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Why am I so horny all the time?!. Abe the Angry Elephant. Dear Dr. Tatiana,
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Why am I so horny all the time?! Abe the Angry Elephant
Dear Dr. Tatiana, Perhaps you can help. I don’t know what’s happened to me. I’m a twenty seven year old African elephant, and I used to enjoy showering at the water hole and other idle pleasures. But the joy has gone from life. I feel angry all the time-if I see another bull elephant, I want to kill him. And I’m obsessed with sex. Night after night I have erotic dreams, and the sight of a beautiful cow sends me into a frenzy. Worst of all my penis has turned green. Am I ill? Anxious in Amboseli
Dr. Tatiana’s explanation • You just have a case of SINBAD: Single Income, No Babe, Absolutely Desperate.
Cont... • You are likely to be in this state for twenty years, female elephants prefer older males and until your older the cows will run from you. • Females in many species often provoke males into fighting over them. • Usually they stand back to watch the battle and then mate with the winner.
Other Species that enjoy seeing mates fight: • Northern elephant seals: create rumpus when male tries to mount them causing all other fellows on the beach to come running. • Burmese jungle fowl(ancestor of farmyard chicken) :gives loud squak after laying egg signaling for others to come fight over who will fertilize the next egg. • Termites: males and female couples live in nest. If female is unhappy with male she will invite another male into the nest causing a fight.
Size is Crucial In fighting, whether you are an elephant or a snake, size matters. Usually the larger one wins ( if you know what I mean).
What is Musth? Musth is a certain time of year when male bull elephants are in a fighting stage. For young males it lasts only a few days. For older males it can last up to four months! When a bull is in musth, the amount of testosterone in his blood soars to levels 50x higher than usual. This stage of musth is what causes the penis to turn green. Hmm…that explains why I’m so horny!
Conclusion • The symptoms of horniness and violent behavior can be explained by the musth. • The greenish tint on the penis is also caused by musth due to the constant dribble of urine during this stage. • If you are rather small, Dr. Tatiana advises that you stay away from fights because the larger of the two usually wins.
The End Melissa Budd December 1, 2004 Biology 307
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