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Sugar & Spice Dealing with Girl Bullies and Relational Aggression

Sugar & Spice Dealing with Girl Bullies and Relational Aggression. Rowan Seymour. Suspensions by Gender . 80% of suspensions over the past 4 years resulted from issues with interpersonal conflict. directed profanity opposition to authority threats harassment assault.

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Sugar & Spice Dealing with Girl Bullies and Relational Aggression

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  1. Sugar & SpiceDealing with Girl Bullies and Relational Aggression Rowan Seymour

  2. Suspensions by Gender • 80% of suspensions over the past 4 years resulted from issues with interpersonal conflict. • directed profanity • opposition to authority • threats • harassment • assault Rowan Seymour

  3. Reported Incidents Rowan Seymour

  4. What parents need to know about Relational Aggression in girls… • Current Thinking on Bullying • Boy Bullies & Girl Bullies • How Relational Aggression Works • How to Stop Relational Aggression • How to Prevent Relational Aggression Rowan Seymour

  5. What is Bullying? Dr. Dan Olewus • Overt Aggression (physical, verbal, social) • Directed • Pattern of behaviour • Negative intent • Power imbalance Rowan Seymour

  6. Name that Bully • Name your bully • Tell your story • Name your emotions Rowan Seymour

  7. Relational Aggression peer group involvement indirect harassment emotional intimidation indirect confrontation no resolution protracted time lines social-emotional risk Boy Bullies Girl Bullies • Physical Aggression • 1 on 1 conflict • direct threat • physical intimidation • public confrontation • physical resolution • short time lines • physical risk Rowan Seymour

  8. Dr. Nicki Crick, University of Minnesota Relational Aggression - harming others by damaging their peer relationships and feelings of social inclusion • Learned at an early age • Develops in complexity and risk • Reinforcement of social-behaviour patterns Rowan Seymour

  9. Nicole Werner,University of Minnesota • Relational aggression is not linked with socio-economic status • Boys are also relationally aggressive • Relational aggressionis stable • Children who are the frequent victims of relational aggression feel rejected, depressed, and submissive • Children who are highly relationally aggressive feel lonely and depressed Rowan Seymour

  10. Aggression Survey Results Rowan Seymour

  11. How Relational Aggression Works • Labelling • body image, trust, sexuality, maturity • Separation • Misinformation • gossip, notes, texting, MSN • Intimidation • looks, laughter, exclusion, jeer-leaders, bumping, threats, etc. • Isolation • Ostracism Rowan Seymour

  12. The Snowball Model of Relational Aggression Rowan Seymour

  13. The Snowball Model of Relational Aggression Rowan Seymour

  14. NEW BRUNSWICK SNIPER INJURES 14YR. OLD IN ONTARIO • MSN chat text Oct. 22/04 “…who do you think you are talking about brenda when she isnt even your friend you bitch im just telling you what people are saying about you and they say your making up lies in your retarded head now every body hates you and you have no friends.” • from Amy’s ex-boyfriend’s sister’s boyfriend’s sister who is 15 yrs old and lives in N.B.. She has never met Amy. Rowan Seymour

  15. Mean Girls “Last year I was the toughest girl in the school. What I really wanted was for people to like me but I was afraid. So I made them respect me or I’d turn their friends against them. People knew it was better to be my friend than my enemy.” – Brenda Rowan Seymour

  16. How can you stop Relational Aggression? • One at a time • Empathic approach (focus on feelings) • Identify all the players and the pattern • Agree on universal values • We all deserve to feel safe and happy • We all deserve to have good friendships • This is a pattern that needs to stop. Now. • The Magic Words • Accountability Rowan Seymour

  17. How can we prevent Relational Aggression? • Emotional Education • Building Better Friendships • Supportive Consequences • Support for Individuals • Support for Peer Group Rowan Seymour

  18. Risk Factors & Protective Factors • History of aggressive behaviour • Trouble with the law • Prior victim of bullying • Personality and behaviour (conduct disorder) • Substance use / abuse • Academic history • Family support / supervision • Peer influence (+ / -) • Recreational involvement Rowan Seymour

  19. What do adolescent girls need? • A ‘Girls Only’ Space • Love, Trust, and Validation from Caring Adults • Positive Role Models • To Belong • To Feel Competent and Worthy • Redefine ‘Friendships’ as safe, comforting, nurturing, trusting, and accepting Rowan Seymour

  20. Building a Safe & Caring Community Rowan Seymour

  21. Suggested Resources Rowan Seymour

  22. On Line Resources www.ocdsb.edu.on.ca Safe and Caring Schools Rowan Seymour

  23. Sugar & SpiceDealing with Girl Bullies and Relational Aggression Rowan Seymour

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