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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famously erudite (comic) scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.“ His mind sees things differently than most of us do. Here are some of his gems.

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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

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  1. If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famously erudite (comic) scientist who once said:"I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.“ His mind sees things differently than most of us do. Here are some of his gems. Half the people you know are below average. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

  2. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. If you want the rainbow, you have got to put up with the rain. All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.

  3. D’varimבדְּבָרִים (Deuteronomy) 1.29-32, 34-35 (from)D’varim / Words בדְּבָרִים

  4. Our faithfulness even in drudgery. His faithfulness in drudgery or dread.

  5. D’varim (Deuteronomy) 1.29

  6. D’varim (Deuteronomy) 1.30 יְיָ ADONI

  7. D’varim (Deuteronomy) 1.31a יְיָ ADONI

  8. D’varim (Deuteronomy) 1.31b

  9. D’varim (Deuteronomy) 1.32 יְיָ ADONI

  10. D’varim (Deuteronomy) 1.34 יְיָ ADONI

  11. D’varim (Deuteronomy) 1.35

  12. 603,550 men according to the first census, plus wives and children. 601,730 38 years later, at the second census ~5,000,000 people. 40 years 5,000,000/40 = 125,000 deaths/year 343 deaths per day, all around the camp. 343 daily funerals.

  13. T’hillim/Ps 90.7-12 For we are destroyed by your anger, overwhelmed by your wrath. You have placed our faults before you, our secret sins in the full light of your presence. All our days ebb away under your wrath; our years die away like a sigh. The span of our life is seventy years, or if we are strong, eighty; yet at best it is toil and sorrow, over in a moment, and then we are gone. 

  14. T’hillim/Ps 90.7-13  Who grasps the power of your anger and wrath to the degree that the fear due you should inspire?  So teach us to count our days, so that we will become wise. Return, ADONI! How long must it go on? Take pity on your servants! 

  15. Yeshayahu/Is. 42.4 NIV He will not falter or be discouraged till he establishes justice on earth. In his Torah the islands will put their hope." Mtt.11.12 From the time of Yokhanan the Immerser until now, the Kingdom of Heaven has been suffering violence; yes, violent ones are trying to snatch it away.  Phil. 4.13 I can do all things through him who gives me power.

  16. T’hillim/Ps 90.14-17   Fill us at daybreak with your love, so that we can sing for joy as long as we live. Let our joy last as long as the time you made us suffer, for as many years as we experienced trouble. Show your deeds to your servants and your glory to their children. 

  17. T’hillim/Ps 90.13-17  May the favor of Adonai our God be on us, prosper for us all the work that we do -yes, prosper the work that we do.

  18. Tikkun תִּקּוּן soul correction, lot in life Ro 8.28 Everything in life you don’t like, commit to the truth, “This is my Tikkun תִּקּוּן, my love gift from King Messiah.”

  19. Levels of living faith. אֱמוּנָהEmunah faith, trust, confidence Active faith.

  20. Our faithfulness even in drudgery. His faithfulness in drudgery or dread.

  21. D’varim (Deuteronomy) 1.29

  22. D’varim (Deuteronomy) 1.30 יְיָ ADONI

  23. July 8 the IDF launched Operation Protective Edge צוק איתן to stop Hamas and other Islamist terrorists from attacking Israeli population centers by unprovoked rocket fire. Once Protective Edge began, Israeli forces were stunned to find the extend of Hamas’ underdround city. Last week, during one of the major tunnel discoveries, an excavation revealed plans for an organized attack against Israel. 

  24. IDF uniforms were found in the tunnel as well as operation plans, weapons and detailed maps of Israeli communities. Later when 24 terrorists were apprehended, interrogation one of the prisoners revealed the rest of the details.  Here is what was revealed:

  25.  “For twelve years we have been building these tunnels and waiting for the right moment, when we were trained and ready. We decided that the time would be this year on Rosh Hashana, 2014. We chose Rosh Hashana because most of the soldiers get leave to go home and there aren’t a lot on guard duty, and it’s a two day holiday. All of Hamas would go through the tunnels we’ve built over twelve years and capture Israel.

  26. In every tunnel we’d send two, three dozen armed terrorists and kidnap civilians, women, children and bring them back to Gaza through the tunnels. And then Israel couldn’t bomb the tunnels because of all the Israeli civilians inside them. And in this way we would occupy the entire country and rule Israel and kill all the Zionists. For years we were planning this and it was going to happen in two months. Your attacks on Gaza destroyed our plans.”

  27. As per the Hamas documents, on Rosh Hashanah of this year (starting September 24), up to 200 Hamas gunmen were to pour out of each of the dozens upon dozens of terror tunnels, many of which we now know exit inside or very near to Israeli civilian communities. In fact, many of the tunnels uncovered over the past week were found to contain holding rooms where presumably Hamas intended to hide kidnapped Israelis.

  28. Hamas propaganda animation

  29. Ps 33.10 ADONI brings to nothing the plans of nations, he foils the plans of the peoples. Mishlei/Prov 19.21 One can devise many plans in one's mind, but ADONI's plan will prevail.  This was a MAJOR near disaster, like Purim, or Hanukkah, or Passover.

  30. Our faithfulness even in drudgery. His faithfulness in drudgery or dread.

  31. T’hillim/Ps 37.3-9 Don't be upset by evildoers or envious of those who do wrong,  for soon they will wither like grass and fade like the green in the fields.  Trust in ADONI, and do good; settle in the land, and feed on faithfulness.  Then you will delight yourself in ADONI, and he will give you your heart's desire. Commit your way to ADONI; trust in him, and he will act. 

  32. T’hillim/Ps 37.3-9  He will make your vindication shine forth like light, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before ADONI; wait patiently till he comes. Don't be upset by those whose way succeeds because of their wicked plans. Stop being angry, put aside rage, and don't be upset - it leads to evil. For evildoers will be cut off, but those hoping in ADONI will inherit the land.

  33. Our faithfulness even in drudgery. His faithfulness in drudgery or dread.

  34. I observed the hand of G-d today with my own eyes. Now I know FOR SURE that there is a G-d!! No one told it to me...I didn't hear it from someone else...I saw this happen with my own eyes. I am an integral part of the iron dome operation. What we do here is an exact science and I cannot give many details of what we do.

  35. The other day we knew that a missile was headed directly for Tel Aviv...aimed at one of the 3 big towers, a shopping center in the middle of the city. We sent up one missile to intercept it, and we missed. We sent a second one, and we missed. We sent a third one to intercept...and we missed.

  36. Azrieli HaShalom Center, Tel Aviv

  37. Something even remotely like this has only happened other other time ever that I am aware of. We are very exact and very good at what we do. We do not miss. So to miss 3 times is not possible.

  38. By this time, disaster was eminent. We alerted all of the emergency crews within and around Tel Aviv to evacuate, but by this time there was little that could be done. Their missile was only minutes from detonation. We began the procedure of sending off one final missile to try and intercept it just before it came down, but we knew that casualties would still be imminent. But all of a sudden,

  39. as we were scrambling to do anything and everything we could to save Tel Aviv, all of a sudden OUT OF NOWHERE came up a huge wind... and blew the missile from over Tel Aviv all the way into the Sea and dropped it off exactly safely into the water where no one was injured!!! You must understand ...there was NO WIND...and then there was A HUGE WIND.

  40. It was nothing other than the hand of Gd!! I saw it with my very own eyes!!! The wind was not there before and it was not there after.

  41. It didn't come from somewhere, it came from NOWHERE. And after it moved the missile to the sea, it disappeared! So, after seeing this, I can no longer deny the existence of Gd. I put tfellin on right after this, and I took upon myself to keep Shabbat. Yesterday was my first Shabbat to keep and it was the best Shabbat of my life."

  42. Our faithfulness even in drudgery. His faithfulness in drudgery or dread.

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