Using WRAP to Develop a Strong System of Support

1. Using WRAP to Develop a Strong System of Support Mary Ellen Copeland PhD The Copeland Center for Wellness and Recovery Sponsored in partnership with Essential Learning December 16, 2009

2. Continuing Education Credits Continuing Education credit is provided through the Mary Ellen Copeland’s partnership with Essential Learning, an approved CE provider. Essential Learning, LLC is approved by the American Psychological Association to sponsor continuing education for psychologists. Essential Learning, LLC maintains responsibility for this program and its content. Available Accredited CEUs: APA, ANCC, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC

3. This information in this webinar will be useful to people who: have developed and use their own WRAP lead WRAP groups work with people who use WRAP as their guide to recovery want to develop and keep a strong system of support

4. It will be helpful if you need to answer questions from: people you are working with and supporting WRAP group participants people attending follow up support groups and recovery groups

5. Earliest studies (1988-1994) showed the importance of support in working toward Wellness and Recovery.

6. Later studies provided more data on how to develop and keep a strong support system.

7. They also addressed the importance of enjoying time alone. People who had strong support systems and enjoyed being alone had few issues with loneliness and seemed to have greater success as they worked on their recovery.

8. As you work through the WRAP process for developing and keeping a strong support system, add in tools and strategies that help you enjoy and even crave time alone.

9. Before we begin working on specifically on developing a WRAP for building and keeping support, I want to share with you some key points I have learned about support through my studies.

10. Support from family, friends, and care providers promotes wellness and recovery. Being effectively supported helps people feel better and enriches their lives. People in recovery benefit from having at least five good friends or supporters.

11. Someone to talk and share with Companionship/to have a good time Help in figuring things out and making decisions Someone to take over and keep you safe when you can’t take care of yourself

12. These are people who: Care about you Empathize with you Affirm and validate you and your experience Accept you as you are Listen to you and share with you

13. Advocate for you Enjoy sharing fun and interesting activities with you Make decisions for you when you can’t do this for yourself Are willing to follow your predetermined plans

14. Good Supporters Listen, listen, listen Empathize, empathize, empathize

15. They know that unasked for advice, criticism and judgments won’t help and will make the other person feel worse.

16. You may have to educate your supporters about what you want and need. And ask them what they want and need from you in return.

17. Relationship Enhancers Positive Self Esteem Taking good care of yourself Mutuality Respecting boundaries

18. Keeping in touch Treating others with unconditional high regard Avoiding people who treat you badly

19. Using "I" statements Listening well, sometimes to the same story over and over Being clear about what you can listen to and what you can't

20. Accepting the other person's view of reality Staying with someone when they are having a hard time

21. Relationship Spoilers Feeling that others won't like you Not taking good care of yourself Treating others badly

22. Acting in ways that may be embarrassing to others Being needy and draining Interrupting Sharing "I can top that stories" Giving advice

23. Criticism, judgment, sarcasm, Put Downs Dragging Up the Past Labels Negative Comparisons, Badmouthing Others

24. Threats, Taunting, Ridicule Judgmental “you” messages Rudeness Breaking confidentiality

25. One Person Doing All the Talking “Know It All” Behavior Wanting You to be only Their Friend Flirting with Your Partner

26. Controlling Behavior Not Wanting to be Seen with You in Public Places Clinging or Very Needy Behavior Inappropriate Sexual Talk

27. Supportive Statements I am here for you. I care. What happened? I am sorry that happened to you. That sounds really hard. I'm here to listen How can we work together so you can feel better.

28. Begin by taking very small steps, gradually expanding your circle of supporters: Start by sharing more openly with one person you know very well. Invite that person to share an activity with you. When you feel ready, choose another person with whom you are willing to share

29. 4. A next step might be going to a peer center or support group. 5. Gradually share more openly with people in the group. 6. If you become uncomfortable with a person or a group, choose others to be supporters.

30. WRAP Wellness Toolbox Daily Maintenance Plan Triggers and an action plan Early warning signs and an action plan When things are breaking down and an action plan Crisis Planning Post Crisis Planning

31. Using WRAP You Decide When you develop it How long you take What you put in it When you revise it How you use it in your life

32. Wellness Toolbox Who can be your supporters Connecting with supporters Beginning and maintaining relationships Being with supporters Activities with supporters Things to do alone

33. Who can be your supporters Family members Friends Colleagues Peers Health care providers

34. In choosing supporters: Avoid limiting your options. Supporters can be any age, shape, size, sex, sexual orientation, and from any religious, cultural, ethnic, educational or economic background.

35. Support groups and peer support centers are great places to meet potential supporters.

36. Connecting with Supporters Where did you meet people who are now your friends? Community activities Support groups Volunteering Work

37. Special interest groups Religious and spiritual activities Educational activities Neighbors

38. Beginning and Maintaining Relationships Reaching out Introducing yourself Chatting Arranging to get together

39. Phone call check-ins Staying connected Respecting boundaries

40. Being with Supporters Listening Sharing Empathizing Peer counseling/exchange listening Check-ins

41. Problem solving Supporting through hard times Using "I" Statements Respecting boundaries

42. Activities with Supporters Cooking Sports Exercise Movies, plays, concerts Talking Eating

43. Things to Do Alone Creative arts Writing Music Exercise Reading

44. Decorating your living space Gardening Fixing things Meditation

45. Add new tools that have to do with support whenever you notice or discover them Loneliness Book Winning Against Relapse Self help books

46. The internet and social networking sites Friends and supporters Care providers Classes, workshops, seminars, groups

47. What I am like When I am Well Think about times in your life when you felt connected with another person or other people and when you didn’t feel lonely. Make a list, write a story, draw a picture, make a collage that describes what that felt like. If you can’t think of such a time, write how you would like it to be.

48. Refer to this page whenever you need to be reminded of what you are working toward, of what you want to feel like when you have a strong support system, are using it well or when you are enjoying spending time alone.

49. Daily Maintenance Which Wellness Tools do you need to use every day to assure that your support system is strong? Check-in/reality check Call at least one friend or family member Avoid people who treat me badly Have a meal with a family member

50. Have a 5 minute exchange listening session with a supporter Spend at least 1/2 hour doing something fun alone