Goals and Obstacles Chapter 3 “Whoever wants to reach a distant goal must take small steps.” Saul Bellow, Novelist McGraw-Hill © 2010 McGraw-Hill Higher Education. All rights reserved.
Learning Objectives • Explain the importance of setting goals. • List the characteristics of well-set goals. • Distinguish between short-term and long-term goals. • Cite common obstacles to reaching your goals. • Recognize the causes and symptoms of stress. • Describe several strategies for relieving stress. • Explain ways to deal with anger constructively.
Setting and Achieving Goals • Goal An outcome you want to achieve and toward which you direct your effort. • A well-set goal has five characteristics. SMART Goals • Activity 13: Setting SMART Goals
Setting Goals continued… • Short-term Goal A goal with a specific plan of action to accomplish within the coming year. • Long-term Goal A goal you plan to achieve in the more distant future Success Secrets • Be proactive about your goals—only you can make them happen. • Be specific when setting your goals.
Tying Your Goals Together • Short-term and long-term goals are equally important. • Make sure your short-term goals will lead to your long-term goals by setting your long-term goals first. Then think of all the steps necessary to achieve each goal. • Once you have set your goals, make a commitment to reach them. Activity 14: Generating Short-Term Goals
Put It On Paper Norman Vincent Peale, Why Some Positive Thinkers Get Powerful, recommends these strategies: • Think about where you want to go in life. • Come to a firm decision about your basic goal. • Write down your goal in a clear statement. • Study and learn all you can about your goal. • Set a time for achieving your goal. • Make sure your decision about your goal is right. • Give your goal all your effort and never stop trying. • Be a positive thinker. • Once you have achieved one goal, go on to the next. Personal Journal 3.1 Goal Cards
Overcoming Obstacles • Obstacle Any barrier that prevents you from achieving your goals. • Perfectionism The belief that you are only worthwhile if you are perfect. • Adapting Being flexible to change. Common Obstacles • Trying to Please Someone Else • Not Really Wanting It • Being a Perfectionist • Trying to Go it Alone • Resisting Change
Obstacles continued… Success Secrets • Choose your goals to please yourself, not others. • Keep reminding yourself to stick to your goals. • Ask for support when you need it. • Adapt to change. • Sometimes obstacles are opportunities in disguise. Activity 15: Anticipating Obstacles
Handling Stress and Anger • Stress Your physical and psychological reaction to the demands of your life. • Stressor Anything that causes stress. It is normal to experience stress when faced with: • greater demands at school or work • changes in family relationships • new financial responsibilities • changes in your social life • exposure to new people, ideas, and situations • uncertainty or shame about sexual identity • internally generated demands, such as perfectionism, negative self-talk, or chronic worry and anxiety.
ABC model • Success Secrets • It’s normal to feel stress when faced with change. • Look for uplifts to offset the stresses of life.
Symptoms of Stress • Stress triggers a response from your autonomic nervous system (ANS) that monitors and controls most involuntary functions, including heartbeat and sweating. • Psychological and physical stress symptoms may include: fatigue, irritability, impatience, anger, muscle tension, insomnia, loss of appetite, ulcers, high blood pressure, coronary disease and cancer. Activity 16: How Stressed Are You?
Stress Management • Escape Response A behavior that helps you get your mind off your troubles. Positive Response You act in a way that does not harm you or add to the problem. Negative Response Activities that may make you feel better for a while, but actually increase your stress levels include overeating, drinking, drug abuse, avoiding responsibilities, and denial--refusing to face painful thoughts and feelings. Success Secret • Share your stress feelings with a trusted family member, friend, instructor, or advisor.
Stress Management 1 • Coping Skills Behaviors that help you deal with stress and other unpleasant situations which may include: • Daily Relaxation–meditation, music, watching nature, progressive muscle relaxation, etc. • Daily Exercise – walking, running, aerobics, yoga,any physical activity that helps you release tension. • Balanced Diet –high fiber, low fat, minimize salt, sugar, caffeine and alcohol intake. Be cautious of fad diets, high-energy foods and quick-fix alternatives to nutrition.
Stress Management 2 • Sleep –regularly get at least seven hours of complete rest. • Mental Discipline –meditation, biofeedback, self-hypnosis, martial arts, advanced yoga, tai’chi, ballet, etc. • Self-Esteem–positive self-talk, reflection on accomplishments. • Relationships –establish a trust-worthy support network. • Time Management –set priorities, make a time schedule. • Mental Stimulation –keep learning! • Recreation –engage in hobbies, sports, leisure activities.
Stress Management 3 • Spirituality –reaffirm values, meditation, prayer, etc. • Reality Check –when stress hits, stop, assess the situation. Am I overreacting? • Laugh It Off–keep your sense of humor! • Clarity–periodically review your dreams and goals. Remind yourself why you are doing what you are doing. Success Secret • Make time for relaxation every day. Personal Journal 3.2 Stress Management Techniques Activity 17: Personal Stressors and Relievers Personal Journal 3.3 Stress Relief Reminders
Anger and Responses to Anger • Anger A strong feeling of displeasure, resentment and hostility that results from frustration. Examples? • Aggression Behavior intended to harm or injure a person or object. Examples? • Passive-Aggression Indirect, disguised aggression toward others. Examples? Success Secrets • Figure out what makes you angry—and why? • Express your emotions calmly and with reason.
Coping With Anger • You can’t control every situation that causes you to feel angry. • You can control your anger and make a conscious effort to use your energy to come up with solutions to the problem that caused the anger. • Anger is a trigger for your body that releases adrenaline and cortisol, which working together weaken your immune system. Every time you get angry it hurts your health.
Healing Anger Constructively • Sandy Livingstone, Dealing With Anger. Anger arises when we perceive that something might happen to: frighten us, hurt us, threaten us, make us feel powerless. Personal Journal 3.4 Anger Triggers • Take Positive Action It is possible that the problem lies in how you are looking at others. Work out the current situation without bringing up past issues or other conflicts.
Healing Anger continued… Try AssertivenessStand up for your rights without violating the rights of others. Examples: • Deal with minor irritations before they become anger-triggering • situations. • Ask for help when you need it. • Say “no” to unreasonable requests. • Speak up if you are not being treated the way you want to be treated. • Be open to positive, constructive criticism and suggestions. • Use calm body language and maintain good eye contact. • Practice active listening: showing a desire to listen, being attentive to the other person’s words and body language. Success Secret • Change what you can and accept what you can’t.