Say This!

1. Say This! I3 wougs 1?) sag what You Mean A’: Ger whadr You waunf

2. __, _j_. .4,_ EE EEIISEHIIEFEIE (‘W1/0L1' gvasfionsg mm , nmamamamnmu 4” W” “W? mum ma: Z . ~«—. .EE__E/ ~ « [E m E umasmnnmaa / /heiieVeY gov ask someone a gvesiion. ‘TWST ask govrseif, “ls ThaT a Yes/ No gzesiion? " | l‘T iT is, change iT T0 The muliipie-choice OY open-ended voLrIe’rg. l This PUTS The ball sgvoureig iii The 0TheY person's GOWT. and hail also elicit a more Informoufive response. Instead of socging, " ll’ ll

3. EH3 E-ilililiflflli EIEIIEIIJ l3E3lil3l3ElI]El[i]E‘3fl l3I][i][I[i]E]l3 l3lE[i]E]I]I]El[i]E]E-Bl one WOYd - one | iT‘Tie WOYd - can change one's eniire per eciive and aififvde. when gov hear govrseif sfarfing to ask a condifionai “l1". .” avesfion, rephrase ‘If to ‘Incorporate govr posifive expecrafion. Instead or saging, " sag “when Will gov-? " Thar one small change airers the intent or The sentence; the expecrafion ‘Is the the person WIII perform the acfion.

4. ’_, __. _._. _‘ mama ( lrecommend l W35 WEBB WEE] » EEQEEW mama whenever gov set out to "sell" an idea. service, or product, focus on the benefits to the other person and use the word "recommend" to initiate the sale. It's a personal recommendalion, one that shows gov've applied some thought to filling a need or addressing an opportvnitg. instead of saging, " ll’ ll ll

5. [! ][{]l3[i] EIIII E]El[i]I [! ]El[i] Ell E-3[I[iJli E-3E] ifillflil Eefore gov agree to do angthing gov're onlg half svre gov want to do, take a iime—ovt. Decide ll’ gov Will be able T0 d0 a great job, eniog doing lT, and finish lT WlTh0i}T interrvpiing 140W other, more important prioriiies. ll’ gov decide that gov d0ii'T reallg want T0 (10 lT, sag 50. instead of saging, " sag “No, I wont. I do appreciate govr asking. "

6. EHEEIE1 El[Il [HIE liElE’il]I]EJl§ EIIIIIEEIEJIBI [BE] l! ][{lEl EIEI l! ]El[Il El EIEJEIEIEJI use “I want T0" T0 describe the positive ovtcomes gov envision, rather than saging WhaT lg0i)'d "hate T0” have happen. instead of saging, " sag "I want to help gov get the right information. " Whleh version svggests a more optimistic 0VTl00k7 FOCUS Oil the desirable, posilive end result, HOT the negaiive potenlial.

7. [i]Ell3 IE] l3El[i][i]I][i]l§[il E][i]E] ElEl[! ] [{]lBlElIllEl[{lI Tell govrself and evergone else what lgOU hall (10, HOT what lgOU'll TYlg TO d0. Instead Of saging, “ ", sag “I Will (10 if. " Notice the difference it makes in govr commitment to taking an action. as Well as in others" impressions of govr seriousness about the task at hand. Prgect relialoilitg.

8. iiililli Inlilinlilla I'll be glad to. mlnlafias-3 El Euamamaaa IIIEI El mmamlililll You want to give people a positive impression of govrself. each time lgOU begin TO sag “l have TO". substitute a phrase that shows lgOU'll be glad TO. Notice the difference it makes in govr own mood and in others’ attitudes towards cooperating Wi1'h gov. saging “ill be glad to call gov back. " rather than " " makes gov feel better while also putting the other person in a more cooperative frame of mind.

9. Imam Ill m rm sorrg. l magma , «’T’T; "“*-2 ii] . REEE” namnnanaaa whenever lgOU make a mistake, admit lT readilg and sag gov're sorrg. Defuse potential emotional flare-ups, avoid confrontations. and build others’ respect for govr character bg facing facts, admitting the truth, and apologizing. instead of saging, " ll’ ll

10. Elfilifilil El Elllllilii-3I E-3l§[i]E-3|? El lElI][E[i]EE-3E-3 [! ][I]E[i] ElIl[i]I]EE-3 Ellifli-ilil whats the fairest wag? whenever gov feel that people are about to treat gov vnjvstlg, appeal to their own sense of fairness. in the few cases where theg proceed to act vnfairlg, forget about it. instead of saging, " sag "considering the facts, what would be the fairest wag to handle this? "

11. Ig/ ’§"-. , EEEHE EEEEE EE EEEEEEEEEE-3 EEE EEE EEEHHEEI I believe. You're not "just" or "onlg" angthing, so stick up for gourself; if gov don't, no one else Will. instead of saging, " SW4 ll ll. which prgects self—worth and sounds like a confident person?

12. EIEEEE EJBJE EEKEEELEEEE lunderstand. Eliilaialaii IIEEEJEE E][i]E E [liE[i] EElEl: lnI.3 i1llI: Ii: l mamas: Rather than suggesting that someone else's / ieWPOiHT is less valid than lgOUY OWH. accept HeW ideas and let them coexist alongside govrs. Then tap the merits of both approaches and come up with an even stronger alternative. instead of saging, " sag "i understand, and I'd like to consider some more viewpoints. "

13. EE EE llearned. EEEEEE EEE EEEE EEE EIIEEEEI when gov're confronted with a "failure", look for the lessons gov can learn and grow from the experience. i NeXT time (gOU'll d0 better! Instead Of’ saging, “ ”, sag "Here's what I learned .3’ Remember Henrg FOYd'S def iHiliOH= "Failure is the OPPOYTUHiTlg TO begin again, more intelligentig"

14. EEEEEE EE EIEEEIJEEE E-3[l]EEEE[i]I][i]EE-3! EE EEEE EEEE [IJEEI STOP making excuses and apologizing ‘TOY some imagined short-coming. l either change iT OT forget about iT. l it's better to be silent than to feel gov need to explain for everg little thing. instead of s in I " l, ’ M 6 sag nothing! l clean the mess, OY simplg accept iT.

15. EEEEE I . I recommend. . whats the what oluestions do gov have?

16. Ideas adapted from: Whaf YOU 90.14 IS N| f(L1' YOU (MT How to Master Power Talking. the Language of success 6:4 (aeorge R. warrhzr