Porn Free

1. Porn Free • Behavior Modification, or Heart Change? Brian Gardner, Xenos Christian Fellowship Xenos Summer Institute 2012

2. What is the bad approach? • Meet my friend John Xenos Summer Institute 2012

3. What’s going on here? What’s the matter with John? • “sin management” • "…make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.” (Romans 13:14) • So, what’s wrong with that? Xenos Summer Institute 2012

4. sub-biblical, truncated theology • "If with Christ you died to the elemental spirits of the world, why, as if you were still alive in the world, do you submit to regulations— “Do not handle, Do not taste, Do not touch” (referring to things that all perish as they are used)—according to human precepts and teachings? These have indeed an appearance of wisdom in promoting self-made religion and asceticism and severity to the body, but they are of no value in stopping the indulgence of the flesh.” (Colossians 2:20–23) Xenos Summer Institute 2012

5. sub-biblical, truncated theology • "If with Christ you died to the elemental spirits of the world, why, as if you were still alive in the world, do you submit to regulations— “Do not handle, Do not taste, Do not touch” (referring to things that all perish as they are used)—according to human precepts and teachings? These have indeed an appearance of wisdom in promoting self-made religion and asceticism and severity to the body, but they are of no value in stopping the indulgence of the flesh.” (Colossians 2:20–23) Xenos Summer Institute 2012

6. "Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming. In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.” (Colossians 3:5–8) • the problem: the belief that restrictions have the power to change us... they do not Xenos Summer Institute 2012

7. It doesn’t work • "For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.” (Matthew 15:19) Xenos Summer Institute 2012

8. It doesn’t work • We minimize what is required of us Xenos Summer Institute 2012

9. It doesn’t work • We minimize what is required of us • We minimize what needs to be confessed Xenos Summer Institute 2012

10. It doesn’t work • We minimize what is required of us • We minimize what needs to be confessed • We inevtiably cut a deal with our sin nature Xenos Summer Institute 2012

11. It doesn’t work • We minimize what is required of us • We minimize what needs to be confessed • We inevtiably cut a deal with our sin nature • Your sin nature has to get the permission of your mind to engage your will to action. Xenos Summer Institute 2012

12. “Deceit properly affects the mind; it is the mind that is deceived. When sin attempts any other way of entrance into the soul, as by the desires, the mind, retaining its right and sovereignty, is able to give check and control unto it. The mind or understanding is the leading faculty of the soul, and what that fixes on, the will and desires rush after, being capable of no consideration but what that presents unto them. Hence it is, that though the entanglement of the desires unto sin be oftentimes most troublesome, yet the deceit of the mind is always most dangerous. Xenos Summer Institute 2012

13. It doesn’t work • We minimize what is required of us • We minimize what needs to be confessed • We inevtiably cut a deal with our sin nature • We fall under the reign of a tyrant Xenos Summer Institute 2012

14. “Sin aims always at the utmost; every time it rises up to tempt or entice, might it have its own course, it would go out to the utmost sin in that kind. Every unclean thought or glance would be adultery if it could; every covetous desire would be oppression, every thought of unbelief would be atheism, might it grow to its head.” • “Deceit is always carried on by degrees, by little and little, that the whole of the design and aim in hand be not at once discovered.” Xenos Summer Institute 2012

15. “After the English Parliament’s 1938 appeasement in Czechoslovakia, Churchill saw the danger of choosing peace, when honor and common sense called for battle. History, of course, would confirm his point: Refusing to fight an honorable battle may afford a temporary peace, but in the long run, it’s a peace too costly. Delaying a necessary battle may well result in devastating, full-scale war. Every man who’s gotten involved in sexual sin makes a decision between battle and dishonor. And as always, dishonor looks like an easier choice...” Xenos Summer Institute 2012

16. “Dishonor means making peace with your sin. It means telling yourself that after so many years, it’s become such a part of your life that trying to cut it out would be too traumatic, too uncomfortable. It would mean saying goodbye to a reliable (though destructive) friend, and the battle to abstain from this “friend,” with all the temptations and struggles it would involve, seems too demanding. So a dishonorable compromise is reached when a man decides to live in peaceful co-existence with sexual sin...” Xenos Summer Institute 2012

17. But tyrants never co-exist peacefully. By their nature, they demand increased territory, fewer limitations, more captives. So the sin that a man decides not to go to war against – the pornography, the affair, the commercial sex – soon demands more territory. It begins invading his career, his family, health and reputation. By the time he realizes he has to go to war against it, he’s already relinquished too much ground. Now he finds that what could have been a brief skirmish, if paid attention to early, has become full-blown war. He chose dishonor over battle. In the end, he winds up with both.”Joe Dallas Xenos Summer Institute 2012

18. when it works, it crushes the joy of the Christian life • "“And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward.” (Matthew 6:16) • "More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.” (Romans 5:11) • "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.” (Philippians 4:4) Xenos Summer Institute 2012

19. Behavior Modification • sub-biblical • it doesn’t work • We minimize what is required • We minimize what needs to be confessed • We cut a deal with our sin nature • We fall under the sway of a tyrant • when it does work, it crushes the joy of the Christian life Xenos Summer Institute 2012

20. The dynamics of heart change • know sin • hate sin (repentance) • know the total forgiveness and grace of God • be astounded at the love of God Xenos Summer Institute 2012

21. know sin • “If you know your enemy and know yourself, you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles; if you do not know your enemy but do know yourself, you will win one and lose one; if you do not know your enemy nor yourself, you will be imperiled in every single battle.”Sun Tzu - The Art of War • the sin nature, indwelling sin, the old man, the flesh Xenos Summer Institute 2012

22. know sin • "For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit”(1 Peter 3:18) • "For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures” (1 Corinthians 15:3) Xenos Summer Institute 2012

23. know sin • "For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand.” (Romans 7:18–21) Xenos Summer Institute 2012

24. know sin • "For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand.” (Romans 7:18–21) Xenos Summer Institute 2012

25. know sin • "For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand.” (Romans 7:18–21) Xenos Summer Institute 2012

26. know sin • "For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand.” (Romans 7:18–21) Xenos Summer Institute 2012

27. know sin • "For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand.” (Romans 7:18–21) Xenos Summer Institute 2012

28. know sin • "For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand.” (Romans 7:18–21) Xenos Summer Institute 2012

29. know sin • a principle within us fueld by enmity to God • cannot be tamed; it can only be killed • see it for what it is • legalism does not go far enough! • “Cheer up, you’re worse than you think!” Xenos Summer Institute 2012

30. hate sin • “Hatred of sin as sin, not only as galling or disquieting, a sense of the love of Christ in the cross, lies at the bottom of all true spiritual mortification.”John Owen - The Mortification of Sin Xenos Summer Institute 2012

31. hate sin • Does sin cloud your relationship with God? • Does sin take away your joy? • Does sin have spiritual impact on you? • Does sin have an impact on your relationships? • Am I just trying to make you feel guilty? Xenos Summer Institute 2012

32. hate sin • “Such an awareness of my sinfulness does not drag me down, but actually serves to lift me up by magnifying my appreciation of God's forgiving grace in my life. And the more I appreciate the magnitude of God's forgiveness of my sins, the more I love Him and delight to show Him love through heart-felt expressions of worship."Milton Vincent, The Gospel Primer Xenos Summer Institute 2012

33. know the total forgiveness and grace of God • "But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” (Galatians 5:16) • "Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him,” (Colossians 2:6) Xenos Summer Institute 2012

34. “As long as I am stricken with the guilt of my sins, I will be captive to them, and will often find myself re-committing the very sins about which I feel most guilty. The Devil is well aware of this fact; he knows that if he can keep me tormented by sin's guilt, he can dominate me with sin's power. The gospel, however, slays sin at this root point and thereby nullifies sin's power over me. The forgiveness of God, made known to me through the gospel, liberates me from sin's power because it liberates me first from its guilt;'' and preaching such forgiveness to myself is a practical way of putting the gospel into operation as a nullifier of sin's power in my life.” Milton Vincent, The Gospel Primer Xenos Summer Institute 2012

35. know the total forgiveness and grace of God • "For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.” (Romans 6:14) • "And to the one who does not work but believes in him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is counted as righteousness,” (Romans 4:5) • "But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed, and, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness.” (Romans 6:17–18) Xenos Summer Institute 2012

36. how do I do this? • Rehearse the gospel every day! • "Your word I have treasured in my heart, That I may not sin against You.” (Psalm 119:11) • "Let your steadfast love come to me, O Lord, your salvation according to your promise; then shall I have an answer for him who taunts me, for I trust in your word.” (Psalm 119:41–42) Xenos Summer Institute 2012

37. Become astounded at the love of God • “And yet the love of the Son of God for us is of such magnitude that the greater the filth and stench of our sins, the more He befriends us. For how amazing it is that the Son of God becomes my servant, that He humbles Himself so, that He cumbers Himself with my misery and sin. . . . He says to me: “You are no longer a sinner, but I am. I am your substitute. You have not sinned, but I have. The entire world is in sin. However, you are not in sin; but I am. All your sins are to rest on Me and not on you.”Martin Luther Xenos Summer Institute 2012

38. Become astounded at the love of God • Develop your devotional life • Let all other steps proceed from these Xenos Summer Institute 2012

39. Final Thoughts Xenos Summer Institute 2012

40. Final Thoughts Xenos Summer Institute 2012

41. Final Thoughts Xenos Summer Institute 2012

42. I know you havequestions