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Reasons For Dating. Dating Points to remember. Initial attraction is a “surface characteristic” Early relationships can be exciting, but they can also cause feelings of rejection and pain. It feels good to have someone interested in you! Everyone experiences being ‘dumped’
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Dating Points to remember • Initial attraction is a “surface characteristic” • Early relationships can be exciting, but they can also cause feelings of rejection and pain. • It feels good to have someone interested in you! • Everyone experiences being ‘dumped’ • Dating is only one part of development as a teen • Adolescent relationships are like a fire- • There is NO magic potion!
Possible Expectations • I expect someone to do things with, a companion. • I hope for a date that is a friend, to understand and accept me. • I want someone that has similar values and standards. • I expect my date to have a pleasant personality and to be fun to be with\ • I want someone that’s good-looking & smart- proud to be seen with. • I need to be able to trust my date and be honest with them. • I want them to treat my family/friends with respect • I expect to live up to these expectations also
Why do we date? • Part of growing up- has benefits- time to look forward to and enjoy the experience • Helps meet people and begin selection process • Introduced new social settings • New experiences that you otherwise may not have taken advantage of • Gives you companionship
When? • Personal answer. . . But consider the following options: • When you feel socially ready • Parent’s permission • The younger you start, the more likely you are to move to early pairing and single dating. These have concerns. • When YOU are ready, not your friends. Everyone has a different dating time clock. • Girls are usually ready before boys therefore girls are more likely to date older boys.
Who? • Someone you’re attracted to! • Physically & by Personality (fun, talented, etc.) • Close to age • The older the date is, the more they may expect from you in terms of involvement, personal commitment, or physical intimacy. Beware older person looking for a young, innocent date. Try not to increase more than 2-3 year age gap • Someone your Parents approve of • Parents can be protective. Make sure you talk things over and try to resolve any issues. Go to dinner with them- let them get to know each other! • Someone with similar values and standards • You both will be more comfortable and may avoid embarrassing or dangerous situations
Motives • Share social experiences • Meet new people • Get to know friends better • Have fun • Try new experiences • Go to new places • To be seen socially with the right people • Use another for the places they can take them • To make someone else jealous • Use another for the presents they can buy them • Use another for emotional support to get over another person. . .”Re-bounding” • Use another person for physical gratification, or date them expecting physical favors Healthy/Good Motives Unhealthy/Bad Motives
Rights You have in dating • 1. To Be Yourself • 2. An enjoyable, safe date • 3. Have your values respected • 4. Care for and protect your body • 5. Est. and protect your reputation • 6. Be free from guilt and fear • 7. Say no