Negotiation Skills for Women

1. Negotiation Skills for Women Knowing what you want and how to go get it!

2. Everyday you negotiate! • Even if you don’t think about it that way – you still negotiate throughout your day • No one is born a skilled negotiator – it takes practice • Remember: • Everything is negotiable • Female vs Male negotiation styles do differ • There are resources to help you learn to negotiate confidently • You can overcome the common mistakes made in negotiating

3. Why don’t we negotiate? • We don’t want to offend • We want/need to be friends with everyone • It upsets the balance • Hard to separate personal vs business • We don’t want to disagree • Concerned what others think • Question our own value; Am I worth it?

4. Everything is negotiable • Almost everything is life is negotiable if you see it that way • Opportunities to negotiate exist in almost every interaction • You’re probably better at it than you think! Can I have an ice cream mum? I’d rather you had an apple Let’s go to the coast for Christmas I take it you mean the Gold Coast?

5. Female vs Male Negotiation Styles • Do any of these sound familiar? • Not asking for what you want for fear of damaging a relationship • Being hesitant about saying no because you’d like to keep everyone happy • Having much greater success at negotiating for someone else than your self • Getting flustered and emotional if a negotiation gets heated • Thinking the louder, tougher or smarter you are the better your chance at negotiation success

6. Men & Women have different negotiation styles • Women value relationships over outcome • Men leverage relationships to achieve goals • Women make decisions based on what they feel they need rather than what they are worth • Men are more likely to ask for what they want • Women are more likely to wait to be recognised • Men talk for longer and interrupt more often! • Men use more direct language • Men tend to display more confidence than women in performance oriented settings • Women tend to set more modest goals

7. Handy female instincts • Negotiation is about relationships….and girls are good at relationships! • Perception is a stronger natural instinct in females than males • Picking up non-verbal signals (body language) • For the first 2 years or so females need to communicate with children who cannot use language • Negotiation is ultimately an exercise in two-way communication • Needs exist on both sides of the table • Perspectives, ideas and feelings differ • Shared understanding = mutual solutions

8. When is it worth it? • While everything might be negotiable, you don’t want to negotiate about everything • The key….. YOU decide what’s worth negotiating • Identify & clarify your personal & professional goals • If you’re heart’s not in it, you’re less likely to be successful

9. Dissection of a negotiation • Negotiation is based on how important something is to two parties: yourself and the other negotiator • Research is a critical yet hidden component • Two-way communication process • Demands & concessions (give and take) • Precedents: what went before • Experience: how often you’ve done this • Personality traits and confidence • Other parties: mediators, third-parties • Outcomes: immediate and/or ongoing

10. Tips for stronger negotiation

11. 10 steps before the conversation

12. What is BATNA? • Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement • Draft in advance • Think like the other party – what’s most important to them, where are they most likely to compromise • Equally – what’s more important to you, where would you be willing to compromise to give the other party a ‘win’

13. Before the conversation 60% of the negotiation occurs before the conversation starts! The best negotiators do their pre-work meticulously

14. Preparation builds confidence • Identify what it is you actually want • Prepare your arguments in advance based on objective research • Bring your notes in with you or send an agenda outlining your key points in advance • In a business setting, try to tie your desired outcomes with the objectives of the team or company • Not “ you say as a company that you respect work/life balance so give me a four day week” • What would you say instead?

15. Think collaboration – Not confrontation • Mutual goals or win-win • Understand not just your needs but those of the other side • Have pre-prepared your give and take • What is a nice to have that you are prepared to compromise on if needed? • Getting fired up and emotional can lead to an adverse outcome • Challenges are predictable: anticipate how the other person/party is likely to react and think about specific ways to respond

16. Be Yourself! • Common mistakes: • Adopting a negotiation style that does not reflect who you are (one you are not comfortable with) • People see through you if you’re trying to be something you are not (you will look weak) • You can be quiet and calm but still be strong • You can disagree politely (no need for aggression)

17. Engaging & gaining buy-in • The best negotiations are exercises in two-way conversations • Active listening, asking questions, reinforcing your desire for a mutually beneficial outcome • Making sure the other party is being heard is a sign of respect • Show appreciation for differences in perspective • “let me clarify that I understand where you are coming from”

18. Avoiding clichés & disclaimers • Don’t use jargon and clichés • Table thumping and aggression rarely work and are just embarrassing • “I think…”, “I feel…” are less forceful terms than “It’s clear that…” or “The market shows us that….”

19. Stay focused & on target • Keep to the point – don’t deviate • Ask for more time to consider if you need to • You usually don’t have to make a decision to accept an offer immediately • One conversation might not culminate in the final decision • Remember - negotiation is a process

20. Seek a mentor • Learn from someone who displays outstanding negotiation skills • Use this as an opportunity to practice • Role play your negotiations prior to conducting them • Ask your mentor for objective feedback • A little pep talk can do wonders for your confidence!

21. Common mistakes • Not being willing to say no • No is the most powerful word in negotiating! • Successful negotiators know when & how to say no • Prepare properly, know your options, be flexible and be realistic • Remember that saying no isn’t personal • You must be able to disagree rather than give in to something that is contrary to your interests but you can be flexible in how to satisfy your interests • Not negotiating well when it’s for yourself • Negotiate for yourself as if you were negotiating for someone else (your colleagues, your kids, your family)

22. Ask for It: How Women Can Use the Power of Negotiation to Get What They Really Want (Linda Babcock & Sara Laschever) • www.careerwomen.com • www.negotiations.com

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