Boys Tell Us? When teased or bullied they have to: • "keep a stiff upper lip" • "not show their feelings" • "act real tough" • "not act too nice" • "just laugh and brush it off when someone punches you."

  10. The “Boy Code” • Are not suggestions about how they "might" deal. • Are strict rules they had absorbed about how they "must" behave • Genuine fear of what will happen if they break them.

  11. Why does this happen to them? How does this affect how they learn/interact with others?

  12. Adolescent Male Brain Development • Changing quickly, especially around abstract learning • Pre-frontal cortex (rationality) developing more slowly • Basically, learning academics more effectively, but not learning how to calm himself down or not be impulsive or aggressive

  13. What does this mean? Boys negotiate through rules; girls through relationships • Are trying to figure out the “moral order” – know rules, but curious about consequences for breaking them; notices inequality in how they are applied • Thinks he’s smart enough to determine which rules apply to him and which don’t. • Morally sensitive right now – got sick “because I did something wrong”

  14. How does this play out? • Key Developmental Task of Adolescence: Determining Identity • Needs to look like he knows what he’s doing – “I know, ok?” – when he doesn’t. • For girls: appearance important; for boys: appearances important (video games = private defeat)

  15. What’s the “normal” range for an adolescent boy? • May “one-up” people, especially peers: MALE BONDING  prep for the “real world” • Roughhousing • Humiliate and be humiliated • Feelings he was able to previously express in words now expressed through competitive activities he talks little about

  16. What’s the “normal” range for an adolescent boy? • Wants to be HIMSELF – different from parents, different from past • Eventually, different from peers • Looking to gain respect for what HE does and who HE is.

  17. What Does This Mean In Terms of Sexuality?

  18. Everything in an adolescent’s life revolves around sex and sexuality

  19. Boys “tell” us that… • NEED to be heterosexual. • NEED to have sex. • Want desperately to be good lovers. Consumed with giving partners orgasms. • Obsessed with penis size • Concerned about statutory rape laws. • Experience love in extremes.

  20. #1 Source of Sex Info PORN

  21. From Sex, Etc. “Hi. I'm very confused. I don't know if I'm gay, bi, whatever. I need you to tell me some signs for straight and gay or even bi boys. Please. I need to know; and I need to know now.” -- 15-year-old boy

  22. From Sex, Etc. “I am considering suicide because I do not now what to do after my girlfriend left me. She is the only one I love and I cannot go on without her” -- 14-year-old boy

  23. From Sex, Etc. “Is there anything i can eat, drink or buy to enlarge my penis? Like that pump thing, does it really works? I hav difficulties since young like u know getting undress in front my friends... My first lov broke up wif me... Sometimes i just wish i wasn't born at all. Suicidal thoughts often cross my mind. i really need ur help...pls” – 17-year-old male

  24. Boys and Body Image • an alarming increase in obsessive weight training and the use of anabolic steroids • toy action figures' increasing muscularity setting unrealistic ideals for boys just as Barbie dolls have been accused of doing the same for girls.

  25. Boys and Body Image • Boys who think they are overweight much more likely to try smoking • Like girls, not exercising for HEALTH, but for appearance (and performance)

  26. So What Can We Do? Focus on GENDER before SEX Nearly every aspect of sexuality is tied to gender, especially for males (e.g., being a “real man”; not being perceived as gay, etc.)

  27. Activity: Gender Brainstorm

  28. Activity: Hamilton’s Sons

  29. Activity: Media Messages

  30. Teaching Techniques • Consider separating genders (pros and cons) • Spend MORE time with boys… bridge the gender gap in sex ed • Speak their language – “waiting” vs. “abstaining” • Gender less important than respect

  31. More Techniques • Speak frankly… acknowledge pros and cons of waiting vs. sexual behaviors • Speak frankly… alternatives to sexual behaviors • Don’t avoid emotions; are taking your lead • Don’t try to scare, won’t work… PERSONALIZE but maintain boundaries

  32. And finally… • Use inclusive language, and remember diversity within diversity • Be consistent and REPETITIVE – one-shot sessions ineffective with boys (learn from media) • READ… get to know the RESEARCH, and adapt your existing activities/programs

More Related