Circle of Courage

1. Circle of Courage Donna Nikiforuk Feb. 26, 2013

2. What is Circle of Courage? • a model of youth empowerment supported by contemporary research and Native philosophies of child care. • is encompassed in four core values: belonging, mastery, independence, and generosity • is about living a well balanced, passionate life • is grounding – a calm, respectful approach to working with youth

3. Today’s Agenda • Background for Circle of Courage • Meet the mentors • Learn some key elements through this journey • How you can use Circle of Courage in schools • A little about Restitution Theory and RAP • Connecting C of C to Bullying Issues

4. Welcome!

5. Janzen Fun

6. What’s important in schools? • Safe environment • Competent teachers creating engaging lessons • Holistic teaching that honours the whole child • Academic, Social, Emotional, Spiritual, Physical • Okay to make a mistake • (How we respond when mistakes are made is key.) • O h WOW factor! See what I just learned! • Loads of fun happening daily • where staff and students love to be • Support for each other – staff and students HOW DO WE ACCOMPLISH THIS?

7. My Journey • Teacher, Itinerant, Vice Principal, Principal in RPS for 30 years • Three key influences: • President of Saskatchewan Health Educators Association – 1992 – 1994 • Restitution Theory – Diane Chelsom-Gossen • Circle of Courage – No Disposable Kids Conference in 2003 • Response Ability Pathways Trainer – 2007 (RAP) • A Career Highlight: Received the RPS Shared Values Award 2012 – nominated by my community

8. What I learned aboutRestitution Theory- Diane Chelsom-Gossen and William Glassier • Responding to 5 Needs • Survival: physical necessities • Belonging: love and compassion • Fun: passions, enthusiasm, feeding your spirit • Freedom: choices, daring to dream • Power: significant personal power, competence and mastery

9. External Motivation vs. Internal Motivation • External: • Is about rules > consequences and rewards • Internal: • Is about beliefs > acting because it is the right thing to do, because this is the person I want to be • Turn your language around: • I am proud of you > You should be so proud of yourself

10. THE CIRCLE OF COURAGE Generosity Belonging Independence Mastery When these needs are met, children are resilient and thrive.

11. Circle of Courage was a part of RAP. RAP training was piloted in South Africa. President Nelson Mandela formed a commission on young people at risk headed by his welfare minister. She chose Lesley du Toit (co-author of the RAP manual) to manage transformation of services to this population. The Circle of Courage and RAP became the model for training staff in child and youth care, education, and youth justice.

12. Meet those who developed this philosophy. Dr. Steve Van Bockern Dr. John Seita Dr. Martin Brokenleg Dr. Larry Brendtro

13. At a “No Disposable Kids”Conference, Larry started with… • A person who disrespects others is almost always one who has not been treated with dignity and respect themselves. • “Hurt people hurt people” • Shaming students into submission has been a core practice in adult dominance models of education. • “If I can make this person feel bad enough, they will never do this again” • Why doesn’t this work? • This just adds to the pain in their lives they already feel. • They stop thinking about their behaviour and start thinking about yours.

14. In a typical year, 3,000,000 children in the U.S. enter the child welfare system because of allegations of neglect or abuse. • 60% of victims of bullying experience their abuse at the hands of other kids…40% at the hands of adults • In 400 hours of video-documented episodes of bullying adults noticed and intervened in only one out of every 25 episodes (4% of the time). • Why? • They really don’t see most incidents. • They dismissed the incident as insignificant. • They didn’t know how to respond.

15. Adult behaviour that is liked • Calm • Joking • Offers to help • Fairness • Explains how and what • Politeness • Gets right to the point • Smiling • Positive feedback

16. Adult Behaviours that kids most dislike • Blaming and accusing • Shouting • No opportunity to speak • Insulting remarks • Unpleasant physical contact • Unfriendly or unpleasant • Bossing • Lack of understanding

17. Martin talked about… • Indicators of chemical abuse… • Jail study in South Dakota… • 60% of white population reoffend • 100% of First Nations population reoffend • Rehabilitation Non Present • Drinkers… • Characteristics of alcoholism can be traced to gr. 11…gr. 7…gr. 2. • Cycles of dysfunction • Violence… • Male vs. female (overt vs. covert) • Most violent year of school *What is it? Grade 7

18. Reclaiming Youth: Martin Brokenleg: • “A power struggle is like wrestling with a pig. The pig has fun and you get dirty.” • “It’s not mandatory, but it helps if we’re a little more disturbed than our children.” • “Reclaiming movement is just as much about a mindset as a practice.” • Seeing the greatness in children: • Einstein had a low-average IQ in school • Churchill was a behaviour problem

19. John referred to Seabiscuit… • Smallish… misunderstood… mishandled… runty little thing… lazy, dead lazy... mean… • Tom Smith: “Get me that horse… he has real stuff in him… I can improve him… I’m positive of it!” …seeing that everyone has strengths… “So long as you treat him like a gentleman, he’ll run his heart out for you.” “In the fiftieth start of his life, Seabiscuit finally understood the game.” “The fire that kept Seabiscuit frustrated and unruly [with his previous trainer] now fueled a bounding will to win.” “The horse, the jockey, and the trainer have to work in unison to win the race.” - the home, the community, the school

20. What Steve talks about… • How you build a Circle of Courage school. • Shared Vision • EQ is as important as IQ • Staff have instructional competence. • “Schools can be great places for children if they are led by competent and caring adults.”

21. The Circle of Courage In your groups, talk about words or phrases that would describe what each of these values is about.

22. Belonging: “You are unique” • Feeling like you belong includes: • Having friends • Having fun • Joining in • Playing well with others • Being okay with who you are • Helping others belong includes: • Accepting others as they are • Treating other respectfully • Including others • Being friendly, kind and helpful Throughout aboriginal history, the tribe, not the nuclear family ensured the survival of the culture.

23. Elephant and Dog Story http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBtFTF2ii7U

24. Don’t just talk about belonging, live it, demonstrate it, incorporate it into curriculum. Don’t Laugh at Me. - talk about the lyrics - talk about personal stories - allow kids to experience emotions

25. Mastery: “You are valuable” • Discovering what you are good at • Putting your best effort in, even when things are hard. • Learning • Problem Solving • Gifts and Talents • Discovering talents in sports, art, music and other things. The first lesson in traditional Native American culture is to carefully observe those with more experience in order to learn from them.

26. When we are looking for mastery… • Be on a treasure hunt, not a witch hunt. • Think about multiple intelligences • Know about self-regulation practices. • Consider adaptations that meet kids needs • Think about gifts and talents • What are your gifts? How do you use them?

27. Working with kids to achieve mastery… • Patience, patience, patience

28. How do boys and girls learn differently?From Leonard Sax – “Boys Adrift”When boys were asked, “What enables you tolearn?”, the following 4-‘F’s” emerged: • Fun • Firm • Friendly • Focused • Has nothing to do with the gender of the teacher • Boys will not learn from someone unless they think you like them.

29. Independence: “You have choices” Independence is about making good choices: • I know how to control my own behavior. • I know the right thing to do. • I make good choices. • It’s okay to make a mistake. Kids need to learn how to make positive choices. This is not done by adults telling them what they should do. It comes from helping them find the answers within them.

30. Making the right choices Think of all the challenges this boy has faced. What choices has he had to make in his life? He is a role model for us all to have the COURAGE to make the best of what we have and who we are and make daily choices that reflect this. X factor

31. Generosity: “You need others” Generosity is about giving and forgiving: • Sharing • Helping • Playing fair • Forgiving others when they make a mistake • Cheering people up when they are sad is about having a generous spirit A principal virtue in Native American Culture is generosity – giving time, showing respect and practicing a forgiving nature.

32. Making a difference Softball Dream

33. Traditional Haida Symbols • Raven: Wisdom (Mastery) • Whale: Family (Belonging) • Wolf: Independence (Responsibility) • Salmon: Generosity (Respect)  “Giver of Life”

34. What is the most influential thing a teacher can do? • Be a positive role model • Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.  • ~Robert Fulghum • Be the change you want to see in the world • Mahatma Gandhi

35. How do your children see you reacting to others? • If they see criticism, they will learn that. • If they see judgment, they will learn that. • If they see understanding and caring, they will learn that.

36. Connections to Bullying • What’s the difference between teasing and bullying? • What does it mean to be ‘kind’. Let’s adopt a ‘be kind to one another’ policy • What ways can we practice this? • Have kids help you list ways • Pay it forward • Model “kind” and point out when you see kindness

37. Connect Circle of Courage to Bullying • When you teach about the Circle talk about how it takes “courage” to be the best we can be. • Surveys help give us information and provide and a voice for students • Honour the results • What are the students saying? • Where do you need to focus your efforts?

38. Connections • Belonging – Mastery – Independence – Generosity • Have to begin with belonging so students feel accepted for who they are • Build on what student strengths are and what they have to offer. We build on these strengths for new learning. • Belonging and Mastery leads to making positive choices for self and in life long learning • Through developing a positive self, students learn then to be generous with others

39. Believe… • Believe in kids and all they can become. • Do you believe? • Don’t just know about the Circle of Courage, teach kids about it, talk about it, set goals using it.